Reviews for Hips 'n' Hits
QueenIsles chapter 1 . 11/19/2012
Damn! That's was great story!
Jameka Denise chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
Loved it.
Anon chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
Not sure why my last review never made it, but here's a shortened version. I liked the story - predatory Maura is sexy. However, I have to suggest that you get a beta reader (I'm assuming English isn't your first language?) - the spelling and other errors (e.g. using on instead of in) distract from the story. The pacing at times was also off, especially in the bedroom (you went from describing the clothes slowly coming off to another orgasm with no transition). Finally, the line, "She was actually about to bang a medical doctor" is a bit crass, don't you think?

Please take this as constructive criticism. I like your ideas and writing in general - I'd just love to see the stories be a bit smoother.
JG chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
That was a cute & sexy one shot, good job.
Anon chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
First, cute story. I like the idea of a predatory Maura stalking Jane that way. Sexy. Second, and please take this as constructive criticism, it seems like English might be your second language? Regardless, please consider getting a beta reader. There were quite a number of spelling and other errors (e.g. the use of on instead of in, which suggested to me second language) that distracted a bit from an otherwise good story. I also would have liked to have seen a little more pacing, or at least some indication of time changing - for example in the bedroom scene the various sentences jumbled together. Last, the phrase "She was actually about to bang a medical doctor," felt too crass for Jane, even coming from her blue collar roots.

I really did like this, and hope you read these comments in the spirit they're intended - constructive, not destructive. I'll be looking for other works from you.
JUJUChick16 chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
I would love to see how they interact with each other after this, would that date or what. Great job!
Saint73 chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
nice
bvscagle chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
Great!