|Reviews for Clockwork and a Teacup|
| Spidersauce chapter 12 . 10/23
"I couldn't remember him being this injured in the story."
Oh gee, I wonder if that's 'cause twelve years of butterfly effects could possibly be able to change ANYTHING AT ALL. I don't understand why she thinks things would be the same as the story to that level of detail at all.
Isn't she supposedly intelligent?
Also, why the fuck has she not got to anyone at all for help with her Chakra Sensitivity. Her paranoia about not being special to start with was one thing, but now it's a blatant liability that WILL get her killed.(Or rather, it would if not for plot armor)
And sadly you're still writing her as if she is so incompetent of a shinobi(maybe a person too?) that she can't pay attention for five seconds before going mentally insane and talking to her broken mind. And as an excuse to not list out teams other than 1-7 too . . . Always painful when an author makes his character pathetic in order to let them write also have made this Sakura a complete pushover. I'm wondering if she will ever display free will again or if she will just continue to do anything and everything asked of her by literally every person she has met so far?
. . . And you pull the SuperLazyCard and make your Bell Test canon verbatim.
Yeah, not worth my time anymore. Good start to a story then you shifted to write to fill the chapter instead of writing to tell a story. Pity you only lasted three chapters.
| Spidersauce chapter 11 . 10/23
I hope Sakura stops being an idiot and forces herself to learn how to tolerate chakra before graduation or she is going to be even more of a failure of a Shinobi than Canon, and has to rely on plot armor.
| Spidersauce chapter 10 . 10/23
Nothing else to do with arm in a cast?
Idk, maybe, train with Chakra. Or, you know, dozens of other things besides being physical with both arms.
Hell, learn to be acrobatic whilst injured/crippled. You plan to be a Shinobi, I thought?
| Spidersauce chapter 10 . 10/23
Please stop having her get distracted and talk to her crazy self IN EVERY GODDAMN CONVERSATION.
Is so painful to read in what is otherwise a good story
| Spidersauce chapter 9 . 10/23
I felt this chapter was just you shoehorning the plot where you wanted it to go whether it was organic or not.
I'm still not buying that this is the character you created and wrote a few chapters about; the same time you made her mentally incompetent(chapter 4) she completely changed to a whole new character with no bridge to show us why/how.
| Spidersauce chapter 5 . 10/23
"I don't want to mess with the plotSays Sakura whilst trying to completely remove herself from the plot.
Is it you or your OC here that pulled a stupid? o.O
I am really liking this story with the exception of the crazy voice in her head. Always hated that in canon and it makes even less sense for it to appear here too. If it has to be included, please don't fall for the trap of making her zone out in IMPORTANT conversations to have a fucking chat/argument with her insanity.
Not to mention that it entirely throws the whole "I concentrate on something to the exclusion of all else" out the fucking window when she breaks out of her conversations to be insane for a bit. The character you established, if InsaneSakura has to exist for no reason, shouldn't respond or even register the voice in her head in these situations.
| Spidersauce chapter 4 . 10/23
. . . I was excited for Sakura not to be mentally incompetent.
Then this chapter came along. "Inner Sakura" ruins everything . . .
| Spidersauce chapter 2 . 10/22
Wants to stay lowkey. Decides using chakra to jump around in tree branches deliberately around other people, as a three year old, is a good idea.
| Jestersky98 chapter 25 . 9/6
Honestly the story is good but the fact that 99% of your writing is about mental breakdowns I’m dropping, I can’t say it’s bad cause it’s not it’s just that it’s too angsty and annoying to read when there’s so little plot and too much drama in EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER
| Jestersky98 chapter 20 . 9/5
Please for the love of all that is holy DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT introduce a zetsu rank character this fucking early when mc is still so pathetic she hasn’t even resolved her fucking mental problems
I cannot stress this enough of bad this chapter is compared to the rest and you 100% should dial back a bit and switch back to your earlier writing
| bombbastik chapter 14 . 9/7
I tried, nobody can say I didn’t try, but this story is just hard to read, the back and forth, the pathetic way that Sakura does fucking NOTHING AT ALL! I get that this is important to your plot, but the slow slot like way that everything is getting done is killing me. If the plot was going any slower, it would be going in reverse.
| Guest chapter 6 . 9/5
Please remove inner sakura, it’s stupid and has no redeeming qualities except cmoic relief except that you don’t need inner sakura for that
Also the weak mentality of SI compared to seemingly strong mentality of inner sakura is not making sense either
| LoveLifeForever chapter 30 . 8/29
Daaamn... this story... it's so hard to follow sometimes.
Not the story itself so much as the emotional flow. It's incredibly stilted, like someone is given a random emotion to prompt each chapter and goes from there. Where's the flow of dialogue? I feel like I'm watching a movie with no music.
I really enjoy the imagery that gets put into this story, but literally everything else feels like filler... forced. Almost like Sakura's emotional issues are a direct reflection of how the author feels about this story... or even life in general.
It's a little too consistent not to be at least a partial reflection of the author, considering even the multiple viewpoints don't tend to stray too far from the awkward silences and half finished sentences.
Also, the tone lacks any sort of resolution so far. There's no closure. No relief to the tension of previous troubles. It all just piles in, building constantly. It's like Sakura is suffering from acute anxiety just by existing, which clashes with the general apathy she ties to force on herself.
It's exhausting to read, because that person trapped inside her, screaming to come out, that's the reality of who she is right now. At least, that's what it feels like - the ideation of an emotional paraplegic.
Still, I have to hand it to the author. Definite points for originality.
Probably done reading though. I kept waiting for a hint of hope or relief somewhere in the story. It's not coming.
This is like an unofficial Worm/Naruto crossover:
Being Sakura is suffering... and it gets worse.
| gingergirl133 chapter 33 . 8/26
I absolutely love this story it’s so well written I’m actually very surprised at some of the negative reviews? I’m sad that I’m reading this story so late and I understand you’re probably done with it by now but wow I would love to read more chapters!
| Jestersky98 chapter 3 . 8/18
Ruined at the third chapter, can’t make a silent strong character who then can’t tell someone to fuck off or kerp her mouth shut