|Reviews for What Might Have Been|
| CGreene chapter 18 . 3/10/2015
Oh lordy, the exchange between Mama H and Gale...intense and painful and perfectly done. I'm so impressed right now.
Hazelle's remarks are cutting, but, I see where she's coming from, though...still, hard. Poor Gale.
And Gale's anger is pure and awesome here. A bit frightening, but totally justified. (and you do the best angry Gale I've ever seen, btw, I'm constantly in awe of how you toe the line but never go so far that I find him ridiculous, unsympathetic, or crazy or scary or something.)
Ahh, that portion size detail...
And I love Gale's realization here. I love his rebel self. And I too am a big picture logic person, so I can't help but kind of cheer him on here as sad as it makes me considering what it might mean in the short term to his family. I'm so glad Gale's come to this though. I love you for it.
"You want me to think about family? Well I do, and I'm going to kill myself in the process and it still won't be enough..." Hazelle kind of deserved that there, but damn, so good...so good. (and I like how Hazelle sees his point there at the end). And then I love her acknowledging he's right and can fight at the end and mentioning the underground rebellion. You're setting up so much potential right now! So good! And Ahh! The Peacekeepers!
| CGreene chapter 17 . 3/10/2015
Oh my goodness, the drama with the Game. Little Rue! How sweet Thom and Ansley are (I'm seriously loving them. You make me want to start fanfic off your fanfic about them, for real...)
And then, omg, everything else is so intense. Rue! Rory! Gale!
I can hardly handle this! (and I've already read it once!)
| CGreene chapter 16 . 3/10/2015
Ohh, poor Gale at the beginning here. He has to deal with so much, and still putting his family's and friend's emotions before him, being strong because they need him to, ack, that gets to me. (And makes me swoon and remember why I love this boy so much.)
And, serious drama and intrigue with the Games! You're a truly talented writer, please don't ever doubt it. Not only do you have some to of the best conceived and realized characters here (and not just G and K, but Hazelle, Rory, Thom, Maura), but you've got an intriguing plot developing, and this budding romance, and everything is so perfect. You're brilliant. Thank you for this. So very well done.
And that "because Ansley is being nice and sharing with him," line, "nothing's better than when a girl shares." I loled at that. Love that bit of humor snuck in, and love that you still make Gale humorous in the face of all this awful.
| CGreene chapter 15 . 3/10/2015
Omg, the moment with Rory. I was so fraught, so heart-wrenching, so good! And then Thom. I love Thom! I just do. I might even like him more than Gale right now, and I didn't think that was possible.
And ohh! I'm all "awws" right now about their long awaited cuddle scene! It was well worth the wait! So good.
| CGreene chapter 14 . 3/9/2015
Ahh, love Mama H here again, "you're losing your temper not punishing," so important to notice. (Also, I was seriously worried what G might do to Vick for a moment before she stepped in). So glad she did, and so glad you clarified that he wasn't certain he was going to beat the hell out of Vick.
Oh, and the "you're not dad!" "believe me, I know" line, so crushing. I just feel so much anguish between those few words and love it. You capture so much if so few details sometimes, I'm still in awe.
And, damn, I was not expecting Gale's name to be called! (I mean, I should have), but damn! And, I don't even know what to believe will happen, b/c you said they were going to cuddle, and you said there'd be no games, but maybe this story got away from you and you changed your mind! Ahh, I was so nervous reading this ending!
| CGreene chapter 13 . 3/8/2015
Oh, I loved the intro here. So good. And then, all the awkwardness!
But I really wish Katniss had said what she was thinking about sex being a gamble about another "unexpected mouth to feed or loved one's name in the bowl" out loud to Gale. I wonder what he would have said, and how much he thinks about that stuff. (I mean, he has to, right?)
And you're building up Katniss's slow awareness of how she feels and what she wants so well.
| Guest chapter 18 . 3/8/2015
Gaaaa! I am so glad Rory is okay! You wrote a perfect exchange between Hazelle and Gale. I loved the way Katniss navigated her way through their fight and stayed to comfort Hazelle. I really hope you update soon b/c I am not able to stop thinking about why the peacekeepers are there! I love the innocence of Gale and Katniss and them taking soooo long to act on their feeling, though I really hope they do soon! I also hope this has a happy ending for the two of them. They deserve that after all the shit they deal with ( pardon my language). This is an amazing fanfic
| CGreene chapter 12 . 3/7/2015
Ok, my dog is a monster, and he jumped on my lap (which was occupied by my laptop), thus sending my review before I was actually finished. I didn't get to add how much I loved Gale's comment about how he thought K might change her mind about kisses once she was actually kissed. That was so freaking sweet! and cute and just probably passed right over K's head, but that Gale thought it...gah!
Anyhoo, on to twelve, and let me just say, if I could give an award for the best line in fanfic, it'd be for Hazelle saying, "it's my house and I'm going to make sure he remembers it's my house and I have certain expectations for how he speaks to any woman he brings into it." I. love. that. so so so so much. If I could make a meme for it, I would. Mama H is my favorite right now. I love her mom power. And her woman power. And her hell no to the bullshit.
And Gale is kind of jerk to Maura. (I think that might be part of the reason I like Mama H standing up for her, bc no one else is). I really see in their dialogue how he's dismissive of her (I'll tell her later, she'll understand later, you can't ask that, it's private...) I mean, I see where he's coming from, but I also see her as a real human character with needs and who's trying to navigate all this, and I think that it's brilliant you are able to flesh her out this way. She could have been a nag or a slut or something, but she's not. And I think that's great, even though she and G aren't working well together, she's just a teenage girl who wants the boy she likes to spend more time with her, and he's just a teenage boy who doesn't have any more to give and has to take it out on someone.
And Rory here! Aww, Rory! I love his low whistle and careful consideration on things. I love side characters who you don't see much, so you forget they're there all the while paying attention. Such a great little exchange between him and Katniss.
Oh, and the moment where G touches her back! Perfect!
| CGreene chapter 11 . 3/7/2015
I love how these Hawthornes make up post all their fights, you just do it so well, and I love how Gale comes to K here, so good. This is like a how to manual on how to deal with conflict effectively, in my opinion, and I think it's just great. (I don't know what that says about me, but...just so you know, I love it, all of it. Esp. G/K problems and G/Mama H problems.)
Love the exchange about alcohol, I love how you remember and keep Gale and Katniss teenagers amidst this all. I really like how your Gale has fun and enjoys things when he can. It makes for a great, really well rounded character and a great Gale.
And speaking of teenagery fun and awkwardness: the poker! Such a good scene to include! I love it, their stupid/sexual wagers, Gale's protectiveness, Katniss's confusion and naivety...and the kiss! Weird, but I liked that detail too.
Also, I wanted to let you know I love all your names. They all seem like very Seam appropriate names. In my own writing, I worry about it a lot, and I've seen a lot of names that I don't think fit, and you're doing it brilliantly, so kudos on that.
| CGreene chapter 9 . 3/7/2015
(Ok, so somehow, I got the review for Ch. 9 posted for Ch. 10 - your guess is as good as mine as to how I accomplished that, so, these two are backwards. This is actually for Ch. 10)
What a powerful detail when G admits he was jealous of Thom. I love that you included it and had him realize that. So perfectly heartbreaking and serves to steer his world view about things. Just brilliant (and again, just subtly slipped in, you're too good!)
I again love the Hawthorne sibling interactions with Vick this time standing up to G about just being sad. And how G relents/ accepts Vick here.
Ahh, the "bury me in the woods" convo. (Please, don't make either of them bury the other in the woods!)
Love love love the overview of all going on that the Hawthornes (esp Prim coming out of her shell, and Gale watching over her) But most of all, I love Mama H, just being her bad ass super mom, making stews and endlessly loving and looking after all those kids.
Ahh, and then the argument. G's controlling side comes out (in the sense that he thinks he should have been informed first and gets angry at her), not that I fault him for it, but I see K's pov too , and I just love how you handle all that and make both sides real and believable and both people flawed and still sympathetic.
| CGreene chapter 10 . 3/7/2015
"She wishes she could reach up and smooth those frown lines off his face" such a lovely detail, and hint at her budding feelings for G :)
And Prim saying, "he's prob going to cry again." God, love that, love that G does cry, that Prim notices. Just so good. And again, slipped in so beautifully.
And G's quip "that irritable tone, she's back" Love it!
Oh, and Katniss's connections of thoughts about the medicine, Haymitch, Hazelle (and her ring!) and then to her mom and Gale...so so so good. Love it. And of course, she immediately goes into overdrive thinking of how she'll repay him...I loled at her almost hoping for a bobcat attack. Big smiles.
And, I again love the detail you give to all the characters, like Rory here, it's like you never forget each of these people are real, even if they don't get much screen/page time, and that is seriously impressive. Love K and Rory's little exchange on the hunting and how G steps in: "nope...momentary lapse in judgement", and his bit at K, "you've barely been awake 24 hrs and already causing me trouble." :) I just love how you break the heart-wrenching drama from the last few chapters with sweet humor here.
Then, moving to their back porch exchange - you handled that so well, just everything, from his not being in the mood for her snaps, her not actually wanting to and trying to apologize, her humiliation "having not brought anything to the table recently other than problems" (good line), his insisting she does, and (my god) how he gets her to realize that. Just perfect.
You're amazing and an amazing writer and I'm just so impressed with this story and how you navigate these characters.
| CGreene chapter 8 . 3/7/2015
Ok, so I've held off commenting on Mrs. E b/c I haven't really known what to say, it's so sad, but I guess believable too (I mean, amputating people's legs and watching them all die is hard, but so is helping do that and dragging away their bodies like Gale did, so...) but now that Prim is sick, I really sort of expected Mrs. E to perk back up, and the fact that she isn't...I just don't know. But K's hope that she will is just heartbreaking and explains so much about why K is the way she is.
Love G doing the dishes, I just do.
And AH! about the near-hug, "if he does that, she might never come out of his arms." Just so good!
I also like how K falls asleep making tea (I don't like it, of course, but I like how you write it and handled it) and esp how she thinks G will leave, but gets up for Prim's voice. Good character detail. And I like him barreling in the house too :)
| CGreene chapter 7 . 3/7/2015
Love Katniss's snap and preoccupation with fair trades between her and Gale. Also, how Gale handles his siblings, so good, and yet sets up so many future conflicts with their different perspectives and power dynamics. I also love seeing strong Gale here support Katniss. I have to admit, I love that you're Gale isn't "perfect" in the sense that he is just always great and strong and supporting everyone with no weaknesses or flaws (I love how you complicate him and make him real and with his own believeable flaws), but I also like seeing this "I'll be strong for you and deal with everything else" side he's giving K now. (I hope I articulated that well, what I mean is, essentially, I love this!
| CGreene chapter 6 . 3/7/2015
Love Sae's insight about the mining accident" leading to sicker people, "live long enough and you notice these patterns" such a great detail, and you just slip it in there so beautifully! but it speaks volumes.
And I so love the exchange with Maura. I think it's great how much humanity you cram into side characters, you don't dismiss anybody, that that's just amazing, real skill. I can kind of see her relationship with G from both of their povs, and all the problems from that, and that's just amazing. I like how you add little details to do that, like G saying he told her from the beginning the didn't have time for a fairy tale romance, but also his acknowledging she deserves a real convo about their break up. I love that detail, because it says so much about who G is, and how he thinks about relationships.
And, ahh! K's creeping jealousy/ interest (so well paced, I love the slow turn/burn approach) and then Prim coughing out of no where! what a cliffhanger!
| CGreene chapter 5 . 3/7/2015
Aww, the moment when K realizes he and G couldn't have gotten through it without each other. And when Prim addresses her about having to take of their mom the first time around, ohhh...
And then the turn, K unleashing her anger and Prim standing up to her. I love again how your characters are also so human and real. K's succumbs to her anger and unleashes, Prim tests their boundaries by rebuking K, then reacts poorly by running, and then how Hazelle and Gale handle it all at the end (his exchange with Rory, harsh, hard, but very well done, and I love the fraught tension when gale puts on his "father" hat and scolds everyone). Everyone is so perfectly human, which means flawed, and you capture that brilliantly.
I also like this detail "The boy didn't really sound like he'd have such qualms [about hitting a girl."
I also want to praise you for showing how hard life in the Seam really is. The vague threat of sexual violence and the threat of real violence dances around this chapter so wonderfully. You acknowledge it, but don't over do it, and I think that's a huge testament to your writing skills. Very well done.
And again, you handle all these characters brilliantly-they all have their own realistic motives and povs and they come together and clash and, oh my, it's so so good.