|Reviews for The Homestead|
| bereshit001 chapter 10 . 6/20/2014
I really like this 'through others eyes' style. And I especially enjoyed the part where the homestead's people team up to save Connor! :)
Please continue this great story!
| Zuzzeroo chapter 10 . 5/25/2014
I am adoring this story so much! You capture all the Homestead characters perfectly and you write Connor so well. Please update soon!
| Yessian chapter 5 . 3/17/2014
Oh, one other nitpick from the previous chapter that I forgot - a gentleman does NOT ask a Lady he's frightened / alienated for a DRINK! How unseemly! XD Sorry, that rebound seemed just a touch out of character, lmao. Keep up the good work!
Love how Norris is freaked out by the carnage, but Connor's just standing there in the tree like, "Meh. Looks like it's Tuesday, already." Although I wonder what he tells people he does for a living? The "ambassador" excuse seems to piddle a bit when you spill people's entrails and replace their spines for tomahawks in full view of everyone else like that...hahaha.
Historical nitpick: On your OC, Joseph Brant... do you mean Thayendanagea Joseph Brant? Though you mentioned it was intentional to not have your OC and this guy be alike in any way, I have to ask, why didn't you write about the original Joseph Brant instead? AC seems to be all about taking some historical liberties and tweaking the important people of the time to continue the narrative; and Joseph Brant, for having such an interesting and influential history with Indian and Colonial relations, strikes me as being more than capable of at least getting a cameo or playing some part in the Templar / Assassin head-to-head. It would also tie in things you mentioned previously in the other chapters, like Christian conversion on the Indian nations, possible Templars in the Homestead finding Connor's secret room (a subplot which I hope BECOMES a subplot, that was an interesting and awesome cliffhanger, btw), more and more settlers coming in and Connor's people moving away, and so on. Just a thought!
On to your OC though, kudos for making him likable and a fun conversationalist. One of the most difficult challenges for a fic-writer is introducing an OC that has balance, both in character, and then also in tolerance. No matter how good an OC is, fans generally don't like reading about them, because they came to read about their favorite canon character, right? Lol. So, it really is a moment of awesome when the author takes such care and actually pulls it off, making them a character that neither steals the thunder from the canon charries, but also helps move the story along. Brant's dialogue with Connor and Norris feels natural and not forced, and at times genuinely funny - maybe a touch overboard in some areas, but again, it feels natural, and gives some insight to the new character we have joining us in the Homestead. :)
And of course, another great cliffhanger with Connor and good ol' Norris. Sure, we have possibly more protection around the Homestead, but what about the other essential needs of this new town, like a school? Simple concepts to big problems to be addressed, that make for a good plot and good setup to watch them all work together and off of each other. Rock on, ConstantTraveller!
| Yessian chapter 4 . 3/17/2014
This was an interesting one. I've always felt a personal connection to Ellen's character in the game; her story is one as old as time, but how she handles it, and then life afterwards, has always been an interesting area of exploration. Here, we do get tie-ins to her life before the Homestead, but we also get some other interesting details that don't often appear in other fics: she's curious, seems to have an innate sense of irony, is no stranger to odd tales and situations, and is surprisingly very perceptive to people and the environment. The whole sequence with her struggling to get the clothes through the door said little, but spoke volumes, and left a lot of potential for further depth and study on her.
My critique on sequence with Connor: now, Ellen has always struck me as a very no-nonsense kind of Lady - and, being no stranger to her situation, either, I did expect a little more of a reaction besides simply "fear". She's a woman trapped in an enclosed space, with a man she thought she knew and trusted that's suddenly turned on her...again. The man she married wasn't just a deadbeat: he was a very dangerous man that followed her and came after her and her daughter (the horror of which, in reality, cannot be understated). Through fear and trauma for anyone comes the "fight-or-flight" response: yes, we know Connor can be terrifying, and we've seen him wipe out an entire legion of Redcoats, rebels, and etc., but in this case, I would think that one of Ellen's thoughts would be to look for something to defend herself with, regardless - in this sequence, and the next where she closes the curtains. ("Get my kid to safety, look for a heavy item to swing". ) You know... "Just in case." ;)
My other favorite bit of this chapter was the kind of cliffhanger Connor left us on: "I cannot yell you, Ellen. But I can tell you that you're lucky you didn't interrupt them when they came for it." This whole portion started out as a lovely, ordinary, sunny day and ended with an even scarier implication, that someone as careful as Connor had not just forgotten and left the secret door open...but that SOMEONE ELSE had been in the house, might even still BE in the house, when she came by. (That's happened to me before when I was young...thank god it was just me and my mum home, because whoever it was must have been with us for nearly 24 hours, and we never would have known it if not for the open door and misplaced items that afternoon. Never noticed a thing..."Nothing is Scarier", indeed.)
| Yessian chapter 3 . 3/17/2014
I think this is my favorite chapter so far - and probably the most important chapter since the introduction of Father Timothy in the last one. You have a talent for subtlety, and most importantly, giving a second, third, or fourth dimension to every character we meet. Though Father Timothy IS a preacher, and does believe full-heartedly in his path and what he does, he's neither blind nor naive to the world around him, and does not actually spend his time blissfully on the path to his God. He's well aware of reality and the fact that people are different, but at the same time, does not condemn them for being wrong. But even better - he's no saint, either. I love this interaction with Connor, and Connor coming to terms with such a heavy and traumatic moment in his life; it says a lot about him that although he probably does not believe in the God of the English, he would still show up here to talk to Father Tim anyway, simply because he feels he has no one else to confide in. That's a very human thing. It says a lot about Tim, too, that he would let him in, and listen, without judging him personally, pushing him to conversion, or sugar-coating anything - he gives it to him straight, and it's a burden for both of them to bear. (This was just lovely, through and through.)
And the ending, hahaha. _ "In your patience ye shall win your souls."
| Yessian chapter 2 . 3/17/2014
On to the 2nd chapter! Stuff I liked in this chapter: Although I get the impression that Prudence is...a bit older than Connor...her tiny crush on him is hilarious. I'm sure they don't make 'em that fine often in her day. ;) I love Prudence and her family - who don't have enough written about them, either - and your characterization of her and Hunter was juts wonderful. "...Reminds herself to go to Confession after Mass." Fwahahaha. xD Throwing in the touch with her being of a tribal background too, really helps center us in the time and place of the story, too.
Hunter's bit reminds me of how I first learned to swim, too. :) Writing and characterizing children is very difficult, and I think you did a good job with making him very believable and easy to relate to.
Stuff I noticed: one of the elements that I've noticed, that really builds the immersion of colonial America and our Homestead in fanfiction, is that some authors will do a little research to back up a major / minor point or an idea, and make it clearer; in this case, Father Timothy's failed conversion for Connor, and Connor reacting almost aggressively in response. A historical tidbit that might have explained his reaction a little better, could be a brief allusion to the English's invasion tactics on the native Americans - converting them to their religion, skewing their ideals and outlooks towards each other and the war, and such. The same could especially be said about Prudence's background, too. (Also, because I'm not a religious or historical buff myself, was Catholicism widely accepted in that area at the time? There was some Protestant / Puritan stuff going on...but what do I know, lol. xD)
Overall, I like the subtle relationship between Prudence and Connor, and that in not knowing much about each other, they have more in common they think - and to me, kindof implied maybe more than to anyone else on the Homestead. Another great chapter!
| Yessian chapter 1 . 3/17/2014
Let me start by saying that it's WONDERFUL to read Homestead-centered stories; they're my favorite kind to read, and there aren't enough of them, so thank you, THANK YOU very much for writing this! In my opinion, this type of story is the most important in the fandom, period, solely because they humanize Connor by having him work off of other interesting characters, which wasn't something that we got enough of in the game. So again, thank you so much for putting the time, thought, and effort (and quality!) into something such as this.
I think my favorite bit of this chapter is Dr. Lyle's portion. Couldn't help but snerk at “But Lyle has always upheld his code of confidentiality so he simply pours him another glass of piss and pushes it into the man’s out-stretched hand.” Lyle’s section seems kind of tongue-in-cheek, like on the one hand, it’s a very serious and emotional moment, but on the other hand, it’s through the ironic POV of a doctor, so every time a line like that comes up, it’s just so funny. XD
So yes, good first chapter, and can't wait to review the others!
| Guest chapter 10 . 12/20/2013
This. Is. Fucking awesome! Your language, how you write it, everything! Argh, I love you ;-; never stop writing, you got that something, al right?
| Sticks and Bones chapter 10 . 11/12/2013
*looks at Update Date* NOOOOOOOOOOOO
I really like this fic. I too like to read of other minor characters' thoughts of the assassins and you've done this wonderfully and made it so believable especially with Norris and Myriam's reaction to the fact that Connor & his guild are still murderers.
I hope you'd continue this!
| Frosted Heaven chapter 10 . 7/15/2013
With the power of this review, may I spur thee into writing once more!
So, I just tore myself through this series and I've definitely enjoyed reading them. I do feel that the pieces that focused on individual characters flowed better; the chapters dedicated to the 'kidnapping' plotline felt a bit rushed ( I read quite a bit of grammatical errors D:) and not as well thought-out. Ah well, they were still fun to read :) And I always appreciate fanfiction dedicated to the side-characters. For the most part, I think you got down their personalities quite well, though I felt that Father Timothy was a little too focused on converting Connor, which, if memory serves, jars with what we hear of him in the game. Then again, that might be you trying to be more realistic where the game was more idealistic.
Dobby was a bit confusing, I felt the end of chapter 10 was a bit too sappy for her; she's a killer, as you established earlier. I'm not saying she can't feel (indeed, it's mostly her detached attitude to violence that hints at a slightly insane side of her (that's how I interpreted it, at least)), but how she felt or thought at the end felt too emotional, I guess? I don't know. I would've liked if the other Homestead residents could've participated in one way or another. Somehow, there was a bit of an anti-climactic feel to it. Anyways, please don't let the criticism discourage you, I'd love to read more of your writing on the Homestead residents :)
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/12/2013
pass. Connor taken down soo quickly and you seem to do an awful work in character development. Did you forget that conor has an entire order to call upon? Or that after the end of the game he retained control of the territories he gained? This is a fucking waste of time
| HaywireEagle chapter 5 . 6/17/2013
It's not a beanie. It's a knit cap (or since he is French Canadian. It would be a tuque. calling it a beanie irks me. . Beanies hug the head.
| HaywireEagle chapter 2 . 6/17/2013
Actually Connor's name means "life that is scratched" for his struggle to survive.
| zZ Sky Ninja Zz chapter 10 . 5/17/2013
| makeyourselfsmile chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
I'm enjoying this so far, but I'm not sure where you got Dr. Lyle's attitude toward Native Americans from. I'm not saying you're wrong about him, but Lyle comes across to me as a bitter but caring man that is most definitely above racism, and I got no indication from Homestead missions or what not that he would feel this way about Native Americans.