|Reviews for Drizzle|
| Rachelea chapter 1 . 4/9
Enjoyed this very much, and I'm working my way through your various kidlock stories as well. Thanks for writing!
| GGMK chapter 1 . 10/29/2014
I'll say upfront that I liked reading this one. The tone you went with, subtle, worked very well for this story. I dislike drama when it's presented "loudly", so I'm glad you don't force-feed or talk down to the audience.
I laughed at the vending machine scene. Its the description I liked; I've dealt with some stubborn ones, but one that gives you what you want "if you were lucky"? Yikes.
The note exchanges were also humorous, but not overly written as to get silly or juvenile. You kept the notes mature, which I admire.
Lestrade doesn't enjoy sweet things, huh? Coke definitely isn't as bitter as coffee. I don't remember if Lestrade dislikes sweet food in the show, but either way, I'm glad you added that scene; its the small stuff that can help make a character feel real, and more fleshed out.
I really like the scene where Lestrade gets to show his authority, when he tells his men to "Uncuff him", and then orders Matt to get the coffee. Lestrade doesn't always show the stern side of himself, but its pretty cool when he does.
When Lestrade had that staring contest with Matt, and you mentioned that stare downs "were his specialty", I liked that too, for the reason given above.
As another review mentioned, the ending is powerful because you don't overstate it. It's sudden and quiet, and then the final sentence slides in just as you're digesting what John said. Its pretty effective.
I didn't notice any obvious grammar or spelling errors, so I have no complaints.
| skygawker chapter 1 . 7/23/2014
Not fandom blind!
[The fourth floor, south-side vending machine seemed less like a business transaction and more like a wheel of fortune.] This line - actually, this whole opening paragraph - was just golden. Not only is it an amusingly realistic portrayal of vending machines, but the snarky tone of it is something that I can totally see coming from Lestrade.
Actually, I really loved your characterization of him throughout this piece. The whole leaving-a-note rather than just making the coffee seemed entertainingly *him* (making coffee just isn’t his division, huh?), and then more seriously when he starts thinking about the actual case. Having [ After all, he had his best people out looking for them.] immediately followed up by [He hadn't asked any of them to make enquiries at St Bartholomew's hospital. Nor had he asked Molly Hooper if she'd seen her friends recently] was an amusing cut, but it did also really show his sense of loyalty and perceptiveness.
[Fun Times at Baker Street and the day of paperwork and follow-up investigations that generally followed anything that Sherlock Holmes took it into his head to do]. I’m pretty sure you could just sum up the entire series with this single sentence.
I liked your descriptions of the weather - not the most subtle bit of foreshadowing/tone-setting, but hey, classics are classics for a reason. Your description is more subtle than “it was a dark and stormy night” or something like that, but it got the same sense across.
[He flinched as his chair scraped noisily across the floor.] You might want to think about clarifying who is “he” and “his” in this sentence - I could figure out from context that it was John flinching and Lestrade’s chair, but it isn’t obvious at first glance that they’re referring to two separate people.
The conversation between John and Lestrade was great. At this point, canon-familiar readers like myself know what’s going on and what John has just witnessed, so Lestrade’s confusion and John’s seeming inability to talk about it (initially) was very powerful. I like that you didn’t try to go over the top in showing their emotions here - I think having John be in shock, and ending on a line that didn’t actually mention Lestrade’s reaction, kept them in character while revealing their grief in an understated way. Allowing the reader to fill in the blanks was probably more effective than any long description of their emotions could have been, so I thought that was a powerful ending.
Anyway, this was a very interesting little one-shot. It fills in an important missing moment from the show itself, and I felt that everyone was portrayed realistically and in-character. All the details you included about station life - the coffee, Lestrade's opinions of Carroll and Prescott, etc. - really fleshed the whole thing out, and sort of created a sense of complacency for Lestrade that made the revelation at the end seem more powerful and jarring. He may have been expecting a Sherlock-related drama and headache, but he certainly wan't expecting *that.*
| Cheile chapter 1 . 6/2/2014
Fandom blind—and picking this one cuz it sounds like from your master list that everything starts here! So I better start at the beginning properly ;)
The whole thing with Lestrade and the coffeemaker (I take it calling it a percolator is a Brit/fandom related thing) is hilarious. The initial note someone stuck on it was funny but Lestrade's retort of a note had me almost snort my Diet Pepsi...thanks a lot :P
Sounds like things are going to hell around there—here's the one case with these kids and their hating-each-other parents, and in other news, Sherlock pulled a gun on John (whaaat? Methinks this is not typical Sherlock behavior...they are sposed to be friends/partners, IIRC) But since John is now there and asking for Lestrade, maybe things will be explained?
I like how he focuses on how bad John looks even before he gets pissed about John being cuffed. That shows that they are friends (at least that is my fandom-blind guess) and shoos off the two officers in the room—one to get the keys, the other for coffee. (and the kid's gonna have to make some too, which will take awhile, hehe. Good move, Lestrade.)
["He's given himself up peacefully, and he's handcuffed. I'd say he'd be a pretty unlikely assailant."] – seriously this. Beat it, kid :P
Love how shell-shocked John is...flinching, expressionless, and hands shaking (you don't say it, but I get this impression from the hands in fists line and how the cuff chain rattles a bit). It shows how bad things are before he even says word one to Lestrade that isn't "yeah".
["I left him behind at Barts," John said. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid he's dead."] - :goggle: Well, if that isn't a fine drop-the-bomb ending (even tho I know there's more to come!) Ye gods! I will definitely have to continue on some time soon. Thanks for the wow read :)
| becgate chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
| jack63kids chapter 1 . 4/19/2014
I can't believe I've not read this little gem before. Glorious! This is superb writing; all the great characterisation and nods to canon you could want.
I love the feeling of being in on what happens off camera - feels intimate and rather special, and then of course we know much more than is being plaed out here too, which gives a weird twist. All the little details about making of coffee, what well known characters think of each and some to die for descriptive passages too.
' "Did they read you your rights, John?" He asked in a low voice.' - "Did they read you your rights, John?" he asked in a low voice.
And, oh what a cliffhanger to leave on! Even though we know so much more.
| Great Angemon chapter 1 . 9/8/2013
Hey Edhla! I liked this story alot. I thought it was funny.
I think my favorite line was when Lestrade took a sip from his Coke: "One sp and he grimaced- it was vile. Sweet enough to put you in a diabetic coma."
I also really liked the part with the coffee percolator. I thought the notes that were left by Lestrade and whoever else were funny.
SPAG: Not a lot, but I did see a few things that could be fixed.
"bothered to brew more which was" I think you might want to put a comma before which, because there would be a pause.
"fresh and bright, scattered clouds." I'd add with, before 'scattered clouds'.
"was meant to mean" I think this would sound better if you said, "was supposed to mean."
"awful- gray-faced and shaking" I think shaking would sound better as shaken. Or you could say he was gray faced, and he was shaking.
"I'm sorry. I'm afraid he's dead." I'd change the period to a comma, and say 'but'. Then it would read as, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid he's dead." Also, I thought John would have some trace of emotion in his voice, since his best friend just die. Unless he's too shaken by the trauma?
All in all, a good piece. I hope my review was helpful to you, and I'm sorry if there's bo formatting in my review. My 3DS doesn't play well with others.
| Rainie Skyes chapter 1 . 9/8/2013
Loved how you captured Lestrade. Just perfect. Lovely writing. As always. :)
| magentacr chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
Haha, that bit at the beginning with the coffee maker made me laugh so much. Sobered up a bit when they said John had turned himself in though. Poor John doesn't know what to do with himself. He was so formal telling Lestrade though, obviously a bit in shock. Could almost hear Martin Freeman saying the line (with the little voice break like on RF)
Brilliant chapter. Still loving all the little details you add in, you're such a genius with this.
| Tomoe Mami chapter 1 . 8/25/2013
“The fourth floor, south-side vending machine was less like a business transaction and more like a wheel of fortune. You put your money in, pressed your selection. Sometimes it jammed. Sometimes it gave you something else. Sometimes it spat out chocolate and crisps and drinks all over the place. Sometimes it did absolutely bloody nothing at all.
Occasionally, it gave you exactly what you wanted, and nothing else.”
I absolutely loved this section, Edhla; it was very well written. I even laughed at the funniness of it.
The whole note business was hilarious as well, couldn’t stop laughing. You really do know how to write the characters of Sherlock.
“"You look bloody awful. Are you all right? I mean, do you need medical treatment?" Lestrade thought he could smell blood, just vaguely, but perhaps that was his imagination. With a table between them, he couldn't see what other officers had noted- the patches of blood on John's knees. But John shook his head.
"John, where's Sherlock?"
John swallowed. He was looking at his hands.
"Is he all right? Is he safe? We'll get this sorted out, John. But I need to know where he is."
But even as he spoke, Lestrade knew they weren't going to get this sorted out. John would never have left Sherlock somewhere on his own to give himself up out of a sense of moral duty.
"I left him behind at Barts," John told him. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid he's dead."”
These last lines, however, nearly had me in tears. I know it’s not the truth, but it felt true when I watched the episode.
I love your work, Edhla, great job.
| DixieH chapter 1 . 8/16/2013
Aaak! Must have more ... Hoping After the Fall does not disappoint. I quite like the way you write Lestrade. -Dix.
| Melaszka chapter 1 . 8/15/2013
More lovely character work. You capture Lestrade brilliantly.
| englishtutor chapter 1 . 7/29/2013
Nicely done. I enjoyed your descriptions and the attention to detail. You made Lestrade's world-weariness apparent through simple, everyday occurrences, contrasting nicely with the backdrop of earth-shattering events just beyond his ken. Lovely.
| Heather Snow chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
You know, I had never really thought about how Lestrade found out about Sherlock's death or what happened with John and the police after Sherlock's jump. Very, very interesting. I would love to see you follow-up on this. And, I thought Lestrade was beautifully in character.
| mrspencil chapter 1 . 5/7/2013
Simply and powerfully told.