|Reviews for The Bear and the Mountain|
| thepsychicduck chapter 1 . 7/4/2015
So perfect. Very friendly ;)
| Great Angemon chapter 1 . 9/11/2013
I looked at, and chose this piece, expecting a cute thing with the Green and Red from the english releases. Imagine my surprise when I saw it was english!Blue. But I did like the story. I just got confused, is all.
I liked the part about Red being childlike still, even after everything that has happened to him. It really sticks to the character from the comics.
I also liked that Red was humming to himself. It just seemed *so* like him.
SPAG: I only noticed a few things that need to be fixed.
"Such a childlike act that seemed so..." I might put a comma after childlike.
"That was Green's hand." I think this would read better if you italicized "was" and said his, instead of Green.
"a sauna, a friendly sauna." I'd change this comma to a semicolon to make the pause more pronounced.
I hope my review was helpful to you.
| Kira the cat chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Such a cute and fluffy fic. I love the nursery rhyme. It suits Blue (or Green. All the same to me) well.
| CheddarTrek chapter 1 . 1/31/2013
You used "-"And what do you think he saw?" Green's treks up and down Mt. Silver are both a well-kept secret and all over the news." in italics at the start and in the summary, it is a quote from canon? Or just repeating the summary at the start?
I really like this take on Red's silence: People didn't understand most of what he said so he didn't bother to say anything.
I hadn't considered that and I find it rather hilarious. Obviously his pokemon can understand him (or I assume so), and that's the real vital part for him I guess.
The paragraph that starts with the comment about the Ursaring reads awkwardly. Not sure what exactly to point out to help you fix it, but it threw me off of the easy gait I had going through the story before. The tempering self-control / tempering into ice bit also read a bit strangely, and I wasn't entirely clear what you meant.
I do like the easy camaraderie you're showing. Not just between the trainers and their pokemon but between Green and Red as well. It's obvious they're close to each other.
/Red never breached the subject, akin to the silent agreement to never drag the male down./
What? I didn't quite understand the second half of that sentence. I like the theme you're putting forth about all the things that are unsaid, that they don't talk about, but it's not quite coming through as clearly as I think you want it to.
Ending though, that was great. You're here, so why wouldn't I come back? Fantastic. Also lends a lot of weight to the title, making this seem like a very aptly named piece.
| ballofstring66 chapter 1 . 12/1/2012
Hi, know nothing of pokemon so apologies for that.
You have a lovely turn of phrase - I liked this one in particular
'Even if it was just a tiny treasure, even if it was simply a tiny hope, something private'
I think some references went over my head but I loved the theme of Green being drawn back to Red, sharing a past and, to me it seemed falling in love?
I thought thiswas charming - it made me smile.
| Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
First off, that song's now stuck in my head.
Second, this is a fantastic little piece. I read the Pokémon Special manga with these characters and instantly fell in love with them. I love how you portray their friendship; they're there for each other and I like how you portray the difference between the two of them.
It's really sweet and straight to the point. I love it.
| SkywardDiamond chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
Heh, this was so adorable. I love the end, the way the friends ended up holding hands. I was thinking romance, but I really don't think you were implying that.
I like the tension in this, the casual dialogue with the sometimes poetic narration, and the way the personalities of the characters are summed up in such few words. You imply that these two have a long, complicated history, but it's really not necessary to know the details because it's obvious they have been through a lot and are close friends. There seems to be something unspoken between them, maybe unresolved. But in the end it doesn't matter because they're such good friends. I love fics like this that highlight tense yet strong friendships. They are the funnest of all relationships ;p
These guys are so human I forgot they weren't.
Anyway, this is a fun little story of friendship that definitely improved my mood a bit :P Especially the exchanges at the end. Very nice. And Red reminded me of the fandom I write in -Zelda- and how Link doesn't speak in the game. He speaks but you can't hear him, so everyone thinks he's mute or something.
| Verran chapter 1 . 11/28/2012
Not being familiar with the fandom I'm looking at these characters for the first time. I like that you are injecting some deep feelings and realism into these characters, I find it a challenge to build on canon and turn it into something more.
Although the references to backstory are clearly events that must have happened in-game I got a deep sense of the effect it had on both Red and Green. It was good to see the Pokemon themselves appearing without taking over the story, too.
After all the internalisation about past events, misconceptions and what could have been, the final exchange of dialogue made me smile. Its total lack of eloquence was a complete contrast to everything that went before, and it just WORKED.
This was a lovely short story, which worked on a level that even readers not familiar with the fandom can understand. Thanks for the read.
| Crow's Talon chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
I loved the nod to how Red never seems to speak in the Pokemon games themselves, and it was done very imaginatively. It's actually a relief to hear what he has to say. I've always wondered. I love the metaphor in the title, too. The interaction between Red and Green was actually very sweet, especially considering that canonically the two were childhood friends. Loved seeing their Pokemon too - Pikachu and Umbreon. :D
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 11/26/2012
I'm not familiar with the newer versions of pokemon or the games. I got a bit confused over where they were. I know they were on the mountain, but it also was mentioning a cave that the other lived in. That made me wonder where they were. Or was the cave on the mountain? I liked how Green kept bringing up what the media though or others thought and then giving the truth of the matter. For instance the part about Red being a mute and that the media had "coined that." That was a really clever way of explaining things. I rather like your writing style. The way you wrote how your character thought and acted was nice. I liked how the pokemon made an appearance, but they didn't overshadow what was really going on. "a furry shield over a rapidly arriving blizzard"-this was great. I loved the imagery with it. I could see the Arcanine in the midst of this arriving storm. It was splendid. For me, I kept hoping the song would tie in a little more, but maybe it would have if I knew this version of Pokemon. You kept Green's character very consistent through the entire story, which I enjoyed. He didn't waver, and you did a nice job of explaining Red and his character. Overall, this was a really nice read and you did a fantastic job.
| Ragnelle chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
I don't know the fandom, so if anything I say have bearing on that, please disregard it.
The beginning was humorous, as I suspect was your intention, playing on the title (or the title playing on the song - I fear I am not familiar enough with English nursery rhymes to tell for sure). Greens's grumbling was also entertaining, even if I don' know the characters or fandom.
I was, however, a bit confused at the POV in that paragraph. Was it Red or Green who has learned not to bother saying anything in Pallet Town? That was not clear. Judging from the POV, it was Green, but judging from the context, it makes more sense that it should be Red.
In fact, the thing that made it hardest for me to follow the story, was the POV-changes. Or, rather, a lack of a clear POV. You write as if you are following a POV, but it changes between Red and Green in a way that feel arbitrary.
"Green growled to himself, forcing the sound to be as soft as he dared sot he other wouldn't notice over his own happy little humming."
This is clearly from Green POV. The following sentences could be from his POV too, depending on how well he knows Red, but the sentence "Funnily enough (etc)" makes more sense from Red's POV. And the next paragraph, except to the dialogue which is Green's, also seem to be from Red's POV. And that makes sense until this:
"Red's crystalline ruby gaze (etc)"
Back to Green for a moment, and then to Red again, in the same sentence.
This is confusing, so try to keep the POVs consistent.
The story itself was sweet, though, and I liked the subtle realisation of the "Oh. _Oh._"
| HeroesAmongUs chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Very good. I've played the Pokemon series before so I assume Red and Green are the characters in each version. If not then I know look stupid. You had some nice words in here, strong descriptions like 'Red's crystalline ruby gaze' I love that word crystalline, not heard it before. Anyway, this was a nice short story. Well done.