|Reviews for This Old House|
| Guest chapter 18 . 1/27
There were a few typos and suchlike but I didn't bother pointing them out. God, I do not like these people.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/27
"His bride was so reviled by..." you are saying the monster hated the bride. "She was repulsed by..." is more what you mean.
| Guest chapter 11 . 11/23/2013
Been reading nonstop and can't see straight anymore. A few typos, nothing major, reads well, characters stay in character. Except you use the word "bespoke" incorrectly. It means made specifically to order, has nothing to do with speaking. Will finish another time.
| The-Creative-Brewery chapter 18 . 11/10/2013
Perfect ending to a perfect story. Bravo, Miss Margaret! BRAVO! *wild applause* You should make a stage play out of this...holy shit, that would rock! :D
| Eris128 chapter 16 . 11/1/2013
And so we bid farewell to Jason McGuire. For some reason, I don't feel like I'll miss him as much here as I did in the show. Probably he was a much bigger jerk here than there. And, yeah for major character development from Barnabas and Willie alike! Their relationship has changed so much since that first night where they first met. It is fascinating to see how far they have come.
| Eris128 chapter 13 . 11/1/2013
I take it back. That scene with the Mormons is the best bit in this story. Hands down. And, wow, our litle Willie is really starting to lose it, huh? Poor baby.
| Eris128 chapter 12 . 11/1/2013
"Back off, bloodsucker, or the naked lady gets it!" I believe that I have just found one of the greatest lines in this series. XD Aw, he tried so hard. It's really heart-breaking to see all of his effort, as misguided as it was, go to waste like that. And that last line? Just go and stomp on my feelings, why don't you? I want to hug him so hard and tell him it's gonna be okay. Poor baby!
| Eris128 chapter 10 . 10/31/2013
Can I just point out what a self-centered and uncaring b**** Maggie is here? I mean, yeah, I understand that she's kinda panicking about her life being in danger and all, but maybe just a LITTLE acknowledgement when Willie mentions that he already tried to save her once wouldn't be too inappropriate? Hm? Maybe if she showed a bit more compassion towards Willie and how his situation is rather similar to her own (sans the whole vampire bride bit) he might have been able to muster up the courage to help her again. Instead, she practically orders him to try to kill the monster so she can escape. Sure, she says that they will escape "together", but how long will that last for once the actually leave the house? Once they're gone, she'll go back to her happy normal life and poor little Willie will be left with NOTHING. Heck, he'd probably be pinned with the murder of Barnabas and Maggie's kidnapping.
| mad margaret chapter 12 . 10/30/2013
To Guest: In terms of the rewrite, I guess it's hard sometimes to know when less is more, especially if you're standing too close. Where your vampire hypothesis is intriguing, I cannot agree; to do so would be to negate the premise of story #6, Interlude, and it's a little late for that. A lady cop? That's not a deal breaker for me. That line could go. But Barnabas is in a small town, does not avail himself of modern conventions, and pretty much accepts only what he chooses to. During the rewrite, I formulated a definitive timeline that began at the end of 1956, which only pushed the my original story up by one year. I did this only because I'm lazy, it is a period with which I am more familiar and woud require less research.
To Eris 128: I don't know; what do you think Gene has? The bank? Okay, here's what happened. Barnabas gave Willie a gorgeous rock to pawn, which he took to an estate auction house in Portland and unloaded for a boatload of money. Well, after he played with it for a few minutes. Willie then marched the certified check to the Collinsport Bank along with the new account application. Never mind filling in spaces for ADDRESS: the old house at the left fork in the road, or DATE OF BIRTH: You don't wanna know. The manager gave Willie a hard time because she said Barnabas needed to appear in person (during banking hours) and present identification. This was overheard by Roger, who threw a hissyfit and informed the manager that if the bank was going to insult his cousin, the Collinses could take their millions elsewhere. The manager backpedaled and opened the account. You see rules don't apply to the Collins family
| Eris128 chapter 8 . 10/29/2013
Does Gene have what I think he has? Huh. Interesting way of having Barnabas's blood supply disappear. By the way, I LOVE the scene between Barnabas and Willie about how Willie has been forging Barnabas's signature all this time in order to pay for bills. Actually, wait a second, how the hell does Barnabas even have a bank account in the first place? As a former bank teller, I know for a fact that certain things are required in order to open an account, namely some form of identification. Driver's license? Nope. A birth certificate may be forgeable though.
| Guest chapter 18 . 10/29/2013
Sorry that I have been remiss of late. I haven't been able to read through your chapters to decipher which ones could use some lightening. But I did re-read this one, and the denseness has gotten lighter. I felt it first rather than see it. I looked again, and noticed that the last scene was written particularly well: "All is well", Barnabas said, gently removing Willie's hand. And so on. I think it is the choice of words that convey the depth of gentle and genuine feeling that Barnabas has for him. Perhaps he sees this as a way he can so-called "redeem" himself.
Remember when we were discussing logic and how you argued (quite appropriately) that you are the author, and that the laws of physics do not apply here. But I have since come to the conclusion that not only was Julie wrong, but Dr. Lang was too. The vampire condition is not a disease, but a symbiotic organism/virus that eventually takes over its host, copies him/her while destroying the original. It will remind a person of the organism inside the pod in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", "Alien", "Star Trek-Deep Space Nine" or better still, "The Thing". The vampire condition each has elements of the above in some shape or form, but the "The Thing" is more accurate. Therefore, it would be impossible to "change" Barnabas back since, he really is "dead" or at least, his original self is. The copy lives on, and Barnabas would know that.
By the way, I like the more direct overtones you put in there concerning Willie and his master. There's isn't any of it anywhere and considering the nature of humans and/or vampires, it only makes sense. And I enjoy the way you make it "sound" with Willie's mouth full of food.
Now, however, I must use the same pen that Barnabas used to cross off what he felt unessential, because of this: Did you not make this timeline more in the future? If so, Barnabas would be aware that there are female officers of the law. If you have not made this timeline closer to our own, then I apologize.
I will continue later. Stay calm and keep writing.
| Eris128 chapter 7 . 10/29/2013
Willie definitely brings up a good point when he asks Barnabas how many servants he used to have. I mean, he's only one guy, there's only so much he can get done in a day. By the way, shouldn't Barnabas have known what "pimp" meant since he has access to all of Willie's memories? Or was he just too proud to dig around in there? And here begins the downfall of Maggie Evan. I was wondering when it would start.
| Eris128 chapter 6 . 10/29/2013
This was definitely a clever way to explain how Barnabas was feeding every night while no other cattle deaths/missing persons were ever mentioned on the show ever again (unless it involved the main characters). God, I made the ugliest snort imaginable when I saw Willie's new title as "Vampire Pimp." I really love your portrayal of Drunk!Caroline; it was so in character I could actually here her voice in my head saying the lines. (Although reading how she was going to dump Buzz really got me steamed. Seriously, Buzz rocks man. He deserves so much freaking better. Okay, mini-rant over.)
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/29/2013
Well. That was... interesting. Was it just me, or was there a lot of, *ahem*, "tension" present in this chapter? Please tell me it wasn't just my imagination being evil again. And, did I read this wrong, or were Willie's pants down when Barnabas was, er, healing him? I like the reference to Hunchback here, it makes for a great parting line at the end of the chapter. Also, the throwback to Raquel was interesting. Not quite sure if it was really necessary, though; the chapter wouldn't have suffered without it and it seems like an unnecessary reference to your earlier work.
| Eris128 chapter 3 . 10/26/2013
Yeah! Willie got stuff! Ooh, and I always wondered why that other mattress was downstairs when they kidnapped Maggie. Finally an explanation! :D By the way, I really like the way you portray the psychic link between Barnabas and Willie with the hallway and the two doors. It actually kinda reminds me of the link between soul rooms from Yu-Gi-Oh!, but with your own unique twist on it. Nicely done.