|Reviews for Revenge of the Phoenix|
| Moka-girl chapter 1 . 3/1
The story feels kind of flat, and rehearsed. The emotion isn't really there. You should focus more on describing emotions, the reactions on people's faces, and so on.
| starboy454 chapter 9 . 3/1
| Goundry chapter 9 . 3/1
It's seems like an intresting idea for a story but I keep getting lost as though there's things happening "off screen" that we need to know, I think you maybe need to go through and add a few more details
| starboy454 chapter 8 . 1/26
| Avamys chapter 2 . 9/20/2014
The flow runs badly in this chapter. Scenes are too chopped up with bits and pieces scattered here and there. Again, more details and description needed. Your lines are way too dry.
There seem to be grammatical problems throughout this chapter, primarily with the tense.
| Avamys chapter 1 . 9/20/2014
I haven't read the previous version so sadly I cannot do a comparison.
This chapter does a nice job in setting some basic facts, but it doesn't do such a good job in keeping readers attracted. It is not too good of a beginning as it fails to keep interest at bay. To improve, I would suggest adding more vivid description and action.
Also, I am not sure if the reason for Voldemort not killing James will be explained in later chapters, but for now this seems rather illogical.
| Jarno chapter 3 . 2/15/2014
I'm sorry but: "Well there are also the Chaos Elements. Those are the elemantals that are slightly stronger and darker having been gifted by Chaos." So in your story the dark guys are actually stornger that the light? I guess Harry might as well give up then since he'll always be the weaker compared to his enemies.
Barring that, I think your story is interesting. But dark and light need to be in balance for your story to really work. If your opponent simply is stronger than you, simply had more potential, you might as well give up.
| izzyp120 chapter 7 . 4/10/2013
It was cool
| dbzgtfan2004 chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
This is a good story. Please continue. Harry and Hermione forever.
| firebolthallow1572 chapter 5 . 11/30/2012
So what next?
| starlite22 chapter 5 . 11/25/2012
Why's Harry being do mean to Neville ?
| starboy454 chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
| Jarno chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
Hmm, it's a good story but I don't really get why chaos agents should be stronger. Kinda makes it rather impossible for Harry to defeat them. They're five of both, so no superior numbers. And the chaos agents are stronger and not limited by ethics...
| MistBlade8 chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
may i ask a question? your story is good, by the way. but why is Neville acting weird? is he an Elemental?
| Red Phoenix Dragon chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
Good update. Ginny showed her Molly side by bullying Ronald.
Hermione's water elemental should have destroyed the fire bracelet that Ginny tried to use to punish Hermione.
Neville is showing more confidence. So when will Luna make her entrance?
Thanks for sharing your story. Please update soon.