Reviews for The zombie apocalypse from my point of view
Simon chapter 4 . 9/28/2013
I think the funniest part was when you were all
"I will run through the crowd of zombies and get them to go away from you guys." I grabbed her arm.
"It's suicide!" she looked at me with those same eyes that she had when she told me Ethan was dead.
"It's the only way."

NO
IT
WAS
NOT
YOU
ABSOLUTE
JERKWIT

A) you could have gotten that crossbow, and chucked it down the hallway to distract them
B) you could have gotten that fuel tank, and poured it in a line across the hallway and lit it, to make a firewall
C) you could have just ran like scared kitties and probably would have made it, if you were somewhat experienced in the art of firing backwards.

At least she made a somewhat irked zombie. (The best kind!)

"Joe had a scrape on his arm, but he didn't know if it was from zombies or falling on the roof." Well, in the true spirit of this, he just had to not tell you.
Actually, that should have given you a hint. If it be from falling, he would have said. After a few hours, he'd be proven right. If it be from us, and he said it was falling, you would have known after a few minutes (when he gets deranged) and shot him (or something, maybe eat his heart out, I don't know how you savages work).
He stayed silent, so you should have known it wasn't from falling.
Simple logic.

"We awoke to find Joe not a zombie, which was good." Or he could have just been pretending. Some of us can be really good pretenders if we want to.
Alternatively, it could have been one of those "Joe! You're a zombie!" "Oh yeah!" scenarios.

"I didn't know what it was, but it looked safe."
Uh, it was a building?
And unless you have x-ray vision, I suggest you get a layout of the building and completely survey it before you say it's safe. I don't care if it looked safe, zombies look dumb and we're anything but. One of the average horde members took an IQ test (he was really bored) and scored 153.
And yes, we can count.
Simon chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
"We lit it on fire and started to walk down the road in case there were any zombies nearby that would be attracted to the flame." You know what my reaction was?

Oh, there they are. No wait, they've scarpered. No wait, there they are! Sure was easy spotting them when they're not camoflagued at all. I guess I was looking in the wrong direction before.

Nice move, jerkos.

"We checked every car we came across to see if it ran. There were more and more cars, and more and more zombies that came with the cars." Well, duh. Had it ever occured to you that those cars had inhabitants, and they just didn't see the point in getting out and BEING MASSACRED!

"I also liked that it was a pickup instead of a car, because it had a stronger engine and a big trunk to store our items."
And me.
Thanks for the ride!
I no longer had to hang on and fear for my arms. You really did me a favour there, jerkwad.

You are so pathetic, just killing because we're partial to the occasional cranium?

I tried over-cooking udon noodles in broth, but it just wasn't the same.
I tried noodle-shaped meat paste, but it just tasted awful.
Not like *actual* brains.
In fact, it doesn't really have to be human brains, we can eat any brain, but it's like a T-bone steak, or offal and sweatbreads.
In case you aren't survival-toned enough to know what it is, it's organs like lungs, kidneys, the stuff your local butcher would usually throw away.

"and found some prescription drugs at the pharmacy section."
Okay, I won't even say anything about that. If you're stupid enough to take medicine that's not yours, and not for you, I'll just laugh when you become crippled by taking it. Take backache pills for a headache? IMMOBILISED YOU WILL BECOME. (Another group of survivors tried that, we picked them off real quick)

"The house was warm and smelled of cookies." Ooh, yay! Cookies! Perfect beacon for Living Impaireds (I shall now call us zombies just for your ease of reading for your immensely shrunken brain) to come and gather! Look! Meatsacks!

"decided to not join as a group." Yeah(!) Sure(!) Screw you, safety in numbers(!)
WHY DO YOU THINK WE ATTACK IN HORDES, EH?

"We did the smartest thing ever. We went toward the moaning and deeper into the station." I am actually having difficulty determining whether you are being sarcastic, or actually genuinely thought it was a good idea.

"I screamed out in a war cry" Right, now everyone knows where you are, instead of about 20% that looked away from the still-working iPad.
Idiot.

"I think that it was a pretty successful day." Oh okay. Are you counting the part where your best friend died, or did you just forget?
Simon chapter 2 . 9/28/2013
By the time I managed to catch up with you, a day or so later, you were nabbing some ciggarettes (honestly, you can be surrounded by endless zombies and still need a fag) and generally wasting your time.
Honestly.
Just... even we have more sense than that.
Ciggs make smoke, make you noticeable, get you caught, get you zombified.
Ciggs make smoke, give you lung cancer, get you weak, get you caught, get you zombified.
Idiots.

I stumbled out of the woods first, hoping to explain the dangers of ciggarettes (seriously, I had the best of intentions there) when you saw me, then the other 37 who had followed me, and floored it.
"Oh, yeah, cheers," I said sarcastically to the horde that had been trailing me for the past several hours.
Off I went again.
I was about halfway to where you said you got to, when you decided to turn back. You almost ran me over, but I popped a dead pig under your wheels so it would fool you.
I mean, seemed to do the trick.

Jeez, you savages. We're not dead, we're not undead. Take a long hard read of these following two words.

LIVING IMPAIRED.

That's what we are. "Zombies" are just more doomsday-istic.

I grabbed the back of your van/truck/whatever, almost losing my arm in the process, and held on until Green Bay, stealing some food whenever I had to.
When we got to the carpark, I left as soon as possible, to avoid your machette (who carries that around, there's hardly any jungle here) and ran straight to the school.

Long story short, because I think you already explained to all the wonderful readers out there, I found your sister, plonked her in the middle of the hall, and found a hoodie. I managed to look quite humanish the rest of the way.

Actually, I'm not Tyler. I just happened to have a hoodie, and hung on the rest of the way.

By now, I wasn't actually sure why. I just wanted a change of scenery, I guess.
When you crashed the car, I was, understandably, reasonably pissed off. I followed you whenever you weren't looking, and hid when you were. You thought you had killed them in a massacre (they're people too!), I was hiding underneath a pile of bodies.
I was determined... somehow.
Simon chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
Yeah, I "lived" near Green Bay. Right next to your house, in fact. I'm Simon, your neighbour (sortof) from a few houses down that you never met.
Do I feel dejected? Yes.

I got the news report around the same time as you, and being, what, thirteen, I was scared as hell.
And I mean scared as hell.
I hid in the bathroom, and waited. Stupid, stupid, I forgot to grab the pistol hiding in the basement. But for good reason. Dad didn't want me playing with it (for slightly understandable reasons, I mean, come on, I've got to get familiarised with it) so he made up some cockandbull story about it being haunted which I still believed.

They entered the house, and I heard it.
I heard it, and like any idiot, started screaming. They hadn't actually found me, the tap had started inexplicably running and my mind wasn't the most rational at that point, if you get my drift.
They broke into the bathroom, and it looked like there was no escape, but...

Yup, you guessed it.
There was actually no escape. I got zombified.
I mean, you might think we're all just *brains brains brains* but we're social butterflies, really. We just have a... less than usual diet.
Anyway, I saw your truck arriving at the woods, so I stopped to have a look, see if any of you had a cure (yeah right.)
But five others had followed me. I motioned for them to stay down, but they were even more curious than I was.
As I think you may have explained, you managed to skewer them quite efficiently.
As I think you will have implied, I was *really* pissed off.
I mean, I almost died!
Even though I technically am dead, so I don't really have anything to worry about.
But still. It's the thought that counts.

- Updates every Saturday/Sunday
FluffyRainbow chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
Oh yea you have got to watch HOTD if you love zombies. that stands for Highschool of the Dead.
glen chapter 9 . 2/5/2013
good chapter with an unexpected twist to it(:
ThatOneGuy2 chapter 9 . 1/12/2013
wow.
love it
ThatOneGuy2 chapter 3 . 1/12/2013
wow. so far so good.
Michael Kevion chapter 9 . 12/13/2012
I want to read more of that awsome story. There should be a action movie of this story.
Soccerdozer chapter 1 . 12/10/2012
I love it write more keep the good work up
crazyme16 chapter 8 . 12/7/2012
ooooh what a way to end the chapter
michael callahan chapter 2 . 12/7/2012
the story was awsome and that was a awsome save
Annabethsowl chapter 7 . 12/3/2012
Woot piper yay. Cool new chapt btw.
crazyme16 chapter 1 . 12/2/2012
nice book so far
crazyme16 chapter 2 . 12/2/2012
when you were talking about suzan and her eyes lighting up like wildfires you wrote he you forgot the r
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