|Reviews for The Inbetween|
| FierceDeityLinkMask chapter 15 . 11/4
Why is harry constantly showing horrific personal memories to people he just met? It is slightly stupid that something that takes trust to open up with to someone can easily be shown because "plot convenience!"
| FierceDeityLinkMask chapter 9 . 11/4
Hermione's ancestry does not rival harry's as Harry canonically is a perevell!
| reinforced hell chapter 7 . 9/18
I don't hing it is a good idea for you to mention that you wrote it at work... Just a suggestion.
| Guest chapter 27 . 7/19
| BinarySobriquet chapter 5 . 6/9
So 9 year old Harry is more mentally powerful than Snape, Dumbledore and Riddle. And all it took was a bit of training by Mr. OC-Who-Appears-Out-Of-Nowhere-To-Give-Harry-Knowledge-And-Training-And-A-Super-Wand-For-No-Explained-Reason-And-Then-Vanishes-Completely.
Gods dammit, another familiar? Really? What exactly is this supposed to be adding to the story? Because from my perspective, it looks like you're just pulling cliches out of orifices and piling them on because you want your protagonist to be as super and awesome and powerful as possible.
Oh look. Now Harry is so powerful, he doesn't really need any sort of training to use magic. Wandless magic, permanent transfiguration, silent casting, motionless wand casting, etc. Why bother with Hogwarts when Harry can just read a textbook and then cast sixth and seventh year spells?
"Wow, Mr. Magic Man, that was an impressive display. We'll totally let you take our ten year old daughter without any demonstration of your trustworthiness. It isn't like we actually care about her or have any concern about strangers abducting her or anything like that."
Sorry, but I can't read this any further. Things will just continue to go downhill from here. Soon Harry will have eleven familiars to show he's awesomer than Merlin, gain a phoenix animagus form because he's just that super powerful and awesome, get turned into a sparklepire because those are just so kewl that he has to have that too, form a harem of prepubescent girls at the age of ten because the author doesn't know how sex and puberty work, have a manhood big enough to derail the Hogwarts Express because Harry can't be small like [insert characters the author dislikes], and redeem Snape with the power of Love because he's just that amazing.
| BinarySobriquet chapter 3 . 6/9
Making Harry vastly more mature than his age strains credulousness, but that's not so great as to be inexcusable. He's an emotionally damaged genius that uses logic to make sense of the world and avoid dealing with his issues.
Giving Harry a broad spectrum of wandless magic causes my willing suspension of disbelief to groan under the strain. Yes, Riddle was using wandless magic as a kid, but it wasn't depicted as overwhelmingly powerful. You could have carried your story up until this point by giving Harry four abilities (Fire, Summoning, Cleaning and Apparation) and saying he needed a wand for anything more advanced.
Making Harry into a super-wizard in addition to being a super-genius is putting things dangerously close to Boring Invincible Hero territory. Giving him a super-special wand makes things even more egregious, pushing things into Mary-Sue territory.
Please don't kill this fic by turning it into a boring power-wank fantasy, things have been kinda interesting up until now. Nobody (with a brain) wants to read about Harry being to heir to everybody the books ever mentioned in passing, with more gold than the rest of the Earth combined, who can make anything magically happen just by wanting it, who faces absolutely no challenges and faffs around for dozens of chapters doing nothing but bashing and abusing characters the author doesn't like.
| Orario chapter 2 . 5/27
My impressions of the first 2 chapters? - freaking brilliant
| thonez chapter 26 . 5/11
As philosopher stone just extract process with pensieve.
Second as you are trying to add real science check for mistakes.
A polonium poisoning has ton of problems. First is instantly vomit, polonium needs hours for absorption.
Then you have problem with dosage. To get that reaction you need lot of polonium. Just presence of cup would cause deadly irradiation to anybody in ten meter radius.
Also it would be catched as muggle poison. Its heavy element and toxic by itself. For nontoxic you should try iodine.
Then that there is no cure and philosopher stone wouldn't work. Simply get some hair. If its damaged beyond repair then also you were irradiated to death and it kills all guests.
| thonez chapter 27 . 5/11
As story goes it has good premise and writing style. Problem is with (lack of) plot, got bored at half and skimmed rest. There is endless useless training, start is copypasta of PS, and you got GRRM bad habit: When you don't know how advance plot introduce new character. This means that plot drags and almost nothing gets resolved.
| thonez chapter 23 . 5/11
As philosopher stone your arguments don't make much sense. Don't making mass-producable philosopher stone makes you murderer. Forest killed millions that died by old age and could be saved. Its same situation like if you were transported to 19 century and make penicillin only for yourself and wife.
Only way to justify destruction is fullmetal alchemist route where you need to sacrifice life to extend life.
As theories go its magic, it could be that it synchronizes every cell DNA according to majority for each base.
Or if you are scientific it could be piece of alien nanotechnology.
Fact is that DNA replication sucks as natural selection generated only good enough solution, telomers are lousy one. There are several possibilities. Best would be improved replicator that also computes CRC checksum and copying is redoed until checksums match. Other solution would be cell identifiers. When cell divides then one copy appends 0 to chromosome while other appends 1, discarding first 256 bits on 512 bit size. Then you have killer immune cells/nanobots that could be instructed to kill all descendants of given cell according to cell ids.
| Saissa chapter 10 . 4/14
You know, it never occurred to me what Ron and Molly would do, or what they were told to do, if for any reason Harry did not show up.
I dont recall this being mentioned in any other fanfic AU - since in almost all of them, Harry still goes to Hoggies. Sometimes he shows up under another name.
| Saissa chapter 8 . 4/14
What I want to know is - WHO the bloody hell is Ivan?
The rest of the questions you ask will be answered eventually.
You would not have asked them otherwise.
| Saissa chapter 7 . 4/14
OK I'll ignore the non canon laptops since I do want to enjoy the story...
So far it's very good.
| Saissa chapter 5 . 4/14
Assuming that you are sticking with the canon timeline, Hermione was born in 1980 and Harry in 1981. Since Harry is 9 years old, and it is January, the year is now 1991. While laptops were around in the early 1990's, they were large and bulky and did not have a lot of RAM of HD space.
I'm pretty sure that the kind of laptop Hermione is referring to, does not exist.
| Guest chapter 4 . 2/16
Personally I thout the oclumency/legimancy or whatever it was was pretty cool. I don't think I've read a fanfic that put it in such a detailed and entertaining way.