|Reviews for Memory Loss: The Hunger Games|
| bloody-rose-love chapter 6 . 12/29/2013
AWESOME PLZ MAKE MORE CHAPS XD XD XD XD
| Amyfoxflower chapter 2 . 11/24/2013
I thought katness and Peeta are the oldest. So are you doing prim and Gohan the oldes now?
| SuperKamiGuuru chapter 6 . 11/8/2013
I want to start off by saying that I do love the original premise of Gohan being dropped into the Hunger Games world. Good thought.
Now on to the actual story. It blows. Like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull level of crap. Bad grammar, bad punctuation, rushed plot, rushed romance, giant plot holes, you name a bad writing habit or skill and you nailed it. I would tell you that this was a level of writing equal to a middle school (read 6th grader in August), but that would be getting your hopes up as a writer.
My advice is to take the story down, run it through a decent word program that has grammar check, and then post it again when you can write in a better fashion. Or never write again. Your choice. Also tone down the romance between young characters and remember that Gohan was a humble and shy child, not a braggart who mentioned his power every twenty lines.
In conclusion, you are a terrible writer and you need to get significantly better before you post more stories.
| Saiyanfoeva chapter 2 . 10/22/2013
Just so you know and hopefully change it, Raditz said " It's 1,300 and still rising!". Also... The story is good, but it seems rushed. There's no way Katniss would be fine with Prim going in her place. PETA wouldn't let a little boy he called brother go either. Also, what the fuck?! Without Gohan, Cell would have destroyed Earth. He also can't stay SSJ for a year. He can muster a few months at best, and then would go back to base.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/20/2013
"you have no memory stay here"
"I don't know you but sure you seem like nice people"
"Kill him in his sleep
| 4 the wiin chapter 6 . 4/1/2013
They're 11! They shouldn't be be biting eachothers necks yet! God no! And not that romantic overall when they're 11! Ugh, try doing that with teenage Gohan!
Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to be that mean. But seriously, do heavy romance with older children. Otherwise it won't make me gag. Sorry if I sounded mean, but just think of it as heated up constructive criticism.
| 4 the wiin chapter 5 . 4/1/2013
Uh... rushed kiss? It was...the whole...story was...too...it was...too...straightforward?
| Emerile69 chapter 3 . 2/4/2013
I love the story, but can i just ask, are you using teamfourstar quotes for some lines?
| Dbzhorsegirl chapter 2 . 1/27/2013
I don't like this it's too straightforward and odd. What eleven year old vole trees as tribute for their 16/17 year old older sibling. Wtf
I respect your ideas though, but you should have put more thought into how you did the reaping and for how you started the fic.
| HPDBZfan729 chapter 2 . 12/15/2012
Love the tfs reference
| JDH1080 chapter 3 . 12/14/2012
I'm going to be completely honest. This story is better than the infamous Harry Potter fanfic titled...(oh god the name sends shivers doen my back because of how terrible it is.) My Immortal
Read just five chapters of My Immortal and you will understand just how bad your story is and how bad it could have been.
That's right, I honestly did not like this story and I consider it bad fanfiction. I actually hope that this fic is a joke, because that's how bad it is.
You had a really good idea, Gohan ending up in the Hunger Games, but there are so many problems. Like, where are the Zfighters? Aren't they looking for Gohan? Can they not sense his power level?
Honestly I could go on and on about the faults your work has but I don't have the time or time. Because your probably a nice person, but this was just bad. Id rather read Twilight. I'm sorry.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/1/2012
| Anon chapter 3 . 11/26/2012
Pretty sure he would have already destroyed the Capitol.
| DauntlesJay chapter 2 . 11/23/2012
I had to LOL at the flashback. Do you watch Team Four Star?
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/20/2012
I really like your idea. I always wanted to read a Gohan/Hunger Games crossover, but your grammer needs some work. Overlooking the grammer problem, I like your story. I hope you continue with your story