|Reviews for What Might Have Been|
| CGreene chapter 13 . 3/8
Oh, I loved the intro here. So good. And then, all the awkwardness!
But I really wish Katniss had said what she was thinking about sex being a gamble about another "unexpected mouth to feed or loved one's name in the bowl" out loud to Gale. I wonder what he would have said, and how much he thinks about that stuff. (I mean, he has to, right?)
And you're building up Katniss's slow awareness of how she feels and what she wants so well.
| Guest chapter 18 . 3/8
Gaaaa! I am so glad Rory is okay! You wrote a perfect exchange between Hazelle and Gale. I loved the way Katniss navigated her way through their fight and stayed to comfort Hazelle. I really hope you update soon b/c I am not able to stop thinking about why the peacekeepers are there! I love the innocence of Gale and Katniss and them taking soooo long to act on their feeling, though I really hope they do soon! I also hope this has a happy ending for the two of them. They deserve that after all the shit they deal with ( pardon my language). This is an amazing fanfic
| CGreene chapter 12 . 3/7
Ok, my dog is a monster, and he jumped on my lap (which was occupied by my laptop), thus sending my review before I was actually finished. I didn't get to add how much I loved Gale's comment about how he thought K might change her mind about kisses once she was actually kissed. That was so freaking sweet! and cute and just probably passed right over K's head, but that Gale thought it...gah!
Anyhoo, on to twelve, and let me just say, if I could give an award for the best line in fanfic, it'd be for Hazelle saying, "it's my house and I'm going to make sure he remembers it's my house and I have certain expectations for how he speaks to any woman he brings into it." I. love. that. so so so so much. If I could make a meme for it, I would. Mama H is my favorite right now. I love her mom power. And her woman power. And her hell no to the bullshit.
And Gale is kind of jerk to Maura. (I think that might be part of the reason I like Mama H standing up for her, bc no one else is). I really see in their dialogue how he's dismissive of her (I'll tell her later, she'll understand later, you can't ask that, it's private...) I mean, I see where he's coming from, but I also see her as a real human character with needs and who's trying to navigate all this, and I think that it's brilliant you are able to flesh her out this way. She could have been a nag or a slut or something, but she's not. And I think that's great, even though she and G aren't working well together, she's just a teenage girl who wants the boy she likes to spend more time with her, and he's just a teenage boy who doesn't have any more to give and has to take it out on someone.
And Rory here! Aww, Rory! I love his low whistle and careful consideration on things. I love side characters who you don't see much, so you forget they're there all the while paying attention. Such a great little exchange between him and Katniss.
Oh, and the moment where G touches her back! Perfect!
| CGreene chapter 11 . 3/7
I love how these Hawthornes make up post all their fights, you just do it so well, and I love how Gale comes to K here, so good. This is like a how to manual on how to deal with conflict effectively, in my opinion, and I think it's just great. (I don't know what that says about me, but...just so you know, I love it, all of it. Esp. G/K problems and G/Mama H problems.)
Love the exchange about alcohol, I love how you remember and keep Gale and Katniss teenagers amidst this all. I really like how your Gale has fun and enjoys things when he can. It makes for a great, really well rounded character and a great Gale.
And speaking of teenagery fun and awkwardness: the poker! Such a good scene to include! I love it, their stupid/sexual wagers, Gale's protectiveness, Katniss's confusion and naivety...and the kiss! Weird, but I liked that detail too.
Also, I wanted to let you know I love all your names. They all seem like very Seam appropriate names. In my own writing, I worry about it a lot, and I've seen a lot of names that I don't think fit, and you're doing it brilliantly, so kudos on that.
| CGreene chapter 9 . 3/7
(Ok, so somehow, I got the review for Ch. 9 posted for Ch. 10 - your guess is as good as mine as to how I accomplished that, so, these two are backwards. This is actually for Ch. 10)
What a powerful detail when G admits he was jealous of Thom. I love that you included it and had him realize that. So perfectly heartbreaking and serves to steer his world view about things. Just brilliant (and again, just subtly slipped in, you're too good!)
I again love the Hawthorne sibling interactions with Vick this time standing up to G about just being sad. And how G relents/ accepts Vick here.
Ahh, the "bury me in the woods" convo. (Please, don't make either of them bury the other in the woods!)
Love love love the overview of all going on that the Hawthornes (esp Prim coming out of her shell, and Gale watching over her) But most of all, I love Mama H, just being her bad ass super mom, making stews and endlessly loving and looking after all those kids.
Ahh, and then the argument. G's controlling side comes out (in the sense that he thinks he should have been informed first and gets angry at her), not that I fault him for it, but I see K's pov too , and I just love how you handle all that and make both sides real and believable and both people flawed and still sympathetic.
| CGreene chapter 10 . 3/7
"She wishes she could reach up and smooth those frown lines off his face" such a lovely detail, and hint at her budding feelings for G :)
And Prim saying, "he's prob going to cry again." God, love that, love that G does cry, that Prim notices. Just so good. And again, slipped in so beautifully.
And G's quip "that irritable tone, she's back" Love it!
Oh, and Katniss's connections of thoughts about the medicine, Haymitch, Hazelle (and her ring!) and then to her mom and Gale...so so so good. Love it. And of course, she immediately goes into overdrive thinking of how she'll repay him...I loled at her almost hoping for a bobcat attack. Big smiles.
And, I again love the detail you give to all the characters, like Rory here, it's like you never forget each of these people are real, even if they don't get much screen/page time, and that is seriously impressive. Love K and Rory's little exchange on the hunting and how G steps in: "nope...momentary lapse in judgement", and his bit at K, "you've barely been awake 24 hrs and already causing me trouble." :) I just love how you break the heart-wrenching drama from the last few chapters with sweet humor here.
Then, moving to their back porch exchange - you handled that so well, just everything, from his not being in the mood for her snaps, her not actually wanting to and trying to apologize, her humiliation "having not brought anything to the table recently other than problems" (good line), his insisting she does, and (my god) how he gets her to realize that. Just perfect.
You're amazing and an amazing writer and I'm just so impressed with this story and how you navigate these characters.
| CGreene chapter 8 . 3/7
Ok, so I've held off commenting on Mrs. E b/c I haven't really known what to say, it's so sad, but I guess believable too (I mean, amputating people's legs and watching them all die is hard, but so is helping do that and dragging away their bodies like Gale did, so...) but now that Prim is sick, I really sort of expected Mrs. E to perk back up, and the fact that she isn't...I just don't know. But K's hope that she will is just heartbreaking and explains so much about why K is the way she is.
Love G doing the dishes, I just do.
And AH! about the near-hug, "if he does that, she might never come out of his arms." Just so good!
I also like how K falls asleep making tea (I don't like it, of course, but I like how you write it and handled it) and esp how she thinks G will leave, but gets up for Prim's voice. Good character detail. And I like him barreling in the house too :)
| CGreene chapter 7 . 3/7
Love Katniss's snap and preoccupation with fair trades between her and Gale. Also, how Gale handles his siblings, so good, and yet sets up so many future conflicts with their different perspectives and power dynamics. I also love seeing strong Gale here support Katniss. I have to admit, I love that you're Gale isn't "perfect" in the sense that he is just always great and strong and supporting everyone with no weaknesses or flaws (I love how you complicate him and make him real and with his own believeable flaws), but I also like seeing this "I'll be strong for you and deal with everything else" side he's giving K now. (I hope I articulated that well, what I mean is, essentially, I love this!
| CGreene chapter 6 . 3/7
Love Sae's insight about the mining accident" leading to sicker people, "live long enough and you notice these patterns" such a great detail, and you just slip it in there so beautifully! but it speaks volumes.
And I so love the exchange with Maura. I think it's great how much humanity you cram into side characters, you don't dismiss anybody, that that's just amazing, real skill. I can kind of see her relationship with G from both of their povs, and all the problems from that, and that's just amazing. I like how you add little details to do that, like G saying he told her from the beginning the didn't have time for a fairy tale romance, but also his acknowledging she deserves a real convo about their break up. I love that detail, because it says so much about who G is, and how he thinks about relationships.
And, ahh! K's creeping jealousy/ interest (so well paced, I love the slow turn/burn approach) and then Prim coughing out of no where! what a cliffhanger!
| CGreene chapter 5 . 3/7
Aww, the moment when K realizes he and G couldn't have gotten through it without each other. And when Prim addresses her about having to take of their mom the first time around, ohhh...
And then the turn, K unleashing her anger and Prim standing up to her. I love again how your characters are also so human and real. K's succumbs to her anger and unleashes, Prim tests their boundaries by rebuking K, then reacts poorly by running, and then how Hazelle and Gale handle it all at the end (his exchange with Rory, harsh, hard, but very well done, and I love the fraught tension when gale puts on his "father" hat and scolds everyone). Everyone is so perfectly human, which means flawed, and you capture that brilliantly.
I also like this detail "The boy didn't really sound like he'd have such qualms [about hitting a girl."
I also want to praise you for showing how hard life in the Seam really is. The vague threat of sexual violence and the threat of real violence dances around this chapter so wonderfully. You acknowledge it, but don't over do it, and I think that's a huge testament to your writing skills. Very well done.
And again, you handle all these characters brilliantly-they all have their own realistic motives and povs and they come together and clash and, oh my, it's so so good.
| CGreene chapter 4 . 3/7
Gale carrying away the dead bodies, great (terrible) but great detail to include.
Also, G venting his frustration on the tree. Very believeable. I wish he'd be a bit more open to listening to K give him advice (bc he'd certainly expect her to follow his advice) but this is very true to his character, and as he's used to the head male, very realistic, so I loved it.
I also like that you included K "surprised at how authoritative" she sounded when talking to Thom's family. I think that's a true testament to your writing skills as K could be seen as the weak link here, while her mom, G, Prim, and even Hazelle don't turn away from anything, and with this detail, this interaction, you let K shine even though all that blood and stuff gets to her, so I'm so glad you included it.
And then you hit a home run with K's character for how she interacts with G at the end. Suggesting he sleep, their tiny fight about it, understanding, and then getting the kids to get him a new shirt and to eat, and then taking that saw to clean it for him, so so well done. great job.
| CGreene chapter 3 . 3/7
Ahh, the "I wonder if-" and K not wanting to know! Again, a great little detail that speaks volumes about their characters and how their minds work in these types of situations. So good!
Also, well done handling their "I'd rather you didn't" argument, both from initial remark to passing the honey, to the dishes, and final understanding. "They both know okay means all those things anyway" - ahhh, so good!
And, you also introduce Haymitch really well. I love how he helps and cares but also doesn't really, and I love his comment about "that desperate for a drink" and "I do you really think I need the money?" So good and well done to convey his character.
Ohh, and the washing of the saw in the sink - the perfect detail to capture that gruesome scene.
| CGreene chapter 2 . 3/7
I love a few of K's quips here, "he's a heartbreaker"; "Gale's the resident expect". I also like how you pair K feeling helpless to G's anger, I think that's a good crux for their dynamic. Again, massive love for Mama Hawthorne, you do her so well here, I'm just in love.
| CGreene chapter 1 . 3/7
I am so excited I just discovered this story I don't know how I didn't come across it before. I too did the prompting everthorne on tumblr and found it that way, and boy, am I glad I did. I can't tell you how much I loved this. I read the whole thing through in one sitting and now I'll try and go back and tell you all that I loved along the way (because there is just so much!)
I love the set up here, how you get their circumstances and Kantiss's character across so quickly, bravo. That's not easy to do, and you're opening impressively shows G&K needs/ situation and K's mind as she considers how to reveal her & G's relationship and what she thinks about it. Greatly done.
I also really like how you get Tia and Gale's character, neither of them are perfect, but both of them are so perfectly teenager. I feel a little bad for Tia (in the sense I see where she's coming from), and I kind of cringe when Gale says "I thought we were on the same page" (but I cringe in a good way god, when someone has to say that to someone who's on a different page), but the whole thing is so well done and so well written, so true to life. Again, immense bravo on that.
A few little things I like - Tia slapping Gale, K says "amusing in retrospect," Gale's bread/peace offering.
Also, I fucking love Hazelle. You get her perfect, so perfect, and right off the bat here, the way she addresses Gale is phenomenal. I loled at the "not conducting himself like a gentleman" line, and love K's rebuke too. And the best, "If you'd kept your pants on..." so so so good.
Finally, I just love how well you introduce your version of this world and these characters. You say so much about who your K, G, and Hazelle are in this scene, it's a truly great set up. And, I love how you keep them teenagers here with teenagery problems even in their hellish world. It's so believable and so well done. Again, bravo!
| Divergentstar85 chapter 18 . 2/25
You should have Katniss get a boyfriend, so Gale will understand Katniss's view.