|Reviews for 100 Moments of Magic|
| starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
I'm fandom blind on this one, I'm afraid, though I did read up on it on Wikipedia to try and understand it better.
I really like the way you've started off this drabble, with the sudden infusion of hope into Balthazar's life. I like how you've mentioned that it was also [maybe a little dangerous.] Considering what happens to him for the next ten years, it's a fitting realisation, and apart from that, it also helps to add a bit of tension and mystery to the drabble.
[deep in their bones, but after more than a thousand years...]
This sounds like he can feel the weather generally but he's suddenly feeling magic. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to convey - maybe something like [deep in their bones. It wasn't the change in the weather he felt, but instead, after more than a thousand years, the change in levels of magic.]
[Silently as a shadow...]
Your mileage on this may vary, but this sounded a little odd to me. Maybe [As silent as shadow...]?
I really like the sense of danger and mystery that you've managed to put into your description of the shop. I particularly liked the bit about the genie lamp, and how it might have worked, but it definitely wouldn't have released a genie that the boy wanted to deal with.
I find it really ironic that the Ming vase shows up here and nearly shatters, causing Balthazar to reflect on the damage it could cause - all the while not knowing exactly where he's going to end up living for the next ten years...
[1,300 years ago...]
Again, your mileage may vary on this one, but I think writing out the numbers works better [thirteen hundred years...]
I really like the way that Balthazar thinks about how the Easter Bunny is a tradition that showed up [some years ago.] It's a nice reminder to reader of just how long he's been waiting for the Prime Merlinian to show up that even the Easter Bunny seems like a recent tradition to him.
This was a nice little drabble - well done! :)
| Edhla chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
Oi, where are the other 99? :D This is great, and I'm canon-blind, even.
"Something different" - YES. Every writing manual I've ever seen demands you start on the day that is different. Really nicely done here, especially when you then hint at danger.
Your mileage may vary, but if this were mine (and I'm aware it isn't :p) I would consider putting a period after "bones" and then starting the next sentence with "After".
Very nice descriptor of someone reading something they know by heart, for something to do - I recognise it and I love when I recognise stuff in fiction :)
The contrast between ancient Han Dynasty wives and plain stranger danger was really cleverly made.
I have no idea what the Primer Merlinian is, but Balthazar's ineractions with the boy are fascinating (I cannot help myself in thinking of the Neverending Story, but that's a good thing here!)
Lovely, beautiful writing xx MOAR PLZ.
| 44Lefty chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Is the next entry going to be when Balthazar rescued Dave from Horvath at the subway station?
| dsklghaweusdvf chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
This is pretty cool! Hope you continue it!
| Bookworm Gal chapter 1 . 11/13/2012
A very nice glimpse of events from Balthazar's viewpoint. I think this is definitely a believable explanation for his thought-process when he first meets Dave. Keep up the great work on all of your stories. Good luck.
| shadowofthephoenix7 chapter 1 . 11/4/2012
I like it, but one question, what is the Balthy 100 chalange?
| The Last One Left 0 chapter 1 . 11/3/2012