|Reviews for World of Warcraft: Fall of Dawn|
| airmailmrcool chapter 1 . 4/7
It was nice but I see that you are making the same mistake as many others with redundant hand holding and not enough small talk in dialogue. What I mean is: You don't need to say that the doors have enough power and then STRESS that they can do this despite the lack of power. Normal people do not talk like this and your readers are smart enough to figure it out. Small talk to get the characters interacting outside of a purely informational sense would be nice aswell. The quip about John's head being empty was a nice start but there was several minutes of moving in there while both parties said nothing. Aside from that your monologuing as well as exposition was great and I look forward to reading the other chapters. Thank you very much for sharing your creativity with the world.
| reallyfreakingnerdy chapter 7 . 3/27
Honestly, I don't see the point in this. You haven't added nearly enough of your own influence to really differentiate this from the base. If you ever come back to this, I recommend a rewrite removing or at least changing large chunks of this so that it is more than a slightly different rehash.
| reallyfreakingnerdy chapter 3 . 3/27
While it's alright to base a work off another's, it is a massive negative point that so much of this fic so far is near identical to the original. I've had to skip massive sections just to make it this far. I'll give it a few more chapters but it may be a good idea to condense all of Freedom Guards' stuff to a single chapter.
| Eldagar chapter 7 . 3/26
Your story is too much like "World of Warcraft Halo" by: Freedom Guard (May he rest in peace).
It is my hope that you at least acknowledge him, because, this is clearly not your story
| King Rocket chapter 7 . 3/7
"The next chapter is around the corner and you don't need to wait long for it".
*look at calendar*
Your sense of time is interesting.
| bearybeary chapter 7 . 12/24/2015
Just take your time and you'll be fine.
| Guest chapter 5 . 12/19/2015
It's taken me a good 3 and a half hours to read 5 chapters! That's a lot of words.
| nubsauce13 chapter 7 . 9/10/2015
I don't know if you know this yet. I just found out about it myself but the guy you got this story idea from, Freedom Guard, apparently passed away due to a cardiac arrest on the 5th of August. Sorry about telling you through a review.
| Guest chapter 4 . 8/24/2015
That "religious rule" of the UNSC is pretty stupid, and doesn't even make sense.
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/19/2015
Just so you know you don't have to worry about copying freedom guard's work anymore. There has been talking amongs authors that he has passed away on august 5 2015 and it looks like it is the truth.
| Rakaan chapter 7 . 8/9/2015
I hope this chapter gets deleted when the real chapter comes out. It's a pet peeve of mine that the chapter drop-down box is littered with A/N "Update" and other such non-chapters. Other than that, this is a pretty damn fine story.
| Rakaan chapter 5 . 8/9/2015
The Chief seems to roll his eyes a lot at Cortana's comments. They'd been together for years, and if this is any indication, it seems he rolls his eyes like a dozen times a day. o.O
| Rakaan chapter 3 . 8/9/2015
I'm surprised John busted out some morphine for the first aid - they are not human after all, and for all he knew they might have had some kind of fatal allergy to it.
| Rakaan chapter 2 . 8/9/2015
As someone who has little to no knowledge of Warcraft lore and races, I am pleased to report your descriptions were good enough that I felt no need to go looking up the wiki and could just enjoy the chapter as I read. Well done!
| Rakaan chapter 1 . 8/9/2015
A damn fine first chapter!