|Reviews for Fifty Shades Brighter|
| truefeather77 chapter 15 . 1/19/2016
Your induction scene was brilliant - the glimpse into Christian's thoughts as he's played by the pedophile. The thought of someone posing as a family friend, pumping a loving mother for information (and I've always hated that Grace sang like a canary about all Christian's private traumas!), then slithering around like an infection, waiting for him to become ripe. And raping him, body and soul, in Grace's office? On her gift desk, holding the wedding paperweight? That's seriously twisted.
Trying to post for previous chapters:
I love the points where you're changing the dialogue - never thought the original author was very good at it, at all. I love also that Ana isn't falling right into it. I can't believe, and never could, that a 21-year-old innocent would be drawn to the idea of someone bullying and beating her - that's a sad commentary on someone's sense of self, and would definitely contradict CG's perceptive observation above.
And most of all, I couldn't ever believe their shell-game rhetoric, and the way they pervert language to serve their purpose. Even more I could never believe that there are so many readers on this board who just swallow it hook, line, and sinker. When it comes to BS, I definitely have a gag reflex, LOL, and I'm glad that so far, your Ana is still questioning and not swallowing. :)
Ch 13 I like yours better than the original, so far, but I'm still baffled by Ana's choosing right then to think she'd like to try - after Christian had just shown a hint of how it could be, and why what he does isn't even BDSM. To hit someone in anger, to "punish" them for arbitrary and insignificant things just because you had a bad day and want an outlet, isn't romantic, or sensuous, or erotic - it's neurotic, or psychotic maybe, but still - if he'd be wearing a "wife-beater" shirt, and not Armani, he'd go to jail, and it would be considered domestic violence.
So in that way, it's a little too like the book for me. A situation would be set up with some nice revelation and conflict, all of which gets washed away because Ana - suddenly and mysteriously, with no explanation - utterly capitulates, perhaps discovering her inner bimbo.
| Annette 101660 chapter 28 . 1/19/2016
Think I will have to go back and reread this story as I don't recall much about it. After looking at my list of stories I follow this was one of the very first stories I started to follow. Good writing, hope you keep with it now. :)
| truefeather77 chapter 10 . 1/19/2016
Ch 10 Grrr! What a great depiction of the parasite keeping her poisoned hooks in her cash-bearing prey! I can't believe someone as bossy as CG can be ordered around like that and not see the ownership and manipulation he's permitting.
And it disgusts me, as always, that he'd talk Anastasia over with Elena Lincoln. But that has to be, in order for her to be disgusted about it, too.
| truefeather77 chapter 9 . 1/19/2016
Ch 9 I love the way you give us CG's thoughts - you make him at once more likable and more understandable than he was in the books.
It seems so sad that he feels he must break her to the wheel, must force her into the mold, when everything that delights him about her is that she's real - therefore unpredictable, surprising, intriguing.
I hope you manage to do what I've followed so many stories hoping for - give a different twist to the FSoG stories, and let Ana be "stubborn" enough to remain who she is, and not let CG pound her into the usual mold, force the square peg into the round hole. The key here is not giving in - since his old life was hollow and bored even him - but to lure him out into fresh air and the risks/rewards of a real relationship.
| truefeather77 chapter 8 . 1/19/2016
Chapter 8 I must have started this story and lost it, because it's not even sounding familiar to me - Whoopee! So I'm reading it as for the first time. It's wonderful.
I loved this chapter - Christian being introspective. Your Christian is someone I might actually be able to want to succeed and "get the girl."
Loved this, especially: "She was already so much more than any of it - the playroom, the shadows of his past, everything he hated about himself. ... but Anastasia had taken it [his world] from him and handed it back reinvented, replete with new things like jealousy and desire and a sweet kind of uncertainty that was somehow tolerable."
After shooting fish in a barrel - a string of identical women who were paid to say "Yes sir" to everything he commanded, it's wonderful that he's realizing that it's more exciting to have a real live girl - someone who is free to choose or not, someone without a pre-arranged script, a real connection to a warm human being. No wonder he was getting really bored, and the subs weren't doing it for him anymore.
I'm finding this delightful, so far, and am about to delve into more chapters.
| LizziePaige chapter 26 . 1/19/2016
And so Christian just stands in a hall full of people and allows himself to be addressed by this person who now deems himself to be his father, and he's ok with that? I really am not getting where you are going with this story, or these relationships. How can he bear to be there with this man who has done untold emotional damage to him, so openly and with such ease?! And he is considering a business discussion with him.
Sorry, but you've totally lost me now. None of this story is adding up in any way, shape or form, it is so totally disjointed with the characters it's not making any sense to me at all.
| LizziePaige chapter 25 . 1/19/2016
I am totally lost now. He asks "i need to know if my father was the crack whores pimp" and Elena nods knowingly. (Yet there is no explanation as to how she or Grace knows this.)
Then Christian replies "I always just assumed he was the pimp" and this time she replies "He wasn't".
So, is his father the pimp or not, you've just given us two conflicting responses from Elena. And again...why did he go directly to her?! It seems Christian is indeed still her submissive.
| LizziePaige chapter 22 . 1/19/2016
Still reading on, but unfortunately I still can't find much to like about him.
| LizziePaige chapter 20 . 1/19/2016
This was a much better chapter for me, I just can't enjoy reading a chapter with a Christian/Elena interaction.
| LizziePaige chapter 19 . 1/19/2016
I find it hard to reconcile this Christian as a ruthless businessman as he seems to always be so unsure and troubled by informations and decisions. At least they were having a conversation then, talking back and forth; hopefully it's a start.
| LizziePaige chapter 17 . 1/19/2016
Still despise Elena, and yep, still mind! Their relationship is toxic and for a smart man, he has no common sense and considering how long he's been in counselling he still has no self worth either - just sad.
| Guest chapter 18 . 1/19/2016
I think you are brilliant. Keep it up!
| LizziePaige chapter 16 . 1/19/2016
No, no, noooooooooo! OMG, he's running TO Elena, I presume to tell her that Ana is a virgin. Geez, Ana should have got him to sign a NDA, not the other way around. Sadly, I'm not liking this Christian one little bit, it seems he can't make any decisions without the bitch troll telling him what to do...grrrrrr!
| LizziePaige chapter 14 . 1/19/2016
Oh goodness, this version of his introduction to Elena's lifestyke is just gut wrenchingly sickening :(
| LizziePaige chapter 13 . 1/19/2016
I can't help but feel this is going to be one huge clusterf$&k with Elena still having so much influence over him and that Ana is going to be badly hurt, both physically, emotionally, and possibly mentally as well!