Reviews for A Real Life Adventure
HovaStrider chapter 1 . 3/3/2014
Too simple. Too fast. You need to add more detail and make it a little longer. Another tip, what was your character thinking of when all this happened? You need to find a perspective otherwise your story will read out like a learning to read book for toddlers.
Crystal Silvera chapter 15 . 11/25/2012
Sequel? WHAT?! Ah, well . . . loved the twist with the forgetting rock, I didn't see that coming :D

Another thing that kinda bothered me throughout the fic was the fact that I see about five commas per chapter. The sentences get choppy often, and words and names often repeated.

Believe me, after reading what I have, this isn't considered a cliffie at all ;)
Crystal Silvera chapter 13 . 11/24/2012
Nice, the idea of the Remembrance Mines is really original! I like it! :D

Also, it would be a great help to include a bit more detail or make the chapters a bit longer, something like that, or maybe more dialogue - anything similar. I don't mind slow updates either ;)
Crystal Silvera chapter 12 . 11/20/2012
Ooh, I love the dragon thingy! And Rage is the perfect name for it XD

Remembrance Mines? Niiiice _
Crystal Silvera chapter 10 . 11/19/2012
Wow, the Shadow Lord must really want Mark if he himself comes and tries to get him . . . O.o

Great chapter, I really liked it!
Crystal Silvera chapter 9 . 11/19/2012
LOL maybe it's time for Lief to get jealous . . . (just kidding XD)

No I didn't see that coming at all. So you got me there :)
Archiepoke123 chapter 8 . 11/17/2012
Great story. When I wrote the first review, I meant longer.
Crystal Silvera chapter 8 . 11/15/2012
Wow that was a bit weird . . . so both of them were Ols? Yeesh, talk about luck.

PS: It's "Lindal" ;D
Archiepoke123 chapter 7 . 11/14/2012
Good story. Though I recommend to make the chapters shorter.
Crystal Silvera chapter 7 . 11/14/2012
Excellent! I see that she's learning to trust him . . . a bit, anyway XP

PS: I just noticed - in all of the DQ books, the characters never used contractions (didn't, doesn't, won't, etc) unless they were pirates or Grey Guards.
Crystal Silvera chapter 6 . 11/13/2012
I didn't expect her temper to flare there, but oh well - you still wrote it out really well and did it in-character with her personality. That I respect - it's natural for people to overreact sometimes.

Loved this one too!
Crystal Silvera chapter 5 . 11/13/2012
This chapter is especially good :D love the Shadow Lord's thoughts, it seems very real.

Keep it up! And sorry about that, I just wanted to check.
Crystal Silvera chapter 2 . 11/12/2012
I saw this and, uh . . . I can't help but think my fic's idea is a bit too close to yours for comfort. O.o sorry if that was kinda rude, but it's really quite true.

So, I'd like to know - did you get the idea from my FF? I don't mind if you did, it's just that I'm curious. If you did use my idea, then do you mind crediting me? :3 thanks!