|Reviews for Black Falcon|
| Guest chapter 9 . 10/7/2017
I still can't get over the fact they call each brother and sister yet still are somehow falling for each other...
Other than that though, I really love Dick and Verena's interactions.
| Guest chapter 21 . 7/19/2017
Let me preface this by saying 1) I know you finished writing this story a long time ago, and I don't even know if you still use ., but if you I hope you take what I say into consideration and 2) all my criticism is meant to be constructive. I think your writing is fantastic, there's just a few things about your story that I think take away from its excellence.
I personally like Verena's backstory/alter-ego. I'm not even against her and Robin/Nightwing/Dick being together (they're cute together, even if their relationship is a bit much for teenagers of that age).
However, I personally don't agree with your idea to have Dick and Verena be foster/adopted siblings and also be dating. For one thing, considering the fact that they're both minors and Bruce Wayn (obviously) officially adopted and/or is fostering them, I'm pretty sure (not positive) that it's not exactly legal for them to be in a relationship together. For another thing, they kinda grew up together (meeting when they're nine and ten if I remember correctly) and there's even parts where the two refer to each other as their brother/sister. That just makes their relationship a little bit incestuous.
Also, Verena being Batman's sidekick, along with being trained by the Black Hawks, along with having a super villain parent...it's just a bit much. Like I said, I personally like her having been apart of the Black Hawks (or...kinda. Being raised there is more accurate I suppose), but it's too much for her to be Batman's sidekick on top of that. Maybe you were thinking that with her abilities, there wasn't another Leaguer who really fit, because I can see that - Verena not having any powers, her options for a mentor are pretty limited. Even so, I think it would be worth it to think outside the box a little on that. As for the whole "Lex-Luthor-is-her-father" thing...eh. I'm not particularly against it or for it, and I do like that you at least didn't make her father a Batman villain. I do think it just adds to her potential Mary Sue-ness, though.
Quick nitpick: as others have pointed out, Batman would never allow Verena to use a gun as her weapon of choice. Never. He abhors guns, and a sharpshooting potential protege is not going to change that.
Now, about the Roy/Verena thing. I personally find their friendship to be very sweet. That being said, as others have stated, Roy would never fall in love with a twelve year old when he's almost eighteen. Even if it's not technically pedophilia, it's pretty damn close. If you have your heart set on that being a one sided pairing, I would age Verena up some (even making her fifteen would be more believable) or have the original Roy Harper/Speedy/Arsenal come in somehow. At that age, six years is just too big of a gap. If you like Roy/Verena that much, I would even go as far to say that pair them together completely - just make sure Verena is older. She and Dick can have a brother/sister relationship.
I really, really hope you re-write this story with some of these things in mind. Despite some of the aspects of your story I personally don't agree with and/or like, I truly think Verena is an excellent OC. She just needs some work.
| Guest chapter 18 . 5/29/2017
This is such a great book I love the character development with Black Falcon
| RavenDeathGirl0909 chapter 30 . 5/8/2017
I love this!
| Ninth of the Irish Clan chapter 29 . 2/3/2017
Awsome story! I loved reading it!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/21/2016
Really hope you find the time to rewrite this fic! Make V more believable and maybe give her a better ship than Dick. Even with V being a borderline Mary Sue, she's still one of the best OCs in the fandom on this site. Would love to see what you could do with her now.
| SoraMalfoySlythern chapter 20 . 11/25/2016
hehe me liking this! I squealed for them too hehe XD TO cute and daddy bruce batman is cracking me up I love you BRucey! XD I am 27 years old and animation bruce is hot yummys ...heheheheh XD
| SoraMalfoySlythern chapter 2 . 11/25/2016
not bad at all I wondering who she will be with if anyone and i like seeing both her and robin hacking and the moral original the better in my book :D
| cinnamint08 chapter 6 . 4/22/2016
UAHGNIHBFDINAUCIOJAIJIJCJADAFJVUNSUDNUA. tuu guud.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/11/2016
I restumbled across this fic and I was like "hey, a fic I really loved!" But looking back I just... I'm realizing that Black Falcon comes off as very Mary Sueish? Your writing is really good to the point it was hard to tell, but now that I'm looking back, the signs are very obvious.
She seems so perfect and I honestly can't think of a single flaw now. She's extremely skilled in like everything she does and is super smart. I know she's a Bat and was trained with the Black Hawks, but it all seems like too much now? Her perfections seem to know no bounds in all honesty.
Besides that, what bothers me the most is her pairing. I'm not going to be all like "it's so cliche!" like I've seen some other people say because as far as I can remember, this was one of the first follow-the-plot Robin/OC fics on this site. Her being shipped with Dick isn't an issue- it's the how part. Verena is like 12 throughout this whole fic yet you've written hers and Dick's relationship like they're mature adults. I know they're more mature than your average teen/pre-teen, but like, that's not Dick in the slightest.
This was written before season two and a fair amount of the YJ comics if I remember correctly, but even still, Dick's never been the relationship type and besides for the cliche Zatanna problem, they're relationship lacks problems. Like there's none whatsoever. Besides that, they're relationship is perfect, but still, that's not Dick. Dick Grayson is a ladies man. In YJ and in the comics. Him and Verena may end up together forever at some point sure, but Verena would never be the only girl Dick would ever be with. He'd feel too trapped. He'd never resort to cheating of course, but Dick's a dog- as stated by Wally and later restated by Barbara (who, by the way, admitted in the YJ comics that Dick isn't ready for a relationship, even though Dick is in love with her and admits it freely).
The relationship is just too implausible for a 12 and 13/14 year old. I mean, you had them MAKING out and Dick get turned on. They're 12 and 13. Seems a bit much if you ask me. Also the fact that Wally seems to ship them is kind of implausible/unbelievable, I mean, he was blind to the fact M'gann had a thing for Superboy and had to be blatantly told something was going on. It's not like him to notice when couples are a thing.
I do really hope- if you get the time (I know college can get in the way and be time consuming)- that you do get around to a rewrite. Verena's Sueness is less at the end, but it's still there. The whole "Roy Harper is in love with this 12 year old" thing was kind of weird and a bit out of character for him. I can see him caring for her sure, but nothing more than platonic caring. The thing with her being Lex Luthor's daughter also seemed hastily thrown in and not well thought out? It just seemed misplaced.
Also... what the heck is with that telepathic link between Robin and Black Falcon? It makes no sense? Like none at all? Neither have powers. It seems a bit Mary Sue for that to be a thing.
Irregardless, Verena does seem like an OC that has a lot of potential. She just needs more development, more flaws to match her perfections, etc.
| YJnerd chapter 30 . 3/16/2016
AHHHHHHHH! I absolutely LOVED this story! Please make a sequel:)
| a person d chapter 7 . 3/5/2016
In that case, I'm happy to share the love. :) The ending was cute and adorable and I loved it!
| a person d chapter 5 . 3/5/2016
I'll be certain to keep the review button company if it get's lonely, then. Wonderful chapter :)
| a person d chapter 4 . 3/5/2016
The review button is my friend~
The review button is my friend~
The review button is my friend~
Anyway, nice set adaptation of the episode, I really liked the comment on the villain monologue. :)
| InsaneGamer1823 chapter 1 . 10/23/2015
Did you shorten this? I really hope you update soon I miss reading the whole story