I'm not to sure if just my phone but the palform 9 and isnt showing up specifically thepart

Is this stereotypical?

Well put together. Very nice. Although Bludgers, Chasers, Captains, etc. should be capitalized

Ohhh, interesting idea. I like this spin on the original story-line. I'll be reading more... Thanks for writing, and pen on!
KVP

How heartbreaking for it to so abruptly end :(

Ugh, not interested in a Harry that is just a weak sidekick to a bigoted bully.

taste for drama indeed

I know that Harry has had no friends, and this is his first chance at that - which is a powerful thing. However, too many times now he has rationalized excuses for his new 'friends' acting terribly against other students from different houses. I wish he would get a bit stronger and see the problem with that. I wonder if he will see what is actually maybe a warning of how he would become in the future, were he to continue his path - magic is not the only power, he already saw the love of his family. And poor Draco - clearly in this fic, his father loves him, but his mother, not so much.

A great start to this story!

This is wonderful! I like the story concept.

Lovely story. all the characters are in character yet still manage to move along together. I'm worried for Harry and can't wait for the next installment.

This is a great little story. Well-written and concise.

I think the author did an excellent job with a Slytherin Harry, brave, intelligent, ambitious, willing to overlook a little bullying in the name of House unity but taking a stand when it counts.

Draco come across as an arrogant prat, but clever and brave irrespective of that. The authors does a good job of suggesting hidden depths.

Ron and Hermione are well realized. The tension between Draco and Ron is ever present, even if they unite for a common goal. Two sides of the same coin. Hermione’s relationship with Harry, a mix of respect and affection, is well done, especially after portraying a rocky start.

Well done.

Typo right off the bat”

“Harry’s aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon often forced Harry do...”
Should be:
Harry’s aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon often forced Harry to do...”

There were actually three or so other ones, but I’m sorry, I’m multi tasking atm, so I couldn’t really keep track.

Aside from that, very solid chapter. I am eager to see if Harry follows Snape’s warning.

Two typos off the bat.
“Bulistrode” is wrong.

And near the end you say:
“...your internal struggles will NOT to bring harm to Slytherin”
That sentence does not make sense. Either “will not bring harm to Slytherin house” or “are not to bring harm to Slytherin house” either of those work.

Aside from that, a fun first chapter. The first two years of this series seem much too short for my liking, since I am sceptical as to whether or not you can accomplish enough to keep readers interested in that amount of words, but this is a good start. Pansy is rather curious, if nothing else.

All the best,
ACI100

I read everything in one go, the changes are fun and the plot changed, but it was still the same adventure we remember. To be honest I think Harry was stupid in canon for going across traps to ‘protect’ something warded by accomplishes witches and wizards. I’m pretty sure they’re not that incompetent, plus I doubt Quirrel would’ve been able to get the stone from the mirror regardless if anyone tried to stop him. I think it was sweet that Harry went in this time because we wanted to prove Snape’s innocence, it’s always nice to remember those first few years. Thanks for taking the time to write this!