Reviews for The Fall of Normandy
Tyranbae chapter 3 . 10/21/2020
I don't like how you bend the rules so much for Tali's convenience. That feels very forced.
The clean room idea is self-contradictory. If Tali has to shower herself or brush teeth, it means there is bacteria on her body that needs cleaning. In that case she'd just get sick because she gets infected even if the bacteria only touches her skin. That's what her suit is there for. Moreover, a clean room is not optimal because even the smallest trace of bacteria can affect her. The Quarians on the Flotilla still have to wear their suits even though their ships are as clean as they can be. That's because it's still never safe.
And you have a wrong idea of the effects of bacteria on Quarians. If they walk around without suits they die in a few minutes. Even a small suit rupture is life threatening, especially if not treated immediately. Not what you say with Quarians having like an hour of time and be completely safe still.

And finally, another reason why I don't like it is because it makes the time when she leaves her suit for Shepard, as an example, much less special. It's meant only for extremely special occasions like the linking of suit environments of the most trusted friends and family and even among them, only a select few. So when she does that for Shepard, it's meant to be a unique moment. You kind of ruin that magic.

And then there's also stuff like that Quarian food Shepard brought for Tali. I mean, I get behind the idea that it exists but not that Shepard just gets it out of nowhere. I don't think Shepard would even know that it exists much less where to get it so he probably wouldn't bother looking for it. Not to mention, why didn't he give it to her during dinner? Feels a lot like you are forcing ways to have Shepard talk to Tali. Not very fun to read.
ThunderbladeN chapter 21 . 6/18/2020
Excellent. This story personalizes the characters in a nice way, and manages to have a solid plot while doing it.
Ebonslayer chapter 21 . 12/18/2019
I don't think I've enjoyed Mass Effect fanfiction this much since reading Adamo. The quality of the writing itself is amazing, you managed to give everyone a personality friendly with the game, and it was filled with both humor and seriousness in generous amounts while being careful with placement so neither feels too out of place.

I also heavily enjoy when a good story gets creative with events in the game or add their own when they make sense (this does, for the most part).
Pteaset chapter 2 . 9/12/2018
It’s been a while since I’ve read the story but whenever I saw a new chapter posted I thought I’d go all the way back to the beginning and start again
Pteaset chapter 1 . 9/12/2018
10 of 10
TheLastReckoning chapter 21 . 10/3/2016
Just finished reading The Fall of Normandy, and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I loved the interactions between Shep and Tali, the AU Collector attack, and the flashback sequences. Overall great story, thank you for writing it!
magnusvictor chapter 10 . 9/30/2016
Wow. That was a much better Virmire scene than canon. Well done!
Wierdo chapter 1 . 6/22/2016
So I just finished this story; loved it. But one thing kept bugging me. Thermal clips didn't come out till ME2, by which time they had been reversed engineered from geth tech, but you have them being used during on Noveria and else were. If you could would be willing to explain why you chose to do this I would be very interested. Thanks
Jayha85 chapter 8 . 5/6/2016
Compelling story. Definitely some interesting potential with the alternate Collectors encounter. There's a few things I would want to offer as constructive feedback. Don't rely too heavily on expletives to convey emotion in dialogue. Eventually it starts to lose it's impact completely. Also try to keep your characters from constantly saying each other's names. When you're having a normal conversation with someone you wouldn't normally reiterate who you're talking to while you're still talking to them. In both cases a bit can add punch but too much can make the dialogue tedious. Last would be to try and avoid restating the same thing twice. For example describing part of a scene and then having a character describe that same scene again. Dialogue is one of the hardest parts of writing and one pretty much all of us need to try really hard at to make it feel natural. Keep up the good work!
force200 chapter 1 . 1/24/2016
Quarians only have three fingers. You made a litle mistake there.
Janizary chapter 21 . 6/9/2015
Ack. You cannot do that twice in a row. It is not permitted.

Needs tissues now.
Kellise chapter 21 . 6/5/2015
Well that was tearful. Amazing story, looking forward to the next one!
coastierks chapter 21 . 6/1/2015
Great ending to a great story.
1054SS325MP chapter 19 . 5/21/2015
Yikes! Such a cliffhanger and I can't wait for the next chapter, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to read it. I feel so bad for Tali.
Kellise chapter 19 . 5/21/2015
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