|Reviews for Each mark|
| 348joey chapter 20 . 9/30
And Dagur is shoehorned in, with a misspelled name no less.
Ore doesn't have a specific color. There are many types of ore with many different colors.
Some of that didn't seem anatomically possible.
My opinion on this series remains largely unchanged, so I don't feel it warrants an amended review. A few things got better after chapter 9, but others, like plot integrity and consistency, got far worse. It's still below average overall for what I normally bother reading.
| 348joey chapter 17 . 9/30
Hiccup blacks out from falling down? I guess he fell on a rock or something…
On an island like Berk that he's lived on his entire life, he should know where he is. Even if he didn't, all he would need to do is follow the coast.
Hiccup is way too insecure. I'm getting tired of seeing that, but my weariness is mostly from reading some of another author's work where insecurity was basically Hiccup's only trait. I guess I can't hold that against you much then.
Yeah, I never really bought that idea of Astrid liking Hiccup before the events of the movie. She didn't even show hatred that could be a form of frustrated affection. She was completely apathetic. Hiccup wasn't even worth her time to make fun of. It shows how much she changed during the movie. The most emotion she ever showed him was a mild curiosity when he was acting "weirder" or in the deleted scene when he was sharpening her ax.
I also don't buy that she didn't want to be the best. She constantly trained and got pissed off when Hiccup outdid her in dragon training.
The thing with Key two chapters ago is still hanging. If you're going to introduce a strange, surreal setting like that, you have to at least try to explain it a little bit. Stories work best when there are some rules to its environment. We don't know what the fight Key had with Blackscree was about, what that thing that attacked Astrid was, why Key lives in a magic fake rock, where exactly her home is, how they got there, how Blackscree got there, why he has a room there, why he didn't want to use that room, what Key meant by "the end", or why she was concerned with where Astrid was when they picked her up. I don't like it when people insert characters into stories and give themselves magic powers that are never explained and don't even really matter. I know it's a drabble, but if you don't explain what the hell happened within the drabble itself, then it's still a plot that didn't end anywhere.
It was still better than the Big Lipped Alligator Moment in the last chapter though, even if the part with him meeting Freya was a bit strange.
| 348joey chapter 14 . 9/15
Something that I didn't cover in the last chapter is that it seems Tuffnut hasn't reached the point where he loves Misha yet. His utter bitterness and hatred towards her and what she believes in proves that he does not yet value her well-being more than his own.
"You son of a bitch that was mine!" (sic) Language Astrid. P
"It's a long story" (sic) No it's not. You rolled into the water while making out.
Most people wouldn't smile at hearing their parents' sex tales.
So, how does the title fit in?
| 348joey chapter 16 . 9/15
Okay… This chapter probably shouldn't have been made. Oh well.
| 348joey chapter 13 . 9/15
Oh no! He never got a chance to ask what they do with the socks!
I feel the insertions of "Gobber" would've been better with em dashes or parentheses. Still liked it though.
| 348joey chapter 11 . 9/15
"Very pathetically" That's actually a pretty good threat to use on Astrid.
I'd imagine Astrid's parents' reaction to finding Hiccup as something along the lines of: "Oh, it seems Astrid has another one tied to the bed again"
| 348joey chapter 10 . 9/2
"Astrid silently promised herself she would never do that in public, EVER!" Hah, I liked that reference.
"eyeing his sword, the metal one." Right, sure you are, Astrid.
Good contrast between what Astrid and Hiccup were doing.
I'm guessing by now you've realized that Hookfang is a boy. If not, well, Hookfang is a boy.
| 348joey chapter 9 . 8/26
And the plot… get stupider. I'm afraid I've lost interest at this point. So here's a quick review:
Characters seem to be acting mostly in-character except for Ruffnut. Tuffnut is depicted as an idiot who apparently never bathes. Otherwise, it seems fine as far as character consistency goes. B
The plot was mildly interesting at first, but it just got more and more boring. C-
Pacing was a bit odd at times. Some things seemed to just be skipped over or completely forgotten. Drabbles don't usually go anywhere, but I'd still expect the stories within each chapter to be more consistent. B
Spelling and grammar is bad. It's just above the point where I can't read it. I can understand roughly 90% of what was written. I usually know what the hell is going on. Slightly below average quality for FanFiction. C-
Overall: C There are better stories, but there are also worse. It didn't hold my interest for very long, but it still lasted about 8.5 chapters.
| G chapter 20 . 8/18
Oh my fuck. This story was amazing. No doubt! Shoot, unbelievably extatic-however the word is spelt. Anyways, loved it.
| Guest chapter 20 . 7/28
That was wonderful. Probably the best Sex Series I have ever read. U should try to make more about other various stories and people. I hope u continue to write.
| Guest chapter 15 . 7/16
| marcus.edwards.3323 chapter 20 . 7/16
| marcus.edwards.3323 chapter 18 . 7/16
see if Heather wasnt a bitch she would have win hiccup and astrid would to find someone else anyway or hiccup can be player and seduce both girls knocked up/impregnate the girls then later have the best orgy ever and while astrid is his wife he would have heather as the mistress and the contest on who can pop the most babies for him hahhahahhahahahaahahhaa
| marcus.edwards.3323 chapter 17 . 7/16
| marcus.edwards.3323 chapter 16 . 7/16
wow very nice i think you mess up a couple chapters with spelling but other then that its good