NOICE!

Noice

just binged through this whole story and?/ wtf? you can tell how much of a loser the author is irl w the way harry is personalized fucking cunt shit

Eh, a muscular 10 . By his own accord no less. I can belive in magic, I can't belive in that

Bro a Dao is a Chinese sword not the name for a Chinese dojo

What is up with these creepy Authors sticking one guy with five females to have sex with?

Are these Authors overcompensating for being losers in real life and a total inability to get someone for themselves and possessed of some emotional immaturity that they think one guy banging five chicks is "cool"?
Methinks this Author is lacking quite a lot in real life and could probably do with some mental health support.

What’s a dao? I don’t think it’s what you think it is.

That's not how exercise works, but like eh. CrossFit is a thing I guess.

great story!

Wtf is a Dao? That is not any kind of dojo, dunno what it is either but defo not that

Really enjoyed reading this story! Liked your Harry’s personality and character.

I love how Harry pulled a battle of gods and just came back to life just to pass out again.

dump daphne! If you write her to automatically treat people like dirt then take her out !

No that is very much not stated in your summary since there is no summary

(For context, I’m writing this as I read through the chapter and revising as necessary)
To begin with, what is the reasoning behind putting the flashbacks in first person? We know it’s Harry having the flashbacks, both because he’s still the POV character in the rest of the chapter and because we know his history, so it can’t be to keep the character whose memory it is anonymous. The rest of the chapter is inside Harry’s head, so it’s not as if the memories represent a rare opportunity to gain insight into his thoughts and feelings. The only possible reasoning I can think of is that it’s some sort of stylistic flourish where the flash backs are separate from the actual narrative we’re following. That clearly wasn’t the case in the first chapter, although it does seem to be here, which is jarring all on its own. If not for the first chapter, it could be an indication that the story as a whole is being told after it’s eventual resolution, with Harry simply remembering events that transpired and the flashbacks being memories intruding on ‘current’ Harry as he thinks over his youth. As it is, it’s just baffling and intrusive.
On an unrelated note, I must admit that this story would’ve received an even more uncharitable reading before I realised I have aphantasia. The whole ‘eidetic memory, I can just look at a page and memorise everything on it’ thing made absolutely no sense to me before I realised that normal people can actually see things in their head, and would therefore be able to read words off a page they could see in their memory. I still don’t think memorising a page by looking at it would give you any actual knowledge on its own though. Surely, even if you can see the page perfectly in your head, you don’t know everything on it until you actually read the words. The same way having a book sitting open in front of you doesn’t mean you instantly read every word on the pages you can see. At some point he’d have to bring the page up in his memory, actually read the words, and absorb the information contained therein. The speed of reading is limited by the ability of the brain to process the information, while high intelligence (and being a fast reader) often correlates with a good memory, having an excellent memory does not inherently make one a fast reader. It’s why denser reading takes longer than light reading, and is where the terminology originates from.
Overall, I think the very concept of this story stems from a common misconception that recollection equals understanding. I was taught a prayer in Hebrew (long story) without ever actually learning what any of it meant. I can still recall and recite the words, but I couldn’t tell you what any of it means or actually use those words to have a conversation with someone. Being able to remember everything perfectly doesn’t mean you understand all of it or can use that knowledge effectively. It’s the ‘why’s that constitute actual knowledge far more than the ‘what’s. While having a perfect memory would certainly help speed up learning, it wouldn’t be enough to make someone a genius all on it’s own. In the story, Harry is quite clearly presented to be a genius independent of his memory, which is fine, but the repeated implication that his memory alone is what makes him a genius is a little irritating.
Ah, we’ve reached the next instance of casual sexism, with a dash of implied homophobia to top it off, how lovely. “Sometimes when a girl wanted to ask a boy something, they’d get all shy and demure like this. It was only when they wanted something from a boy, however,” because, of course, all girls act in exactly the same way around someone they like, are attracted to all boys, and are never attracted to anyone who is not a boy. Not to mention that they’re all manipulative and have to rely on boys to do things for them because they’re girls and obviously incapable of doing things for themselves, that goes without saying.
I do have to make mention of just how incredibly well thought out and realised the character of Lisa is, I feel like I really understand her character traits. Both of them. Her “being attracted to Harry” trait is just so beautifully and believably expressed, and her “silly girl who only likes girly stuff like kissing and romance novels and thinks boy stuff like fighting and learning is boring” trait is just so unique and fascinating I find myself desperate to see more of her.
I was excited when a time skip cut off having dinner with the Crawfts, foolishly thinking that, since it’s completely irrelevant to the overall plot, we were being spared having to waste our time reading about it. I should have known that it was just so there would be more time to spend having Harry narrate how the dinner went without actually interacting with another living being. Why does it matter they talked about Hook? Let alone that it’s a fantasy tale about Peter Pan, or that it stars Robin Williams? Are we going to be forced to sit through them actually watching the movie? Is Robin Williams as Peter Pan going to deliver Harry’s Hogwarts letter? To learn that, as much as everything else about Harry’s portrayal seems to indicate that he’s a high-functioning sociopath who’s merely learned how to mimic normal behaviour, he actually does care about his friend? If Harry seeming like a sociopath was intentional that’d be an acceptable reason, but I highly doubt that’s the case.
The time skip narration here could’ve been pretty much the entire story up to this point apart from a brief scene with Lisa and Master Wei. Hell, unless Lisa actually remains as a muggle and plays some sort of significant role in the rest of the story, you could just delete the first one and a half chapters of this story, rework the bits about Master Wei (who Harry now calls Master Chang because he’s feeling like a different level of formality I guess…?) and you’d be good to go.
On the whole, I’m sticking with my same criticism of the story splitting exposition and character interaction/advancing the plot into two distinct parts. Beating all the expository information into the reader’s head makes it feel like a lecture instead of a story, and the plot advancement/character interaction not including any new information stops any of the developments from being interesting or engaging. Because the reader has sat through two chapters making it perfectly clear that Harry remembers everything about his parents, is aware of magic, and is waiting for his Hogwarts letter, it’s not surprising or interesting when he isn’t surprised by the letter and thinks about his parents having attended. Rather than being a moment of “Whoa, what!? Harry knew the letter was coming and knows about his parents going there!?” it’s “finally, we can move onto Hogwarts where hopefully Harry won’t just be pontificating about already knowing everything the whole time.” It’s like explaining a joke to someone and then trying to tell it to them, it’s not funny because they already know how it goes.