|Reviews for The Perfect Hero|
| MPLily chapter 1 . 10/25/2018
This is legitimately heartbreaking. This is also one of, if not the single best deconstructions of the Mary Sue I've ever seen. Thank you so much for writing this.
| Alphaandomega1997Hardcore chapter 1 . 4/21/2018
this is some deep stiff bro but i think it hit the spot for me
| Michael dallas chapter 1 . 12/14/2014
| Lazurman chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
Very touching. An interesting take on a literal guardian angel.
| Malcho1234 chapter 1 . 11/18/2013
Mary/Gary Stu indeed, but still quite good and interesting, which surprised me greatly. However, maybe you should write a bit more to this? several one-shots that deal with the worlds that your character saved and a more in-dept description of how things changed because of him?
| Edhla chapter 1 . 8/25/2013
Wow, you weren't kidding about it being a heck of a crossover! :D I really like the theory behind this and the execution of it is never boring, though I had to go through a few mental gymnastics to keep up with the dynamics (which, I suspect, was part of the point...)
The first part seemed a little overwrought to me, and I wonder if "less is more" might work better here. I had trouble feeling pathos for the narrator because I felt the pathos was being given to me, not evoked in me, if that makes any sense? I liked the 'without seeing the sky again", but the third-person narrative left me a bit cold.
The HP sections were quite poignant, especially in what you chose to show or leave out; there were a few punctuation error, though. For example:
["No," that man repeated, glaring at the Death Eaters."]
"Charlotte disintegrated." Excellent, less-is-more line with impact.
The narrative in bold was compelling... I really liked "am I also happy?" That said, while formatting options on this site are limited, I wasn't sold on using bold text... to me, it comes across as text-based shouting.
I thought the last part was a little bit of a weak spot to leave it on; even the Anne Frank subtext didn't work as well as, I thought, the "can do for each other" ending, but your mileage may vary. "Annabelle Frank" seems to me to have a confused writing age; good spelling and grammar, but the tone implies she's much younger than that.
Anyway! This was a really unique and enjoyable fic... I don't think I've read one like it before. Thank you xx
| RandomNumbers523156 chapter 1 . 8/13/2013
" What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" Matthew 16:26. You know, reading this fic helped me to understand this verse from a diferent point of view. That was a true deconstruction of the gary stu archetype, you made a really engaging tale in this oneshot, good work!
| BWAH D chapter 1 . 5/22/2013
I cried a little.
| theunhappytwins chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
I'm not sure... But I think this story is sad. Very, very sad. The poor man...
| chronotimeguard chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
A character that could solve everything so simply and give happy endings to everyone. I welcome such a character regardless whether or not if they were a Mary/Gary sue.
But here is the thing. Such a character would solve all problems until no more problems exist then what would they do then? As much as I wish for happy endings and for the happiness of all characters that is something that one strives for, a distant goal that can never be reached because the reality is that not everyone can be happy. A cruel fact but that is life.
Even in fiction I seek a story where characters have to struggle for happiness and not have everything solved for them in such convenient ways. Perfect happiness may be something impossible to reach but reaching for it means you’re still trying and I think that is what defines someone. The pursuit of happiness.
That’s why I like your other story Living Fantasy because your character Tai is someone that can be related to. I dearly hope you continue that story soon.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
Dang that a little hard to follow but rereading it a few times helped. Still hard to get the overall story but like your description said its a test thing.
However it would please me a great deal if you continued with your Touhou story Living Fantasy. That story just interest me a great deal for some reason. Or maybe it's because your main character Tai is so laxed yet mysterious but very down to Earth. I like those kinds of characters.