Reviews for Fifty Shades Brighter
truefeather77 chapter 18 . 6/16/2014
Oh, definitely, definitely look into screenwriting! I moved from NYC to LA, because I want to do the same thing, but from the standpoint of development. If you come out here, you have to look me up! You're a wonderful storyteller, and you were born for this.

I love that Christian just volunteered to help her move – I always thought it was so cold, in the books, that his brother was there helping and he wasn't. So why can he not send someone to an airport to pick up his sister?

And how can he expect her to let him hit her, when she's sore from moving lots of boxes, and has job interviews the next day? He was always so completely inconsiderate of everything about her, in the books. I'm glad you're departing from that here.
truefeather77 chapter 17 . 6/16/2014
Ch 17
Excellent chapter. I think we need to see the dynamic between Christian and Elena in order to understand him better, and I love that you're making us understand him better.

I also believe that Elena was lying – that she knew she gone too far when she violated his limits and disregarded his safe word, and was afraid of what might happen, so she came back with the lies about being sorry.
truefeather77 chapter 16 . 6/16/2014
Ch. 16
You should be writing all the time! You certainly do it very well, and it should be a big part of your life from now on. Or probably already has been, since you're so good at it.

I loathe the fact that Christian is going straight to Elena after hearing that Ana is a virgin – but it seems totally appropriate. Waiting with horror to find out what she makes of it. And if she offers to help, I think I'll puke!
truefeather77 chapter 14 . 6/16/2014
I like there being an insight into Christian's first experience with Elena. We need to see how truly she was and is a predator.

And what a sinister touch! To be doing this to him in his mother's own office. Presumably she was jealous at Grace's anniversary present, and she's doing this to show her contempt of the people who are supposedly her friends.

That's the part that always sickened me the most about her – she would seek out a child who had already been harmed and abused, because she can just poke all the old wounds, and break him completely. Hadn't he been through enough?
truefeather77 chapter 13 . 6/16/2014
Ch 13
I'm enjoying your story, and sorry that my reviews before must've appeared as "guest". I didn't realize I wasn't logged in. But you probably recognize them from my tone.

I love you giving us Christian's thoughts – it makes him so much more understandable. That's one thing that is not like the original story, and not like most romance stories – they don't make the hero a character, he's just a cardboard cutout. You make him very human, worthy of compassion,

With this chapter, though, I have to say I have the same problem is with the original – I don't understand why Ana would be considering this, especially so much sooner. I didn't even understand why she agreed in the books, even after a lot more of his subtle manipulation and she's experienced in the story.

But I love that you taking this in a different direction, I can't wait to see how it goes.
truefeather77 chapter 12 . 6/16/2014
Ch 12
Contrary to your doubts, this chapter turned out just perfect. All your changes seem to make things better. I love that your Ana has an inner balance so profound that she's able to ask this question at this moment. The perfect time, too, because Christian was caught off guard. Nicely done.
truefeather77 chapter 11 . 6/16/2014
Ch 11
Consistently excellent. I love the part about Christian feeling awkward because he never had to explain his expectations to someone who didn't already know.

About the A/N: I found your insight into Christian in the first couple of chapters not redundant and all – I thought yours was better and made me fear him less like him more.
Guest chapter 10 . 6/16/2014
Ch 10
Wow! What a perfect dynamic - I loved that you had Elena come down to Portland. That's perfect! The fact that Christian even let her, and did not bite her head off, indicates how totally he is still her submissive. I always thought as I read the books that his whole life since Elena was one long suspension scene - he got caught up in her toils, and had never fought his way free. The fact that he's running tame on a leash at her side, is her trophy for having broken him as a child – the reward of a successful pedophile. Well done.
chatterbox33 chapter 24 . 6/16/2014
nedbella chapter 24 . 6/16/2014
I have tears running down my cheeks. You write emotions so well I feel them. This story is getting better and better.
Guest chapter 9 . 6/16/2014
Ch 9
This was brilliant! It's so good to have Christian's POV for a change, and yours is better than any I've encountered. You make him appealing and vulnerable, *human*, and not as predatory. He's seeking healing without even being aware of it. I have one hope that he will flash back a little to what he felt as he lay there and watched an innocent sleeping deeply, unaware of the danger she was in.

Loved the part about him thinking that most first dates don't end in someone being afraid to even kiss goodbye, or first sleepovers, with one of them unconscious. Hilarious!

And his thought processes are a perfect mix of someone who's used to being in absolute control, but who now feels as self-conscious as a child.
Guest chapter 5 . 6/16/2014
Ch 5
Love the way you get into his head, and love the way you're making him a tad more forgivable and actually endearing.
Guest chapter 3 . 6/16/2014
I liked the interview with Dr. Flynn. They're both in character, and it emphasizes why I agree with Ana - he's an expensive quack. Some of what he says is good, but I think he's way too permissive in telling Christian everything is okay. He's not okay, he's on the verge of taking an innocent and trying to break her the way he was broken, when he was an innocent. Christian's so-called "needs" are not needs it all – they are compulsions. He doesn't choose them, they choose him. And he's about to cross a line.

Christian was wise enough to know that and have some qualms about it. Flynn should, too.
Guest chapter 2 . 6/16/2014
Chapter 2 and still loving it. I loved the thing about Ella calling him Baby, and the man Baby. Wonderful. And I think you're the only author I've seen so far who has mentioned the kind of chaos and confusion that would be in his mind from having been witness to his mother having violent sex, on quite a number of occasions.

I love him messing with Andrea's head – we clearly get the subtle picture of someone who's used to being isolated from the world thinks of himself as separate and apart. Very telling.

It continues with him living in his head while he's stalking Ana in the hardware store. His reactions to her are very much in character, and again thrilling with the potential for danger, but also sane enough for me to be rooting for a happy ending. Well done.
Guest chapter 1 . 6/16/2014
I am intrigued! I love the way you capture Christian's thought processes, and his reactions to Anastasia's interview.

Particularly loved his thought about being dangerous if he wasn't reined in, in control.

Best: his discerning that Anastasia would never give up her free will, and at that made her irresistible. Dead on! You made him seem at once less psychotic (more redeemable, eventually), and more dangerous (more intriguing, immediately) - because he smart and self-aware.

I had avoided the story, because I thought it would probably turn out to be too canon – I'm glad that I'm wrong. Your take is fresh and definitely new.
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