Reviews for Fifty Shades Brighter
Kenzie Jennings chapter 18 . 1/20/2016
I absolutely love this story...it is everything I wish was in Fifty Shades of Grey!
phillis.nguyen89 chapter 28 . 1/20/2016
I absolutely love your story! The style of writing, your own plot?! It's been riveting! You've brought color into my life! Lol dramatic I know! I look forward to your updates! So please update soon!
Jmm3785 chapter 28 . 1/20/2016
Wow...great story. I love to see this side of a relationship between Christian and Ana. Please update soon.
truefeather77 chapter 5 . 1/20/2016
Ch 18 I *love* that you had Christian volunteer to help her pack! It seemed so cold and callous in the books, that he would not only not help (Mia couldn't take a cab from the airport? After all, Elliott was there), but he would then demand she show up and assume her duties as his slave (and have an OBGYN on hand to service his livestock), treat her roughly, then take her to meet his parents and try to diddle her under the table. Then get angry at her for nothing, hit her, when she is still sore from moving and has job interviews the next day! And this from someone who avows that it's his duty to be sensitive to her needs? To take care of her?
truefeather77 chapter 4 . 1/20/2016
Ch 20 Re: Detailed sex scenes. I agree with your policy on mechanical, detailed sex scenes. But that's the problem right there: there are details, and then there are details.

I've often scrolled down - the computer version of "fast forward" - through mechanical sex scenes in other stories. In any encounter, it's the emotional component that will make it special and memorable, or even physically intense. This was their first encounter together, and the real first for each of them. That I thought could have been made more of a focus, but especially what was happening in their hearts and minds.

Especially because you do Christian's thoughts brilliantly, and I would love to have known your take on this experience for him.

This was CG's first "date", and you had in an earlier chapter, Christian had said, "if you had missed out on this, you might resent it." It was his idea to do a wonderful, hearts-and-flowers night for her. Brilliant! Especially because it was also poignantly revealing of Christian's own unconscious feeling of being robbed, of wondering what it would have been like if he had had a normal high school experience, and had someone his own age validating him, accepting him, etc.

So he wanted to give this to Ana - so she can feel wooed, courted, special, etc.

But it would backfire on him, because in 'giving' this to Ana, he's also giving it to himself - he's just given himself prom night. He's given himself the first-time experience he might have wished for, for himself. Hopefully, this will sow seeds of awareness of and resentment for what Elena took from him.

How did it *feel* to him? It wasn't just new for Ana - it was new for Christian, too. Did he find himself liking it more than he could have expected? Did it make him cry a little, wishing he could have found her in high school? Was he shocked, or overwhelmed by having sex when there's a connection - was it different for him when he's looking the girl in the face? When he can't bark out orders and orchestrate every response? Did she surprise him in any way?

How he feels about their "vanilla" sex will have a lot to do with future developments.

And what about Ana? How did she feel about her first sexual experience? There was not much clue about her, during or after, or of him being concerned about that. After all, the whole evening was designed to make it wonderful for her. (So he could later "lead her down a dark path", but who's counting?)

Anyway, thank you for a marvelous story - it's intelligent and insightful, and I'm so glad there's someone else out there who doesn't just fall for the perverted use of language that seems to convince the gullible that "there's no difference between pleasure and pain."
truefeather77 chapter 28 . 1/20/2016
You have a wonderful flair for development and that, coupled with the reassurance about your ultimate intentions, makes this a really fun ride. I'm also glad about your reassurance that you intend to continue the story – especially where you just left us! Christian wanting to take her to the red room for the first time, which should be the best reason for her not to move in with them. Can you imagine that all the time? But Mia just discovered them, no doubt things to Elliott's mouth - this should be very interesting! Please come back soon!
Guest chapter 28 . 1/20/2016
You are doing an amazing job with this story! Just, wow. You are a talented writer. Thanks for not abandoning this!
truefeather77 chapter 15 . 1/19/2016
Your induction scene was brilliant - the glimpse into Christian's thoughts as he's played by the pedophile. The thought of someone posing as a family friend, pumping a loving mother for information (and I've always hated that Grace sang like a canary about all Christian's private traumas!), then slithering around like an infection, waiting for him to become ripe. And raping him, body and soul, in Grace's office? On her gift desk, holding the wedding paperweight? That's seriously twisted.

Trying to post for previous chapters:
I love the points where you're changing the dialogue - never thought the original author was very good at it, at all. I love also that Ana isn't falling right into it. I can't believe, and never could, that a 21-year-old innocent would be drawn to the idea of someone bullying and beating her - that's a sad commentary on someone's sense of self, and would definitely contradict CG's perceptive observation above.

And most of all, I couldn't ever believe their shell-game rhetoric, and the way they pervert language to serve their purpose. Even more I could never believe that there are so many readers on this board who just swallow it hook, line, and sinker. When it comes to BS, I definitely have a gag reflex, LOL, and I'm glad that so far, your Ana is still questioning and not swallowing. :)

Ch 13 I like yours better than the original, so far, but I'm still baffled by Ana's choosing right then to think she'd like to try - after Christian had just shown a hint of how it could be, and why what he does isn't even BDSM. To hit someone in anger, to "punish" them for arbitrary and insignificant things just because you had a bad day and want an outlet, isn't romantic, or sensuous, or erotic - it's neurotic, or psychotic maybe, but still - if he'd be wearing a "wife-beater" shirt, and not Armani, he'd go to jail, and it would be considered domestic violence.

So in that way, it's a little too like the book for me. A situation would be set up with some nice revelation and conflict, all of which gets washed away because Ana - suddenly and mysteriously, with no explanation - utterly capitulates, perhaps discovering her inner bimbo.
Annette 101660 chapter 28 . 1/19/2016
Think I will have to go back and reread this story as I don't recall much about it. After looking at my list of stories I follow this was one of the very first stories I started to follow. Good writing, hope you keep with it now. :)
truefeather77 chapter 10 . 1/19/2016
Ch 10 Grrr! What a great depiction of the parasite keeping her poisoned hooks in her cash-bearing prey! I can't believe someone as bossy as CG can be ordered around like that and not see the ownership and manipulation he's permitting.

And it disgusts me, as always, that he'd talk Anastasia over with Elena Lincoln. But that has to be, in order for her to be disgusted about it, too.
truefeather77 chapter 9 . 1/19/2016
Ch 9 I love the way you give us CG's thoughts - you make him at once more likable and more understandable than he was in the books.

It seems so sad that he feels he must break her to the wheel, must force her into the mold, when everything that delights him about her is that she's real - therefore unpredictable, surprising, intriguing.

I hope you manage to do what I've followed so many stories hoping for - give a different twist to the FSoG stories, and let Ana be "stubborn" enough to remain who she is, and not let CG pound her into the usual mold, force the square peg into the round hole. The key here is not giving in - since his old life was hollow and bored even him - but to lure him out into fresh air and the risks/rewards of a real relationship.
truefeather77 chapter 8 . 1/19/2016
Chapter 8 I must have started this story and lost it, because it's not even sounding familiar to me - Whoopee! So I'm reading it as for the first time. It's wonderful.

I loved this chapter - Christian being introspective. Your Christian is someone I might actually be able to want to succeed and "get the girl."

Loved this, especially: "She was already so much more than any of it - the playroom, the shadows of his past, everything he hated about himself. ... but Anastasia had taken it [his world] from him and handed it back reinvented, replete with new things like jealousy and desire and a sweet kind of uncertainty that was somehow tolerable."

After shooting fish in a barrel - a string of identical women who were paid to say "Yes sir" to everything he commanded, it's wonderful that he's realizing that it's more exciting to have a real live girl - someone who is free to choose or not, someone without a pre-arranged script, a real connection to a warm human being. No wonder he was getting really bored, and the subs weren't doing it for him anymore.

I'm finding this delightful, so far, and am about to delve into more chapters.
LizziePaige chapter 26 . 1/19/2016
And so Christian just stands in a hall full of people and allows himself to be addressed by this person who now deems himself to be his father, and he's ok with that? I really am not getting where you are going with this story, or these relationships. How can he bear to be there with this man who has done untold emotional damage to him, so openly and with such ease?! And he is considering a business discussion with him.

Sorry, but you've totally lost me now. None of this story is adding up in any way, shape or form, it is so totally disjointed with the characters it's not making any sense to me at all.
LizziePaige chapter 25 . 1/19/2016
I am totally lost now. He asks "i need to know if my father was the crack whores pimp" and Elena nods knowingly. (Yet there is no explanation as to how she or Grace knows this.)
Then Christian replies "I always just assumed he was the pimp" and this time she replies "He wasn't".
So, is his father the pimp or not, you've just given us two conflicting responses from Elena. And again...why did he go directly to her?! It seems Christian is indeed still her submissive.
LizziePaige chapter 22 . 1/19/2016
Still reading on, but unfortunately I still can't find much to like about him.
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