|Reviews for Swifter Than The Day|
| Peregrin Took the Falcon chapter 1 . 5/11
That was so sad...one really feels sorry for the man, stuck behind in Arda like that and forced to watch his love forget him.
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
I find the subject of this poem very intriguing. I thought initially that this is going to be written from the Elf perspective. I think that it is an interesting take to read about the feelings of the perspective of the diseased rather than the grieving spouse.
It has a nice rhythm to it. You paid attention to the internal structure with appropriate number of syllables in most lines. The rhymes are carefully chosen and do not feel forced.
I really like the imagery evoked by this poem. You can easily picture the grave and how it would like after being forgotten for many years. It evokes feelings of sadness and loss in the reader.
| LornaWinters chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
I thought it was beautiful and sad, with an ethereal kind of quality to it! Thanks for writing!
| Morgaur chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
Awww...sad. Though - sorry, but my mind sometimes does odd things - I can't help bu twonder how it will sound being sung through seven feet of earth...ahem.
I feel for that guy, I really do. Not nice being alone, or being forgotten. I should know - well, about being alone, anyway.
I like the meter. It works. That's my opinion, anyway. Not that I would actually know, though - I have no clue about meter or any of the technicalities. I just write poetry, rhyming or not. But I can appreciate good poetry, even though I can't really write anything good.
Way to go!
| Mornen chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
The only thing that I would like to point out about this poem is that in some places the syllable count was off: "Once I laughed, and again you sang;
Sunlight danced, and all the shadows rang."
It could easily be switched to: "Once I laughed, and again you sang;
Sunlight danced, and shadows rang."
Or the lines below those: "Now the moon shines icy on your face,
Withered flowers, torn and tattered lace."
Which could be switched to something like: "Now the moon shines ice upon your face,
Withered flowers, tattered lace."
To keep the metre.
Suggestions: "Tall oaks grow where you laid my grave,
Left me cold in the whisp'ring shade.
Oh my love, as you turn away,
Pearls bleed silent into gray."
"Autumn comes, and the swaying trees
Rusty shine, and their sighing leaves
Paint the world in splendor, I was told;
I see blood and crimson, never gold."
"Gray rain falls, quenching all the light,
Red leaves drown in the endless night.
Formless candles twine a crown for me;
King of sorrow, Lord of memory."
"Years run on, swifter than the day,
I first saw the singing shadows play
Copper-gold, the fire hanging there:
Light caught forever in your hair."
That being said, I loved this poem. I loved how sad it was. The subject isn't one that I would have thought of on my own, but an Elf forgetting a Mortal who loved her is a fascinating thing to think about.
It was a wonderful style. I couldn't help but love the rhythm that it created. It seemed to be just the right length, and I adored how it was in the perspective of the dead man caught somehow in Arda.
Some of my favourite lines: "Oh, my love; lonely is the grave.
Keep the gift that the water gave:"
"Formless candles twine a crown for me;
King of sorrow, lord of memory."
They are so deep in their lament. And this poem itself was very deep and sensitive. I found myself wanting to know more about these two.