Reviews for Black Falcon
Sophias.World chapter 6 . 4/22
UAHGNIHBFDINAUCIOJAIJIJCJADAFJVUNSUDNUA. tuu guud.
Guest chapter 1 . 4/11
I restumbled across this fic and I was like "hey, a fic I really loved!" But looking back I just... I'm realizing that Black Falcon comes off as very Mary Sueish? Your writing is really good to the point it was hard to tell, but now that I'm looking back, the signs are very obvious.

She seems so perfect and I honestly can't think of a single flaw now. She's extremely skilled in like everything she does and is super smart. I know she's a Bat and was trained with the Black Hawks, but it all seems like too much now? Her perfections seem to know no bounds in all honesty.

Besides that, what bothers me the most is her pairing. I'm not going to be all like "it's so cliche!" like I've seen some other people say because as far as I can remember, this was one of the first follow-the-plot Robin/OC fics on this site. Her being shipped with Dick isn't an issue- it's the how part. Verena is like 12 throughout this whole fic yet you've written hers and Dick's relationship like they're mature adults. I know they're more mature than your average teen/pre-teen, but like, that's not Dick in the slightest.

This was written before season two and a fair amount of the YJ comics if I remember correctly, but even still, Dick's never been the relationship type and besides for the cliche Zatanna problem, they're relationship lacks problems. Like there's none whatsoever. Besides that, they're relationship is perfect, but still, that's not Dick. Dick Grayson is a ladies man. In YJ and in the comics. Him and Verena may end up together forever at some point sure, but Verena would never be the only girl Dick would ever be with. He'd feel too trapped. He'd never resort to cheating of course, but Dick's a dog- as stated by Wally and later restated by Barbara (who, by the way, admitted in the YJ comics that Dick isn't ready for a relationship, even though Dick is in love with her and admits it freely).

The relationship is just too implausible for a 12 and 13/14 year old. I mean, you had them MAKING out and Dick get turned on. They're 12 and 13. Seems a bit much if you ask me. Also the fact that Wally seems to ship them is kind of implausible/unbelievable, I mean, he was blind to the fact M'gann had a thing for Superboy and had to be blatantly told something was going on. It's not like him to notice when couples are a thing.

I do really hope- if you get the time (I know college can get in the way and be time consuming)- that you do get around to a rewrite. Verena's Sueness is less at the end, but it's still there. The whole "Roy Harper is in love with this 12 year old" thing was kind of weird and a bit out of character for him. I can see him caring for her sure, but nothing more than platonic caring. The thing with her being Lex Luthor's daughter also seemed hastily thrown in and not well thought out? It just seemed misplaced.

Also... what the heck is with that telepathic link between Robin and Black Falcon? It makes no sense? Like none at all? Neither have powers. It seems a bit Mary Sue for that to be a thing.

Irregardless, Verena does seem like an OC that has a lot of potential. She just needs more development, more flaws to match her perfections, etc.
YJnerd chapter 30 . 3/16
AHHHHHHHH! I absolutely LOVED this story! Please make a sequel:)
a person d chapter 7 . 3/5
In that case, I'm happy to share the love. :) The ending was cute and adorable and I loved it!
a person d chapter 5 . 3/5
I'll be certain to keep the review button company if it get's lonely, then. Wonderful chapter :)
a person d chapter 4 . 3/5
The review button is my friend~
The review button is my friend~
The review button is my friend~

Anyway, nice set adaptation of the episode, I really liked the comment on the villain monologue. :)
InsaneGamer1823 chapter 1 . 10/23/2015
Did you shorten this? I really hope you update soon I miss reading the whole story
xOxO Lost Angel OxOx chapter 30 . 5/27/2015
I absolutely love this series and am on my way to read the sequel! You did an amazing job with this!
Guest of Awesome chapter 4 . 10/7/2014
Amazing!
CaiteKat chapter 6 . 8/30/2014
It'd okay so far but I have some major complaints:
1: Batman HATES guns. He would never have a protégé use them as a main weapon. This choice of weapon really bothered me.

2: What does this Black Falcon chick looks like and how old is she? I have heard or read almost no mention of what this person looks like.

3: I'm kinda disappointed with this OC. I hate it when people come up with OC's like this and nothing changes at all in the story! It doesn't have to be a major plot change! Even if you just changed the dialog around a little bit it would make it all the better! I feel like I'm just watching another episode of Young Justice with a badly drawn stick figure in every scene.

I don't want to sound like a total bitch, but this is my opinion - and me giving you some constructive criticism - but, I really think that you should take this into consideration.

P.S. Please look into getting a beta for this story. I see a lot of problems as far as plurals and past/present/future tense problems.

Thanks, CaiteKat
Counting Sinful Stars chapter 29 . 7/24/2014
Whoa...that's very worrisome. :( awww! Happy New Years team. ;3 what did they do? :( awww. :3

Those snippets for the next installment worry me.
Counting Sinful Stars chapter 28 . 7/24/2014
*shrieks* WHAT!? THAT BASTARD /LUTHOR/ is her father!?
Counting Sinful Stars chapter 27 . 7/24/2014
That must be hard for Dick. :( what did he and Roy talk about?
Counting Sinful Stars chapter 26 . 7/24/2014
Roy is awesome. :) he needs a girl.(OC) awwww. :3 who /is/ Verena's father?
Counting Sinful Stars chapter 25 . 7/24/2014
*squeals* I love it! X3 so sweet! X3
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