|Reviews for A Reflection in Pink and Blue|
| Crystal Dew chapter 2 . 7/7/2013
I am usually not good at reviews, but; all this non-vague vagueness? Recognizing people's tendency to side with the protagonist and trying to deflect that notion? Top-notch elements done well, MessengerOfDreams.
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 2 . 2/6/2013
I love that this is from Nana’s perspective. I loved her point of him leaving when times got tough. That’s interesting. We didn’t really see that in his perspective. I love how you show they were both hurt. It was a really good call to do two sides to one story. So, Popo put her on a pedestal. That’s a really nice perspective. I love when it talked about how he gutted her. That was really sad. The part about “Oh, poor Atlas…” Lovely line. Really, really nice. I love it. I still wonder what she did that he can’t forgive. However, I really love the ending. The fact she says it’s okay and that he’s just as flawed as she is, is really amazing. That really shows her character. I really liked this. Great job!
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 2/6/2013
How do you write so much in so little time? Are you kidding me! I heard you wrote You Hand in Mind in less than an hour. You are a beast! What is wrong with you!
I really liked what was going on in this. It was very interesting to see it through Popo's (I'm almost positive that's the blue one) perspective. It was really neat to see all the ways he was blinded. I loved how you slowly unraveled the person and world he thought he knew. I want to know a bit more of the dialogue. I'm wondering what was said and what they heard.
| RedheadedMarina chapter 1 . 11/14/2012
The image that comes to my mind for what you've done here is this: you've stripped away the extraneous elements, and presented truth through a story. I read this, and I feel that I am Blue, because this has happened to me (and I'm sure most other people).
Your imagery is achingly beautiful, as always. (And of course, I really love stars.)
Hard to pick out just one line out of all the beauty, but for me, in this story, it's this: "it's changed from reality to a relic." It's an amazingly perfect analogy, since relics are to be cherished, protected, and worshipped-for what they REPRESENT.
Another amazing job. Thanks. :)
| Empress Nightshade chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
-I like this second part. And it really does help bring the piece together as a whole. Also, the blue side seems a lot more depressed than the pink side. When I read this chapter I was filled with emotions more similar to betrayal and scorn. Really good job.
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
im guessing this won't have a happy ending?
| Empress Nightshade chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
-Good job. This has a really nice flow and emotional voice to it. The variation in the different lengths of sentences you used and how you spaced them out really made a great impact. It could actually work as poem.
| The Death Frisbee chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
Hey Cam! Since I think you trust my judgment, here goes:
The writing is crisp and clear here; you're keeping the good tone that you found over the summer; it's not needlessly complex or convoluted. I don't know the theme, but I get the image of two people, blue-male and pink-female, on the same wavelength but stuck in a society that doesn't like or understand them. If there's anything about the theme that I need to get beyond this, I'm not sure what it is, but I don't feel that there are any gaps that canonical knowledge would be needed to fill.
As far as critiques on this, since you seem uncertain on it, there are two issues that I can pinpoint that you may want to take a look at:
* Repetitiveness. A lot of times the phrases repeat themselves: 'I loved you. I loved you in a way that' for instance. It's effective at points ('That you had. That you did.') but the effectiveness loses some punch when almost every paragraph has one of these repetitions. The edit here is easy - just keep the repetitions that work, that add more information /due to the fact that they're repeated/, and get rid of the ones that don't work.
* Tense shift. It's not a grammatical error (of which you only have one-ish that isn't even really one, so well done there!). It's just a confusing time frame. You go from recent past, to historical past (the rumors), to present, and I am a bit thrown as far as when things are actually happening. I'd suggest either making the first bit present or making the last bit past, because as it is I'm left at the end of the fic wondering when things actually happened and whether they're still impacting the character. With sentences like 'It's then that I realize... I thought that piece was real' following 'I calmly ask them' and 'I should have given,' I'm a bit adrift as far as the chronology of events.
Hope this makes sense!
loved the stars, then I did - splice-y - not technically a comma splice, but reads like one. Toss an 'and' in there?
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2012
what a sad story, i'll never look at the ice climbers the same way agian
good work, i enjoy your stories on the less popular guys