|Reviews for Fractured Moonlight on the Sea|
| FangsandDaggers chapter 1 . 6/26
Ahhh so angsty and yet so sweet. You really managed to capture the feel of La Push and the res/Quilutes. Good job ;-)
| TinaF chapter 1 . 5/17
| PastOneonta chapter 1 . 3/28/2014
Lovely. Really a powerful AU story. Jacob fighting the imprint in order to give the woman his wolf wants a choice. I am glad they came together though, they learned so much about each other and friendship and what really matters. Thanks for writing.
| m.m.press chapter 1 . 11/5/2013
Very interesting AU. Loved it.
| radix chapter 1 . 8/6/2013
Awwwww... so sweet...
| RaivynBlack chapter 1 . 7/31/2013
THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER! WRITEMOREWRITEMOREWRITEMOREWRITEMORE!
| StormRex Lancer chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
Okay, there are some things like 'tasting his lips foreverforeverforever' 'liarliarliarLIAR-' ;JacobandLeah'. Words that got jumbled up that sort of jarred me out a bit. Do you mean just a single 'forever', 'liar', and 'Jacob and Leah'? There are some words that have apostrophes like 'He's', 'They've', 'don't' that are used outside of dialogues. It will be good if you can fully extend those words.
I like the way that Bella is self-reliable. As you know, what dissed most of us, me to an extent in the movie, is because of Bella being your stereotypical 'damsel in distress' as Nostalgic Critic had pointed out. You gave Bella a more diversified thought like being able to be self-collected and calm instead of being an emo girl who sits about all day moaning about small things, and also a girl with a sense of humor
I'm serious, you managed to characterize Bella way well than some stereotypical damsel in distress. The relationship between Jacob and Nella is great. Although I'm not on Team Jacob or Team Edward or whatever you would call that, I actually believed that Bela and Jacob are more more realistic in this story because you managed to flesh their thoughts about their fears, the consequences of loving each other, and also Jacob's family finally admitting that Jacob deserves Bella because of Jacob's more realistic and the tone of Jacob makes it seem like it could intimidate the hell out of me if it were to be true.
The struggles about a taboo subject between a possible beastiality and romance is quite hard as well, I was quite impressed at how you fleshed out the werewolves's family's fears due to stigma, and how leah begrudgingly accepted Jacob's conviction to bella, but still added a bit of ressent at the end ('Of course you can, idiot'), making it a more realistic way of depicting that Leah might be starting to respect the couple, it's just that it'll be sometime before the werewolves pack can get over this taboo subject.
| persevera chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
I guess the aforementioned male's mention was as "you" but that's a little confusing. It would be a cute way to begin a sentence, except that it could leave a reader a little puzzled.
I really like the phrase [body swathed with sharp indentions and graceful lines]-That's a great description of an angular girl.
The interaction of Bella with the wolf is always a little chancey. It can so easily take a perverted turn. When I first read it, I didn't realize at first that he Jacob was in his wolf form. His passionate eyes and her arms reaching out to him—all of that comes close to crossing that line. But maybe that's what you were going for. He wouldn't be any less attracted to her when he was in his wolf form, would he?
[ indescribably warmth]-I believe that should be indescribable.
The sentence that begins "Their Alpha" has both here and there in it. You might want to rephrase it.
Also love the sentence that begins "Leah hardens". That conveyed her emotion and volatile personality so well.
You spelled incurring with only one 'r'.
The idea of someone fighting imprinting because he doesn't want to tie the girl down, despite it driving him crazy, is interesting. Glad they got over it in the end.
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
I love Florence and Never Let Me Go is one of my favorites! Okay, I really love the sentence about him saying it’s happening again and he can’t help it. I really thought that they were in wolf form for a few paragraphs. I didn’t realize they were actually human at the time. I like how upset Leah is. It took me a few seconds to realize you’re putting the song in this. I want to know what her motive is behind keeping Bella safe from Jacob imprinting. I like when it switches to Bella’s perspective, but I really enjoy that it was third person and not first person. As a side note, I really like that Edward’s not in this. I like the fact she said he’s as warm as the sun. That’s a really nice line. I really like that he guards her fences at night. I’m wondering what her dream means. I really like how you show him dealing with imprinting on Bella. The effects that he’s having about watching her and wanting to protect her is really nice and well balanced. Did Leah imprint on Jacob? Or did I miss why Leah is so angry about this? I love the tension you show between them because of it. I think the internal warfare going on as they’re trying to break the imprint is pretty interesting. The comment about fucking large wolves made me laugh. I like that you explained why Leah didn’t want him imprinting on her. I thought that was well done.
So, I tend to stay away from Twilight fics because, well, I’m not a fan of the whole franchise anymore. With that said, I want to say that there are very few I actually enjoy and yours is one. The reason I like it is because it’s a bit out of character in the sense that you add depth to the characters. You keep who they are, but you make them real and more of a likeable character. I love how you show Bella and Jacob together. I love what you add to Bella. I wish she had been more like that in the book. You don’t make her whiny and annoying, but you make her extremely likeable and tolerable. While the style of writing is something I’m not completely used too, I did really like this. I really love what you’ve done with the characters.
| HalcyonSeasons chapter 1 . 2/16/2013
I love you for writing this.
There's something about one-shots, man. Especially one-shots like this. They're so great and they make me feel so complete. This was both entertaining and filling. It's like a full story on its own. You proved that you don't have to write a forty chapter long adventure to tell a beautiful, honest story. When you're this talented and intricate, you don't have to.
I love the way you write. I am jealous of it. Very jealous. It's so seamless and effortless. It's also very powerful. This may sound weird but you've got that Laurie Halse Anderson thing going on with your style; you have your own rules and you don't care for the ones that were already established. It's one thing to tell a story, but it's another thing to make it enjoyable for the reader to read. That was very enjoyable. I loved it.
Thanks for sharing.
| nefftys chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
well i really think this is an excelent job, so well written.
| kittycat69 chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
this was very well written. I am a sucker for a great AU and this was done beautifully. thanks for the read! :)