|Reviews for Faded Glory|
| sidekick of a super dog chapter 2 . 8/7/2014
Oh my god
You need to finish this
You can't just leave it at that cliff hanger!
| DeadlyWolfQueen chapter 2 . 6/29/2013
This was another incredible chapter Del. I almost fainted when I checked my mail, excitement overload. Hmm ideas? Well, it could take the route of "A fair maiden locked away in a tower while guarded by a fire-breathing dragon" Type feel. Not exactly that I know. Her becoming his slave, or something to bring her down a bit further. Like, if she was a sign of hope to the people, have Alduin frontally bring her-down in-front of them to show the last bit of hope becoming entrapped by his power.
Well, anyway. I hope an update is near in the future and I hoped that I helped.
| ZerOtodona chapter 2 . 6/28/2013
Rotfl! She spat in his face.. Now those are famous last words there. Good job! I can't wait for the next part.
| Decepticon-silverstreak chapter 2 . 6/26/2013
I love it! The whole ceremony thing was pretty cool, and I cheered when she spat at him. Such a badass. :D
| MetaLucario chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
This chapter is even better than the first. You rock so much! Ok, from here it seems like he will either be outraged, or shocked by her sudden spitting, but who knows. There are many things you could do with this, and a lot of them end on depressing notes, but hey who said stories must have a happy ending? Whatever you may choose I feel that it will be amazing!
| Kurogawa Yumi chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
Uuuh, an update! :D
Even though I have no idea what's going on exactly, I'm pretty sure that was a bad move on her part xD
Loved the chapter though, so exciting!
Do keep it up,
| Hurlstien chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
The first few paragraphs outlining the beginning of Skyrim, what happened at Helgen and where she is now is good. Your readers already know what happened because they've played the game and it would be troublesome going through it all again if there's nothing new you were going to add to it. So getting that out of the way simply and quickly was good.
I enjoyed the strange contrast of her getting her name, and then as soon as she did, she was sent to die. Also, the transition from telling us her past, to the present was pretty seamless too.
[It was almost like that one time she'd tried skooma] I like how she's not a goody-two-shoes, she isn't pure to the core, falling in with the thieves guild in Riften (which I've gotta admit, is one of my favourite guilds in the entire game - I like the uniform too) and not being your typical hero. But I prefer heroes like this, it makes them more real and interesting, someone readers can relate to.
[And like a naive child, she had come running, unaware of the avalanche Fate had waiting, ready crush her.] I like how you've made her quite naive and trusting, doing what the Greybeards say. I wonder if she killed Paathurnax? Or maybe she's not gotten to that bit yet, you may not even include it. But if you did/do I hope she didn't/doesn't kill him. That said, it's still up to you. If you give her reason enough to kill him, then fair enough - realistic happenings, no matter what they are, are always better than unrealistic happenings :P
[Someone, however, had cleaned them, though roughly, if the raw skin surrounding them was anything to go by.] I wonder if it was Alduin? Though, reading on, I feel as though maybe it was one of his followers, perhaps a Priest or just some Draugr. He doesn't seem the type to do that.
Awesome finish, by the way, I like Ember already.
If you're interested, I found a couple of SPAG mistakes.
[once more before huffing at her silence] you could do with a comma after [more].
[So in an action far too soft] comma after [so].
[had waiting, ready crush her] you need [to] after [ready].
You asked if we had any ideas as to where you should go with this? Well, it's not exactly a direction and it's just a suggestion, but maybe you could work Ember transforming into a dragon like Alduin at some point later in the story? As a sort of step up from her powers. At the same time, you could still keep her quite weak in comparison to him.
I also think it might be interesting if you included a couple of memories in the coming chapters, kinda like you did at the beginning of this one. Things that have happened to her where her personality has come out, so we can know her better and discover a little more about her past.
But seriously, you have my attention already, so I'm gunna read whatever you put down :)
Great chapter, and I'm glad you've decided to continue this :D
| DragonflyxParodies chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
I love this. I think you did wonderful-Can't wait for another chapter! Your character is awesome, and all I can say is I'm wondering if Auldin (sp? I know I can't spell his name right) is gonna get sexist bc she's a girl. XD
| Diclonious57 chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
| Diclonious57 chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
Really really good
| ZerOtodona chapter 1 . 6/7/2013
I've always wondered what the dragons would think of a female dovahkiin. Since female dov do not exist on nirn, who they really try to kill her then? Lol
| Hurlstien chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
Wow. This is fantastic! If you ever had the inspiration to make this in a multi-chapter thing then please do, I'm sure it'd be great.
I really like how she isn't ready to fight Alduin yet, we know she can fight and is relatively strong but she just isn't strong enough for this. And it adds that David and Goliath feel to it and I love that :)
I like how you included the effects of the shouts on her body and throat, made it more believable.
You've really kept Alduin in character too! I thought it was awesome how you had him change into a human form.
An awesome little one-shot, it's going on my favourites! :D
| Anilmathiel chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
Well written and AWESOME!
| WhiteOwl74 chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
Qoq, Alduin you sexist, can't believe that the Doavkiin's a girl?
Get use to dispointments. Are you doing more chapters? Like more incounters or something?
| Wyrm chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
Oh god you need to continue!