|Reviews for A Fox At War|
| Simballa chapter 3 . 7/8
So much potential to this story
| TheHybrid02 chapter 3 . 4/1/2013
Your stories are amazing, but why can't you keep writing!?
| So I'm Kevin chapter 3 . 12/2/2012
This is a really good story you got here Ms. Platinum Player.
First off the premise is something I have never seen in a Naruto fanfic in my time reading Naruto fanfics which is what if the third ninja war never ended. Most stories normally have that war end and another one start up if they want one for the plot. Yours on the other hand is what if that war never end and what are the effect of the village if they had a seemingly never ending war instead of 12 year of relative peace, and what the effect would it be on the main cast team 7.
Second off is that you manage to pull off a weak female Naruto without making her come off as overly whiney or “weak” but is really stronger than the series Naruto and has abilities you saw in other anime and you thought were awesome. I’m going to over analyze because this got me thinking so her what I think of your writing it really good could use some double checking and go through word just to make sure nothing misspelled but other than that good as for the yuri… I really don’t mind if your stories are yuri if their all about this qualities and as long as it isn’t just yuri and has a story too it. Keep up the good work because this was really good read.
I’ll start off how I think the villages’ would act if this war was as long as it would by the time your story starts.
The Cloud would probably be acting defensive or not fully committed because of A not wanting Bee to be anything other than the village guardian put a damper on their offensive strength when their best weapon can’t fight. Though the Cloud would probably be trying to be building up a large number of jutsu, bloodline, and other weapons their probably not allies of any of the other 4 major villages.
The Rock is probably weathering the storm of the Cloud, Sand, & Leaf attacking and the Rock attacking them with varying suggest. They might use their 2 demons to hold their land and be more willing to use mercenaries than the other villages.
The Mist are probably just fighting everything, and taking a lot of island and other areas near the sea.
The Sand is probably strong allies of the Leaf and don’t plan on attacking them since their lord is probably not cutting their budget in war time… Garaa probably still insane as well.
The lesser villages have by the constant years of war if any of them are left would most likely be completely decimated if not outright destroyed by the effect of war. If any of them are left would probably be forced to ally with one of the larger villages or act as a barley their buffer between the 5 major lands.
The Leaf has become more militaristic than it was in the main series, and the worst thing that happened to them is the death of the Fourth. With the death of the Fourth the only real person that could be Hokage would be the Third who is still probably Hokage by the start of the story. Because of the fact that the leader of the village is an old man who can barley fight,(and is getting on in years) and who is only in that seat because he is the only one competent enough (or willing) to be there the village people went to find a new thing to idolize which they found in the Uchiha clan. Also I think the 16 age for graduation to genin dose make sense with the war going on as long as it is people would feel uncomfortable with sending little kids off to be cannon fodder so they extended the graduation day by 4 years. So in the short run for four years they probably didn’t have enough soldiers but after those 4 years they had higher quality recruits. It would be interesting if only the Leaf had this idea since it would make them different from the other villages.
Sasuke seems like what would happen if he was raised, and taught by his family in war time to be honest. Remember he started out as a nice little boy that loved his family, but what would happen if said child was then raised in an environment where he is taught that only his family are important they are the elite they are the very “Heroes of The Village” and everyone else is lesser they should be proud glad even to be in the present of a single uchiha clan member to give their life for a single clan member’s goals. Also it probably help that the only person really trying to stand against that belief is a little girl who gotten beaten down by everyone the second she even suggest such a notion, and said girl has long since had here will broken would further prove to him that “The Clan” superiority is not just opinion but cold hard facts. The only way I can see Sasuke really show any concern for or desire to be with Naruko is if his clan says that he must make Naruko his so the clan can use the Fox to gain even more power over the village like make Itachi Hokage, or have the Fox’s power spread throughout the clan through the children.
Sakura was because of her talent push up through the social status to the elites because she is one of their most potential healers. The village to get the best ninja they could get for the war probably did test on the children that were not from clans that had special abilities so they could see what those children could be good at it and train them early instead of just leaving the jounin teacher to guess. During that they saw Sakura had excellent chakra control, high intelligence, and a few other things that made her perfect to be a medic. She still had a crushed on Sasuke before the whole setting a teammate on fire thing (which it think would be a huge turn off for most people) meaning that her back story with Ino is still probably that same. Her feeling on Naruko before and after the whole being set a blaze by teammate is easy to figure out. Before Naruko was the village’s pariah, a clanless waste of space who best stay out of her way of getting Sasuke to fall for her, and who should just drop dead and give up. After shock at what Sasuke just so casually done to a person, guilt that she use to think the same way, and horror that Naruko just stood there and took it accepting death. Sakura before the story started probably worked in a hospital to get some practices before she head to the frontline she used to people fight to stay alive while she healed them she has never seen just stand there and accept dying like what Naruko did. This fic could become a yuri and make sense because Sakura probably the only one that cares about Naruko as a person, Sasuke would only care about her if the clan wanted her power, and Kakashi at the moment only care that she is the legacy to someone he care about.
Kakashi is a person who has been in a war most of his life, and it does not seem like there is any hope of it ending. If Obito ever told about how important teamwork was it lost it meaning over the years of war. The ability to kill is more important to him than teamwork… well unless he was lying at the end of the test. For Naruko he realize that she lost the will to fight after seeing how far he was above her teammate so he instead instilled in her the fear of death so that her survival instinct kick in. It would be a good idea if he taught Naruko the shadow clone to build up her confidence.
Naruko is a girl that has been beaten to the point she is without hope. When we first see her she just returned to her one room apartment and complained about her situation it seemed like useless flailing at something she cannot change, and she even berates herself for it. I’m guessing that because of the war that the Third has never had time for her or took her out to the ramen stand. Also The Third probably never guilt trip on Iruka about how much her life was similar to his so he never go close to her either. So she is truly alone and never had anyone there for her or give her kindness which is why when Sakura did it she got so angry cause she never had anyone ever give her a handout for anything. Because of the whole the village is constantly at war I don’t think they appreciate a little girl pulling pranks, and if she did she was probably severely punished with no old man too bail her out. So she never had the ability to act out like Naruto did. Which means she had to still in class of be punished so she probably smarter than the main story Naruto if nothing else is positive. During the bell test she actually had a plan that worked where Naruto is better at spur of the moment type of things. I also think they just gave her the sword training because they had to give her some sort of extra training like everyone else (and they needed their weapon not just to die in it first battle) but they didn’t want to interact with her so what better than sword training.
| Yuri-Hime-Chan chapter 3 . 11/23/2012
Well it is a good start, and well thought out, a working plot, and decent suspense. There is a believeability to it that makes me want more and I hope to see it.
| Blue chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
A Amazing great Fanfiction keep up the good work I can't wait to read more.
| skywiseskychan chapter 3 . 11/20/2012
This story is really interesting. I like the changes a village at war have inspired into the story and am very much looking foward to seeing more build out of it.
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/16/2012
So is this story gtoing to get any more chapters?
| HikariNiwa chapter 3 . 10/30/2012
I rather like this. I just hope it doesn't end as Yuri.
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/29/2012
Huh this was good hope it continues good luck
| They call me Bruce chapter 3 . 10/27/2012
| Allintha chapter 3 . 10/24/2012
Very impressive, well worded and thoughout. First work of yours that ive read and im already a big fan. Keep up the amazing work.
| Mr Fahrenheit chapter 3 . 10/24/2012
Please keep up the good work. Every time I've read the bell test or really most of the series beginning in other stories my eyes tend to glaze over and I start skimming, but this has pretty much got me invested from the word go. Please update whenever you can. I'd also really like to see that [Possible Yuri later] turn into just plain Yuri.
| YuzukiP chapter 3 . 10/24/2012
The grammatical errors are starting to annoy me... Umm... and at some point in the begining You wrote her name as Naruto
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/24/2012
Another good chapter. Furthered proving that Sakura is beginning to care for Naruko while Sasuke is going the other direction. This is truly one of the first fics I read where Naruto just given up and make him/herself mercy to his despair.
This story is going good so far. Good to see Itachi hasn't gone rogue, but Sasuke still acts like arrogant and prideful. Kakashi and Itachi are probably looking at Nauko's because he's the daughter of the Fourth Hokage or she's the holder of the fox.
I can't wait to read more into Sakura's and Nauko's relationship development. You need to explain the ages of graduation!
| fanficreader71 chapter 3 . 10/24/2012
Great chapter, I enjoyed reading it and I will be looking forward to reading your next update