Reviews for StarGate: Legacy
Sciencefictionsquirrel chapter 3 . 11/8/2012
First of all, I agree with one of your other reviewers regarding punctuation and proper grammar, both of which are distinctly lacking in this story, to the point where, in my opinion, it is almost illegible.
Secondly, I find it hard to believe some of the basic elements of this story, such as the kids being raised on Atlantis. You've given them more than enough power to dial Earth, and yet the story plays out as though they've been completely isolated from Earth. I find it hard to believe that Earth would be okay with raising kids in what amounts to a war zone when they can do something about it.
Thirdly, I don't think the degree of cultural alteration you're depicting could occur in the space of a single generation. It would, reasonably, take at least three or four, and that's an optimistic guess.
That being said, this story has potential, and you have potential as a writer. I want to make it clear that this review is not a flame. I am attempting to provide you with constructive criticism, despite the overall apparent negativity of the review. I understand being an inexperienced writer; in fact, I look at some of my early fanfics and can't help but marvel at how far I've come. I know that you can also get better. That's why I'm giving you this review; to try and help.
romanhellhound chapter 3 . 11/8/2012
Just came across your story, I like the hyperspace window turned mirror (classic SG-1). I would like to see where this is going to go.
Sable Cold chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
Learning to punctuate might help. Cut up your paragraphs into smaller sentences. It's really hard to read a sentence that stretches over 3 lines.
FAN101 chapter 2 . 10/31/2012
you got me curious, keep going