|Reviews for Ballad of the Masses|
| MizDirected chapter 3 . 3/17
They accepted her once they'd seen her in action, saw how she mowed down the mercs that had run to ground here from the Vagabonds that patrolled the space in this sector of the the galaxy. - awkward sentence is awkward
And the music continues and binds Susan to Grunt. Love that. And love that even though he isn't sure how or even what it is he's seeing ... he is seeing Shepard in Susan.
This chapter struggled a little, and it's just because with you having to move Susan so far in such a short time, the narrator voice takes over and its default is telling. My suggestion if you ever decide you want to rewrite is to start in the swamp. Trudging through that muck is an excellent excuse to have Susan examine how she got there. We naturally would in that circumstance. That way, you can dig into her, give us the experience of being Susan and still bring us up to date with the history.
I am really eager to see how this all comes together. I could not have anticipated Susan joining Aralakh Company, so that was an awesome development. Cool beans.
| MizDirected chapter 2 . 3/2
He was twenty-six and death was no longer a stranger to him. He danced with it, he dealt it, it had become a friend to him. - Love this and the bookend, but wish for the was's to be gone for something even more gripping.
So, Marcus is all grown up and merrily killing and making love. And nothing can possibly go wrong, right? Noooooo. Everything will be fine. I'm sure.
I enjoyed the dynamic within the team. I'm also very sure that nothing can possibly happen to Marcus's beloved little brother. I know I am going to be shaking angry fists at you, and probably sooner rather than later. I love, of course, that Garrus is still very much with Marcus. We often don't realize how much we impact someone's life. It's a beautiful thing.
Can't wait to see what they get up to, despite the presence of the old enemies. Yes, you know who they are. ;)
| MizDirected chapter 1 . 2/28
I have to get this out of my system ... then it will all be good. I am Inigo Vakarian. You didn't kill my father, prepare to die. Okay ... I'm good now.
I cried. Cried like a baby, a hungry, angry baby. And then laughed. The kids were adorable and so ... darned kid-like.
And I'm glad Javik came back. I get why he left, but was glad that eventually he figured it all out.
Inigo, the tactless one, opened his mouth and Marcus cringed inwardly, "Why are you so puny?" - who says this? Little rearrange will do the trick.
And how much do I love that Garrus basically created another him in his nephew. That's awesome! And it seems Susan inherited her mother's mouth. She and Aethyta should get together. :D They can lament or laud their fathers' influence.
Wonderful beginning that has my finger twitching toward the next button.
| jpgFury chapter 16 . 9/19/2014
I am soooo very glad I found this lovey story! I have been eating up the chapters after getting fully dragged into the story line. And what a brilliant plot so far!
I am on the edge of y seat eager for the next bit at the conclusion of every chapter and am constantly surprised by the direction you take me. That is not to say it isn't coherent - because it most certainly is - but the plot and characters are all so new and interesting that i can't see what's coming next - and I love that
I got pretty teary at chapter 14 though... That was brutal But it worked really well.
Can't wait to read more!
| Joryn282 chapter 7 . 8/3/2013
I enjoy this story. I look forward to catching up on it. See what happens to all these characters. Couldn't really see anything for crit. I did get a kick out of Vorcha counselor. If it screeches "Prothean no like you!" at some point I will laugh.
| Joryn282 chapter 6 . 6/25/2013
Some more fun banter between the characters. I like the addition of having one of Shepard's old companions see something familiar about Susan. Also, well done on that. It's difficult to get someone to feel sympathy for Jacob.
About the only think i noticed was one spelling error. Sixth paragraph down, toward the end of that paragraph, you spelled "till" with only one "l". I know it's a nit-picky thing and other than that I didn't really notice anything else.
| Joryn282 chapter 5 . 6/21/2013
Good chapter. I like the interactions between the characters and your action scenes are believable and flow well. I'm looking forward to seeing parts 2 and 3 of this story. You've obviously taken this story pretty far in that case. Blueberry of headbutting fury!
| Joryn282 chapter 4 . 6/17/2013
Another solid chapter. I like the interaction between the characters, as well as the tenseness felt while being targeted by a sniper. Massani is a good addition, though surprised that he is still alive. Curious to know what it was that was going on between Garrus and Javik. Hopefully will find out in later chapters.
| Joryn282 chapter 3 . 6/14/2013
Another good chapter. I think it's interesting how you have some of former Shepard's comrades made a little uneasy by Susan, because there's something familiar about her but they can't put their finger on it sort of deal.
| Joryn282 chapter 2 . 6/12/2013
This was certainly an interesting chapter to read. I like that you went into detail on what a turian might find attractive, like the shapely collar bones part. Nice attention to detail.
| Joryn282 chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
This is a very interesting story. I think it's neat that you had Liara give Shepard a legacy, even if they weren't romantically involved. I also think it's cool that you decided to go far enough into the future for their children to be the new protagonists.
| barbex chapter 15 . 12/9/2012
The Mako! Welcome back my little baby. Man, I loved the Mako.
I'm so sad that Paulus died, poor boy.
Marcus finding Garrus old toolbox and the sniper rifle is just the best. Awesome story.
| barbex chapter 14 . 12/7/2012
Oh god, you're killing me.
| barbex chapter 11 . 12/3/2012
I'm suspecting everyone now, is Sanders the traitor or even Aleia? Are they under some influence, like indoctrination, doubting themselves and each other?
Sitting on the edge of my seat here.
| Credete chapter 10 . 11/13/2012
Dayyyyum Blue. I'm liking the new pacing for chapters. It's not 4 a day, so it gives me time to soak in the previous. And the drawings are getting better
This chapter, and the previous, were awesome. The respective couples finally got together (granted not Susan and Paulus, as official as Marcus and Aleia, but close). And what the fuck is the deal with this cult? Let's find the prophets, and then torture them. Makes sense? Classic cults.
As always, can't wait for the next chapter.