|Reviews for The Next Lord of Kobol|
| bleme chapter 12 . 5/26
This is a great start. It is also the main reason that I started adding 'Status: Completed' to my filter. It really sucks to get 12 chapters in and then left adrift.
| madbrad chapter 12 . 5/2
In case any other readers are interested - there is a draft of a future chapter of this probably abandoned :-( story over on the Dark Lord Potter site - URL is https colon slash slash forums dot darklordpotter dot net slash showthread dot php question-mark t equals 22756. Or I guess you can search on that site for 'kobol' and 'jbern'. I'm going to mention some of the details of that draft here so readers might not want to read the rest of this review for fear of spoilers.
P.S. I *detest* the ... fascist? paranoid? jealous? ... attitudes of fan fiction dot net expressed in how they elide any web URL references to sites other than their own, forcing obfuscated gymnastics like the above. At least the last time I tried, a couple of years ago, this site would wipe out mentions of any external URLs. Ugh. Maybe I should direct my anger at the spammers that maybe drive such paranoia; although with captcha-guarded logins I would have thought the draconian censorship wouldn't be necessary?
I loved the H/Maggie romance of this chapter. You invested a lot of effort in exploring how they both reacted and considered their options, the repercussions of their choices, after their first kiss ... which made the ongoing "female companionship" all the more satisfying to witness. And also further convinced me that Maggie is a nice girl. :-)
Harry's dialogue with Winky was also gratifying to read. It's honestly very nice to see Harry treating the two elves as peers and friends (viz his 'keeping her company', feeling bad over her injuries, his concern over Dobby's mental problems - great stuff).
I was pleased that Harry became master of the deus ex machina stick. I guess we might have seen him use that 'sledgehammer' against the cylons at some point?
I really enjoyed this story, and I'm very glad that I discovered your drafts over at DLP; the 'ten year later' reunion between Harry and Maggie served as something of an 'ending' for these dozen chapters here on fan fiction dot net - a consummation of the romance - even if it also opened up the second act and left it dangling. As with any abandoned story - I guess your fascination with BSG is over now? I never got to watch the final three episodes, I got so disenchanted, and everyone tells me all the fans were disappointed with the ending - I suppose I'll watch those last three one day - I'm left with some questions and "I wonder what happened next?" suppositions. While I'm curious about Harry's history with the academy and why he was kicked out, and while I'd love to have read more of how he forged on as the sole wizard in colonial society - I really loved that theme, and how he used magic for *real* 'secrecy' - without Rowling's obliviator squad as a safety net - my greatest concern left hanging is how Harry escaped the cylon attack.
Did that tired old sneakoscope feature in Harry's deliverance? Did it spin and go crazy in the months/weeks prior to the attack? Did the sneakosope's antics figure in whatever caused Harry to be off planet when the bombs fell? Or was he safe in his magically protected greenhouse?
For some reason I'm just particularly fascinated in how exactly Harry got away. I imagine that would been one darn dramatic part of your story, chock full of suspense. After all, we readers *know* what happened, what was coming, and we've had your bloody 'before the fall of the Twelve Colonies' countdown ramping up the tension with every one of these chapters! I'm pretty sure you were going to deliver on that and have us chewing our fingernails as Harry, Dobby and Winky somehow escaped.
It's nice that you made Maggie ever so slightly magical; on the other side of the DLP second act it would have been nice to see where that would have gone. Magical children, certainly. :-)
Well, it was a very pleasant surprise to read this story, more jbern fan fiction, even if accompanied by the sadness of seeing that it is seemingly abandoned. I'll chime in with everyone else who has asked you to continue it one day. Thanks as always, best wishes to you, Brad.
| madbrad chapter 11 . 5/2
A very tense and frantic scene with Winky, very well done - I was really immersed in it as I read along.
- Somewhere in the great beyond, both his Godfather and his father were deducting points from his performance.
Heh. Again, love that integration of your Stone sub-plot into the other parts of the story, Harry's introspection as our story's narrator.
A pity that Dumbledore didn't pass on the Stone - I've loved what you did with it - but it would likely ruin your greater theme of 'Harry (plus elves) against the world' (which I have been greatly enjoying) if Harry was able to socialise with thousands of other magicals with three turns of the Hallow.
| madbrad chapter 9 . 5/2
More use of the Stone, this time as a 'Harry death' verification tool. I love it! That and Dumbledore then having a chat with Sirius.
I'm very angry that Malfoy and the bad guys 'won the war'. Damn it.
| madbrad chapter 8 . 5/2
I like how you've merged the polytheism of BSG so effortlessly into your story, it makes it very believable. And the final scene was quite cute. :-)
Harry's occasional thoughts of 'certain ghosts' observing his life, continuing the sub-plot of his experience with the Stone, are wonderful. Goodness knows how my life/outlook would change if I *knew* beyond doubt that this was the case. I'll say it again - I really enjoyed your imagination with what you did with the Stone.
| madbrad chapter 7 . 5/2
Heh, I liked the native intelligence you gifted Ron in that little flashback. I'd prefer to believe that Harry's best mate was something like that.
| madbrad chapter 5 . 5/2
- "You could always go lay another wreath at Black's grave."
Gah. What a b*st*rd your Snape is here. The animosity displayed between Snape, Harry and Remus had me on my toes with the tension.
- "Congratulations on sending Peter over to this side," Sirius said, changing the topic. "Little bastard won't show his face around here, probably stuck in some kind of purgatory for buggers just like hum, but I'll run into him eventually."
Glad you thought to explain this. I really enjoyed what you did with the Stone in this story.
| killroy225 chapter 12 . 5/2
it's to bad that this story has died, just like a lot of the other HP/BSG ones...
if you were to put up an update chapter or similar it'd be awesome *hint hint*
| madbrad chapter 4 . 4/27
I love this chapter. So much meat in it. It's just great.
Firstly the chat about Harry's future role in society was excellent, adding to the theme of the boy having to make tough choices. It's a pity that Hermione - the member of the Trio who was always looking to fight the inadequacies of the Ministry or wizarding society - wasn't around to cheer and help. The Weasleys were around for fun stuff like Snap and playing Quidditch, the games of children. Hermione was around for when Harry matured into adulthood (a pity we never saw it). Oh well, Harry's going to be far away from Hermione soon, I should stop the H/Hr cheer squad. It's a habit. :-)
Enjoyed also the introduction of the Hallows in such a practical manner.
Loved above all else your/Harry's use of the Stone. Rowling only inserted the Stone so she could have her cherished suicide cheer squad scene (one wonders what your Lily would have made of the mother who turned up to encourage her child to submit so willingly and meekly to death). I'm not sure I've ever read a story where the Stone was used in such a refreshingly down-to-earth pragmatic manner; a couple, probably, but it was still wonderful to read here. Loved it.
- ... he'd thought she was cut from the same cloth as Hermione. Instead, he saw she was sarcastic and confident with a personality that crowded the room ...
Hey, give Granger time to grow into her own personality and - sorry, I was going to stop the Hermione cheer squad, wasn't I? :-)
Anyway, loved the chapter, with Harry using the Stone ... and taking courage and support from the spirits, rather than being mired in angst and regrets. Great chapter.
| madbrad chapter 3 . 4/27
Damn. Vale Sirius. :-(
Burning some bridges here with the goblins, and making it harder for any reconciliation with the wizarding world, maybe, after the war is won. More tough choices.
| madbrad chapter 2 . 4/27
'Horcrux Location Devices'! Something that Rowling didn't dare allow in her poor story ... because then her 'surprise' of Harry housing a Horcrux would have been out of the bag.
So instead she kept that a surprise/secret ... and then had Riddle conveniently telepathically send his arch enemy a convenient list of where *every* *horcrux* *was* just so we readers conveniently knew he'd conveniently found them all. Pfah. I know which story is the more robust.
- Strangely, Harry found himself in the role that his friend Hermione often filled...the voice of restraint.
Okay, you know I'm a Hermione fan, but it *is* nice to see Harry mature - once devoid of the anchor known as Ron Weasley :-) - and appreciate - to some extent - her role in the old Trio. That's the first stage of a H/Hr story, you know ... I'm just sayin' ... :-)
Anyway, one very welcome element of this story is seeing Harry stand up and meet the challenge. Something you emphasised in the first couple of chapters where he had choices to make - Dumbledore (finally!) treated him as a mature teenager and Harry (finally!) stepped up to the plate. Good to see/read.
| madbrad chapter 1 . 4/27
I was so pleased to see this HP story from you! I love the 'energy' of your HP stories. Although I'm of two minds in setting it up as a crossover with BSG, so far away from the Earth, minimising any chance of Harry getting together with his soulmate Hermione ...
- ... Harry had started thinking about Ron's sister in a different light.
Run, Harry, run!
Jim, do you think the BSG galaxy is far enough?!
Okay, I can see from the story synopsis that this is H/Racetrack, but that's okay, because you're supporting my other primary 'ship - Dobby/Winky. :-)
You picked an excellent jump-off point for your story; Dumbledore's rationale for abandoning Hogwarts makes perfect sense (he wasn't to know that Riddle would conveniently turn up in front of half the Ministry in six months time).
Sirius may be 'awful', but he added nicely to the mix of banter between our three amigos.
| wsbenge chapter 12 . 4/7
Read the story again. I really like what happens after Harry goes through the veil, and look forward to Maggie discovering Harry's secrets. Presumably, they team up and learn for the coming war.
| Guest chapter 12 . 4/4
just reread this for the 2nd or 3rd time. Still amazes me. All your stories do. I hope you'll be able to find time to finish it, in the middle of your regular life, job, and writing career.
| wiskeymoose10 chapter 12 . 3/5
I know it's been a while but are you going to update soon? It's a good story and it would be a shame to abandon it.