|Reviews for The Monster Within|
| LoneTraveler chapter 1 . 11/18/2015
Wow, just wow. You went where angels fear to tread, and described it by showing us what goes on in Bellatrix's head. The mixed up monstrous horror of it all. Whew.
FYI, here are a couple little oops, stuff like this is a bit distracting, but not too many, so it didn't take too much from the story. I didn't read your story like an editor, these just stuck out to me.
Coldness seems - Coldness seeps
It feels so god - It feels so good
She fells claustrophobic - She feels claustrophobic
| Nellie Potter chapter 1 . 5/30/2013
So creepy and detailed and amazing!
| SilverVolpe chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
I absolutely loved this. You portrayed the misery and torment of the place perfectly and I love how you blurred the line between memories and present. I loved your characterisation of Bella, how you made her human and complex and not just some insane two dimensional character. It's just brilliant.
There are a few spelling mistakes, this is nitpicking at its finest, but you asked, so...
"...screamed at him, talked about him in distain." It should be "with disdain", not "in distain" and in the next paragraph, it should be "more than ever", not "then".
Other than that very minor and very pedantic nitpick, I couldn't find any other spelling errors.
But once again, this is a fantastic piece of writing, I'm not sure when the last time I raved so much about a fic.