|Reviews for Every Thousand Miles|
| ErinKenobi2893 chapter 10 . 3/22
WRITE MORE! I WANT MOAR! X-D
This is so awesome. I love your writing. I want to co-write something with you sometime. X-D
I sometimes post as AnotherBook; the girl (Iris) who started the account invited me to join her in posting on it. All my stories have "Posted by Erin" in the description. Would you check it out? Please? _
| TheVelvetRose 1120 chapter 8 . 11/3/2014
| TheVelvetRose 1120 chapter 7 . 11/3/2014
Amazing! Marvelous! Phenomenal!
| TheVelvetRose 1120 chapter 4 . 11/3/2014
You have a gift. Your writing is amazing.
| TheVelvetRose 1120 chapter 2 . 11/3/2014
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
| avengerteam chapter 3 . 1/18/2014
That was so great! I could totally see this scene happening in a movie!
| NeoMiniTails chapter 3 . 1/10/2014
I've said this before, but I love how you make Captain humanize the world around him and the way he thinks. For example, when he sees the sky through the window shield clear and blue, his wondering how it had the "right" to even be that clear when the world wasn't even all that happy at the moment with the robots flying around, killing people.
I love the description of Tony falling from the sky like "a red-golden star, com fizzling out."
I love the description that Captain thinks of when he sees Tony panic - "he never panics." As a man who has worked with him for a long time and knows him as well as he does, this is something nerve-wracking and bad if the man who is always calm (in a Tony way) is suddenly anxious and you can visibly see it.
Wow, the scene with Iron Man's suit and your writing from Steve's perspective is intense and amazing! I usually pause between paragraphs to write in parts of my review but my mind was glued in what's going on and how they will stop him without killing him... the funny was, I knew that the robots were more about taking over his suit so that didn't shock me... it is the intensity of the scenes after.
I chuckled at the description of the honda being an "annoying, cheerful green." Yeah, I'm sure anybody who lands on a car wouldn't be too happy with it. haha.
The moment after, the dramatically still Tony Stark is just as powerful as the action sequence before it. I feel the nerves.
Love this description: Dust fills the air, swirling and dancing, erasing all else.
The ending where Tony is laughing, the Captain is letting go, and the reminder that the sky is very, very blue... I love it! I love the callback to that original line you used in the early part of the chapter.
when (there) are robots buzzing around the city
Steve really hopes Tony isn't dying - it's a bit weak as a sentence and doesn't show much of how Captain feels. Also, I'd personally take out the word "really" because for some reason, it gives the feel of someone writing first person but saying their name rather than using pronouns... that may just be me, but I think "Steve hopes Tony isn't dying" is stronger by itself.
The contracts until (two) things exist.
demanding to (know) what happened
Until Next Time,
| NeoMiniTails chapter 2 . 1/8/2014
Since I reviewed both of your preferences, I went back to a story that I started before... it wasn't until I read this chapter that I remembered that you said that your using present tense was a stylistic choice, not a mistakes-and then I remembered the three things that I've read from you and finally, I see why.
Most authors can't do what you do-especially using present tense and not make me cringe because often, people do it and it sounds like a badly written first person narrative, but you don't fall into that category-no, you have a way with words. You have a tendency to use the world around the characters and humanize it into factoring into their minds.
In certain stories of mine, where I am still learning the character, I have an issue with this... but you understand Captain America which is clear from everything that I read from you. You understand his pain, the grief, the struggle he has in living in a world that he no longer belongs... and when you understand, the words comes out clearly ringing out truth.
Drops fall like tears in the silence. - I love this line. it goes so vivid with the mindset of the Captain who cannot cry because they're strong, they lead people - they have to appear strong.
Later, you go back to that point and you allow him to cry which is also strong writing, not forgetting an earlier statement and leaving it.
While I'm in dread, reading this, you allow Captain to hear a lullaby - his mother's lullaby. It's a song he no longer remembers the words, but he remembers the beat. The moment is potent and powerful, and I love it because he realizes "Steve Rogers" is not dead.
Very lovely writing. No nitpicks.
Until Next Time,
| Graveofthefireflies chapter 1 . 12/18/2013
I really liked how you opened this story with a character study. I enjoy fanfictions that address themes of psychological suffering and your take on Steve’s ordeal is very well written. The descriptions of Steve’s nightmares give as a good idea of what he may be going through. I really liked that you have made references to all the senses in your description. You get a really good idea of what Steve would experience being trapped underneath the ice. You describe the emotions very well, you get a very clear sense of the depression and feelings of hopelessness that the memories of the endless winter would bring back for Steve.
The scene between Tony and Steve was also very well written. There was a mutual understanding there of what was going on without any questions being asked. I really like how you captured the fact that Tony and Steve share a common experience of dealing with nightmares of a past trauma. Even if they don’t always see eye to eye Tony would be well placed to support Steve in that situation.
The last sentence was a nice touch. It summarized perfectly what happened in a very fitting metaphor.
I am looking forward to reading the rest of this story now.
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 8 . 11/30/2013
Oh god, first of all, LOVED the beginning, because 'insane and stupid' is what is Tony Stark. Superb friendship fic, and it was great to see Tony's significance -being the glue- for their little very dysfunctional good-doers group. His easy going personality and easy leadership was the thing that was kept them together. Steve might think himself as a leader of the team, because he acts like now, always worrying over his teammates, but in reality it's Tony's himself, and I believe that's also very good because the others wouldn't let anyone head the show under anyone. Tony just has that spark, he makes people listen to his words.
-Post it! And that was just so Tony, too. Loved it again tremendously. And again, how frustrated and worried Steve felt by it.
Weather -especially winter and rain- still plays a big role in each snaplets, and I rather like this recurring element, as 'cold' closely tied with Steve too.
Yay for Natasha being the pilot. As a side note, I really enjoy her little glimpses in the stories, and I wonder how you will deal with her in a story in which stars her. I like her character a lot, and now I'm curious.
The ending was beautiful, the 'hug' was very good for moment, an excellent example for bros, and I liked 'we're both stupid.' And Starkese Translation. Bwah. Steve has some weird sense of humor, and it's good to see it appearing from time to time.
The way you finished with Steve not ever learning what was Extremis about-very, very poignant.
Well done, once again.
| lydiamartins chapter 8 . 11/30/2013
This was an interesting chapter - the premises upon which the story are developed is very nice, and the character of Steve is very in-character, and characterized very nicely, something very similar to how it had been in the movies. It seems logical that he would feel the responsibility for the death of Tony - as he was the leader, and because the two of them were close - and these one world drabbles are really growing on me as a style of writing. The poetry is where nice as of yet, and the descriptive terms make this even better. Okay, for a few one-word prompts; maybe petrichor? The descriptions are very lovely throughout this piece, such as [When the shape of a quinjet blocks out the skye, Steve Rogers release a breath he didn't know he was holding.]
However, there are a few sp&g errors here and there;
[And then he's punch himself, for letting him.] Instead of that, it would probably be [And then, he's punching himself for letting him.]
[No-one's got his back and Steve Rogers has no idea if the man was intoxicated.] Instead of that, it would probably be [No one's got his back, and Steve Rogers has no idea if the main is intoxicated.]
Other than that, lovely chapter, and great work!
| lydiamartins chapter 9 . 11/28/2013
I don't think that I've read poetry in a while, or at least poetry on fanfiction, and I'm not too familiar with the premises of the Avengers Fandom, but I think that you did a great job with all of this poetry, and it's slightly confusing since I'm not aware of the characters but other than that, the words that at the top of each poem, or sometimes, just the word, sum everything together very nicely, and I also like how there's a much deeper meaning to each word. The dialogue at the end was interesting, since usually there's not much dialogue in drabbles, but it fits together really nicely. My favorite part would definitely have to be all of the lovely descriptions, especially near the end, near some of the latter of the prompts; There were so many genres in this fic, and they were blended very well together; my favorite prompts would have to be eleven and brothers, and I wonder what different prompts are going to be used in future chapters - it seems as though each of the drabbles were like mini-stories, in a way, and they carried a really nice message. The excellent descriptions were a nice touch, and I like how each of the prompts/words were expanded into something more than just a word, as well.
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 7 . 11/27/2013
Hmm, I liked how you turned the tables on with this one and made Steve this time controlled by another and it was of course Tony who did the saving. Good one. And I really liked how he punched him, heh, nicely solved. It was also great to see mentions of Natasha and Clint, hope to see then in the future too. I very much like Natasha.
Frankly I wasn't expecting Steve getting mind controlled, so kudos to you there, I liked being surprised :) For Loki, hmm, I think I liked the last chapter's Loki more, perhaps he was much more collected and seemed to like his movie character more. This one, even though his hatred and desire to perish the mortals very true to his characters, I didn't see the conflicted man I saw in the movies or in the previous chapters. But perhaps it was because this was the finale, and he had made his decision, as he said.
'He will live, even immortal, even when they die' This one particularly moved me. I wonder if Loki ever stops and thinks about 'what will happen after then' I mean, when you're the only living soul in the whole realms, so, what then? I can't imagine any worse curse than this. And I think movie!Loki wouldn't want this either. I recall he wanted to enslave mortals, not sweep out all of the existence. Frankly I am not a very good Avengers fan, only saw it once, too much superheroes for me, so I might be wrong, but that wasn't what I got from the movie.
And for the last, I think in one point, instead of look you wrote Loki, but can't find it now :)
| The Bitter Kitten chapter 1 . 11/26/2013
So maybe it’s just because we’re supposed to get a foot or more of snow and it’s bloody cold here, and I’m already praying for spring, but this resonated with me.
I like the structure of this. It’s visually appealing and I’m a fan of the ‘two disparate scenes interlaced and happening simultaneously’ thing.
Your prose is polished, as is your poetry. You have this really quiet, gloomy, lonely atmosphere going on, which goes hand-in-hand with the ice and winter imagery. It’s a great one-two punch.
Your characterization is pretty darn nice. I haven’t (shame of shames) seen the Avengers, but from how Steve thinks, he doesn’t sound modern. He sounds a little out of touch, a little other, and from what I’m guessing (he got frozen in a catastrophic accident until he was unthawed in present day) that’s what he is. So good job showing that through the narration style.
I also like Tony’s brief appearance. The jerky genius billionaire has a human side : )
The only quibble I have, honestly, is the use of ‘apathetic’. It’s a little forced for me, a $10 word where $2 will do you fine.
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 6 . 11/26/2013
And just I was asking myself where is Hulk to make God-mesh, we heard his ROAR! Glad that they came! But well, I'm sure they arrived just nicked of the time, isn't it always like that? Heh. :)
All right, here again we're with the Captain America angst, and I really shouldn't bitch, I know, because you're doing it so spectacularly. I'm glad that you brought Loki this time because despite it was your first time writing him, I think you really did a very good job with him, he was very-you know, godlike. The way he talks, the way he walks, acts, leans on his staff etc etc were just like a God. I really enjoyed him. And it was also very good that it was the mention of Thor's name that brought the most dangerous part out of him, of course, that was very in-character.
I liked how you used many names for Loki too, very appropriate, Liesmith was my favorite, and it was really good to see how Loki thinks of himself.
Steve was delightfully heroic as always, again to a point of stupidity, I mean I wasn't even a bit surprised when we learned that he hadn't waited for the rest of the team. Of course, he hadn't because people were dying and he just couldn't let that. That's why we like him, right? Because he's Captain America. Seeing him thinking himself a human shield was so 'aww, poor baby, you're more than this' but again, very spot-on.I really, really hope to see some character growth for him too in this. I know it's hard dealing with one-shots but I'd be very glad to see it.