|Reviews for Zorro's Ride into a Trap|
| miXiZ chapter 5 . 11/17/2013
I really, really loved this story! Makes me wish for a sequel. Moneta is a great character and you captured her as well as all the other characters brilliantly. I loved the way she dealt with the revelation and how she helped save Diego's life. Very well done!
| WDZorroFan chapter 5 . 12/12/2012
I've come back to read this story several times, so I should probably delurk and tell you how much I enjoy it. I always liked Moneta. It makes me happy to find an author writing for her. I hope you will write more for Guy's Zorro.
| LaCorelli chapter 5 . 11/25/2012
Since I already reviewed the original version, I'm having to re-review as a guest to review the new ending, but it's definitely worth it.
This is a much better way to end the story. Everything has happened; it all matters. While I like the romance, it's the fact that it's not a dream that makes me happier with this ending.
Admittedly, as one of the few people who actually would have liked Diego to have ended up with Moneta, I do love the romantic ending. I always liked Moneta because she was one of the few women who seemed to genuinely like Diego as he was and admire Zorro without comparing the two, and I think you did a very good job of showing that aspect of her character in this story. I liked her acceptance of the real him, without either getting all clingy or insisting on getting involved. She came off as the perfect match for him, and I loved the ending with Diego saying he liked mornings too.
This was definitely a far more satisfying conclusion to the story.
| jkl88 chapter 5 . 11/25/2012
Excellent, I like the ending. What and when is your next story?
| IcyWaters chapter 6 . 11/24/2012
This is the ending that needs to be attached to final chapter!
I'm usually one of those readers who prefer our hero to remain single, free to roam the night. Diego giving up the mask would be the biggest mistake of his life. When authors give him a love interest, it often becomes an either "me or him (the fox)" scenario.
But Moneta is a breath of fresh air. She understands the need for the fox and even encourages Diego in the pursuit of justice. :-) She loves him - not just the scholar, not just the hero, but the *real* him. She even noted he had a hidden wild streak.
When she mentioned in the previous chapter how it works out perfectly since Zorro keeps to the night and she likes the mornings, it all clicked. I love how that comes full circle, with Diego revealing he likes mornings, too. Very romantic.
I will state it again: This is the scene this story deserves to end on. :-)
| IcyWaters chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
I cheated; I went ahead and read chapter six before writing this review. :-)
The first two scenes are pure perfection! I really enjoy how the story moved forward and Diego awoke in his room. Sergeant Garcia's concern for his friend and his boasting of capturing the Coyotes is spot-on. Your characterizations are excellent. It felt very much like a scene from the show. The playful banter with Moneta was dazzling.
One of my favorite exchanges is when Diego asked, "Senorita. Are you proposing?" :-)
I also got a thrill when Don Alejandro raced into Diego's quarters to alert him Tolenda took the pueblo under siege, demanding the release of his men and the reward money. It's not often we get to see Zorro furious, so his duel with the leader of the Coyotes was a real treat. I love that dangerous edge to him!
The concept of Tolenda fearing it was not Zorro, but a ghost come back to haunt him, was also exciting. It helps bolster the legend of the fox, who cannot be defeated. :-) Added to the humor with Reyes and Garcia (with our sergeant being the one to utter "catch him if you can" for a change) and it's a classic Zorro adventure.
That final scene did disappoint me. After such a grand escapade, I felt cheated. You hit all the right notes - then pulled the rug out from under me. I say this as someone who has used the dream plot device, too. ;-)
I understand wanting to have a mysterious and twisty ending, but I don't personally believe this type of adventure is the best suited for it. So I'm thrilled you posted an alternate ending, which I will now head over and review.
| LaCorelli chapter 5 . 11/24/2012
This is a hard review to write, since I enjoyed the chapter very much all the way up to the point where the whole story was a dream, and I say this as someone who's written dream stories. After having gotten involved with Diego and Moneta's struggles with the Coyote gang and his near death by poisoning, and even having a great climactic fight scene here, it is incredibly disappointing to have it all not matter in the end.
I know it's problematic to have so many men have seen Zorro's face, but I wish you'd come up with a solution that didn't involve that particular cliche. Diego has been accused of being Zorro before. And most of those men would never return to Los Angeles. Diego could always have been ill long enough for them to be taken away, and the gang wouldn't be putting the two identities together; it's not as if they knew the name of the man behind the mask.
Even the fact that it seems to have made Diego think about Moneta differently doesn't really help as there's no real payoff, and the mysterious rope burns just seem thrown in to add an ambiguity that doesn't really do anything but make it all the more frustrating. Did something really happen or didn't it? And if it didn't, what was the point?
I mean I really liked Garcia trying to negotiate with Tolenda. It was so him. I also liked how Moneta proposed, and Zorro's return from the dead. The climactic fight with Tolenda which was a very exciting scene. Alejandro's pride in his son. All great and all would be better if they actually happened.
| jkl88 chapter 4 . 11/21/2012
A witch doctor...I didn't expect that one. You're full of surprises. I look forward to the next chapter.
| LaCorelli chapter 4 . 11/21/2012
There's nothing quite like the feeling of having your ending come together after a struggle. I look forward to seeing how this turns out. I really like how you write Moneta, and I'm also glad to see to see the return of the Montoyas, especially the old medicine woman. A truly excellent chapter.
| IcyWaters chapter 4 . 11/20/2012
Another fantastic chapter!
The suspense surrounding Diego's poisoning has me on the edge of my seat. His weakening state and the ugly wound make me nervous. I'm glad Moneta is keeping her wits about her. If they had gone to the de la Vega hacienda and Alejandro and Bernardo were out, he would be as good as dead.
When Diego suggested the witch doctor in the hills, I nearly squealed. Could it be? It was a pleasant surprised to find Marya Montoya and her grandmother from "The Secret of the Sierra." I always liked the characters and I trust they will keep Diego's secret. The atmosphere of her home is spooky and fun – just like on the episode.
I'm also glad Moneta didn't get jealous at the idea this other woman knew him. That would be an easy route to take, but while curious, she has faith in Diego. Perfect. I also like Marya's advice: "Do not let him get away. He is the most humane being, not to mention handsome too."
But spider webs to keep infection away? Yuck! ;-) I'm eager for the conclusion.
| jkl88 chapter 3 . 11/18/2012
I'm glad Diego has his vision back. That was an exciting escape and I loved the defense with the frying pan. But you're being pretty hard on our hero...now you've poisened him. Please post soon.
| LaCorelli chapter 3 . 11/18/2012
Well, that's quite a cliffhanger. I really enjoyed Moneta's thoughts about Diego and the fact that she was actually useful in their escape. I always like female characters who do things other than faint and wait for the hero to rescue them, but I also like that everything she did seemed in character both for her and the time period. I definitely want to see the next chapter.
| jkl88 chapter 2 . 11/16/2012
Interesting. Diego is really brave and confidant for someone who has just been blinded. He's also tied up but still manages to comfort Moneta. I look forward to the next chapter.
| IcyWaters chapter 3 . 11/17/2012
Yikes! I don't know where to even begin. There are so many details I want to comment on that I am certain to forget the bulk of them. The beginning is a good place to start. :-)
I really enjoyed Moneta's thoughts on Diego. I have always envisioned them discussing books, poetry and the events happening in the pueblo. It's exciting to find someone else who shares this opinion. I also like how Diego is the only person Moneta shares this closeness to. Her reflections on his passion for battles and sword fights had me grinning ear to ear.
As much as I loathe Tolenda, I am relieved the man has some shred of decency. I fear what would have transpired had he not stopped his bandido from attacking Moneta. What a scary situation for her and the helpless Diego!
I love how Diego trusted Moneta to take on a pivotal role in their escape and how she came through with flying colors. The bit with the frying pan had me chuckling. I also liked her quick thinking with the horses to create a barrier between Diego and Tolenda.
But the poison! How can you end it like this? Please tell me there is more soon.
| jkl88 chapter 1 . 11/14/2012
It's so nice to see another Disney Zorro story. This one is off to a good start. Please post again soon.