Reviews for Harry Potter and the Snow White Queen
Chipseet chapter 2 . 3/6/2013
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiippp! This story is amazing! You really have a talent for writing great stories if this one is anything to go by! The original Harry Potter books are great, but this story is simply awesome!
god of all chapter 2 . 2/11/2013
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
RizzolixIsles911 chapter 2 . 2/10/2013
Great start. Very intriguing so far. Please continue soon
nymlover chapter 2 . 2/7/2013
great story cant wait for more
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 2 . 1/30/2013
Interesting theory about how the Kiss works.

-Zetsumei
pjvw chapter 2 . 12/31/2012
Cool storie keep writing can't wait vor the next chapter
deathbykitsune chapter 2 . 12/30/2012
liking the story so far can't wait for more
little-bast chapter 2 . 12/28/2012
Great so far...Keep the chapters coming!

Love Hedwig being the Snow Whote Queen!

I hope Harry heads to Gringotts and gets his inheritance secured if anything stolen get it all back an then some! Harry could sue for false imprisonment, loss of freedom, pain and suffering... maybe if they have to pay for thier mistakes they will ensure they always ensure it's a fair and legal trial so they wont have to pay again!

Will Gwen show the memories of Dumbledore's idea of a proper environment for a magical child being with magic hating abusive muggles?

Maybe have them all locked out of number 12 Grimmauld place!

Looking forward to your next chapter...
Can't wait to see what you have planned...
Hoping for an update soon...
badboys8520 chapter 2 . 12/17/2012
Great and interesting start to your story, well detailed on how Gwen got her soul to rejoin (dementor)body back like the Dumbledore and Weasley bashing ashame Hermione isn't at least on Harry side, but Dumbledore is in a position of authority so she'll believe in him 100% as that is how she brought up oh well, interested in finding Moody, Moony and Tonks joining the netural fraction, and Harry and Gwen's relationship develops, looking forward to the next chapter(s), update soon.
OSR fanatic chapter 2 . 12/16/2012
Great Story! :) Update Soon! :)
Stone chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
I've read a few Harry/Hedwig fics but they weren't as good :)
Guest chapter 2 . 12/11/2012
Thank you for the update, please keep on updating
Guest chapter 2 . 12/11/2012
*Warning, review is heavy on critique, if you want nice fluffy ones skip it*

Ok you have a lot of potential here but it deffinetly needs some work.

You need to think out your speech a bit more, Dumbledore is a politician, he would not make simple mistakes like this "She will most likely convert him to her cause. When we next meet Harry, he will definitely be a Dark wizard.". Not only did he contradict himself here "most likely" - "definitely", which makes him look stupid, he also alienated some of his followers probably considering there is an 'uproar' following this.

Thoughts are not speech, people generally don't think in nice neat sentences as if they are talking to someone else like you did with this paragraph "I remember the Snow White Queen. She actually wanted to recruit me back then, but disappeared before I could join. I wonder if that position is still available? What matters to me right now is that the Dark Lord is stopped and I don't think this group is my best shot in accomplishing that anymore, especially with Dumbledore feeding them this bullshit about Dark Arts being nothing but evil, as they can be used for good, and Light magic can be used for evil, like the Neutral faction says. I should try to contact Lupin and Tonks as well.". Reading this feels wrong, something along the lines of Moody wondered if the position she offered him back then is still available instead of direct thoughts would be one way to do this. At the very least, try to lose some of the background words like 'the Snow White Queen" being replaced with "she" or perhaps "Gwen".

These sentences have a few issues "It's a very old trick that an Animagus can do. Most Animagi don't know this trick, and since neither Albus, nor Tom are Animagi, they don't know it either. " The wording of "...old trick that an Animagus can do. Most Animagi don't know this trick" is awkward and could be one sentence ie "It's a very old trick Animagus trick that most Animagi don't know" Then she has ridiculous knowledge of either of them being an Animagi, for one she has been an owl for what, 27 years, so she can't have known what happened in the meantime. And second, even if they were Animagi when she was still around, how would she have known, they are both powerful figures for whom there would be many advantages to hiding particular talents, especially if there forms don't reflect well on them for political reasons. Unless it is important later that those two don't know it, just leave it implied that they don't/might not. If it is important you words like probably don't know it and leave the reason a bit fuzzy.

I'm sure I could fine more but these are probably the biggest things in this chapter that I could point out.
debora diskey chapter 2 . 12/13/2012
loving this very much
Tha Golden Boy chapter 2 . 12/12/2012
Interesting going into details of a Neutral faction. This site has always mentioned it but never going into deeper details.

I like Hedwig's character but she seems a bit too perfect. Hopefully we get to see some flaws in her as the story progresses, like jealousy? Also, I hope she isn't overpowered. That usually ruins stories before they can even progress. I would expect her to be a top tier wizard but not on Dumbledore and Riddle's level because of experience and probably greater depth of knowledge.

Anyways looking forward to the next chapter.
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