|Reviews for Heart on the Mend|
| Guest chapter 9 . 12/11/2016
RIP to this Fic, it was a good read.
| moneygreen932 chapter 9 . 9/3/2016
Just finished rereading this and I got to say as a story that is believeable and that can be taken serious for this fandom, your's is the only one that I've come across that actually does your initial plot plan, Yukari, and most importantly Uzume justice. This is truly a fine piece of work written by you and it sets up a lot of interesting potential things in the future of your story. I know that you said that even if life catches you that you will not abandon this story and I pray that that is true, it being two years since an update I'm sure you can understand my concern. Please do note that this is not a selfish person urging or demanding a return but a fan who's interested in the story and maybe in your future Sekirei projects, because as a fan of this fandom it is truly heartbreaking that most of the best stories are all uncompleted and only few that are completed are actually any good. This story and another potential one you make seem like they would be good to read and I hope that Life will allow you to be able to bless us with the rest of this great story and maybe even others. Not just for our entertainment but also for your hobbies sake of writing fanfics too. I'll eagerly continue to await your return and hope and pray that life doesn't get too hard or busy even if you don't make it back. I'll always be a fan.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/5/2015
Okay it's weird that minato isn't an ashikabi as well and are you really going to give her his sekirei
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/5/2015
Always thought it was weird nobody has a problem with yukari 18 being with shina 13 at the oldest while knowing she's a perv but they all think minato so going to do something to kuj who is 8-10
| Rekxyen chapter 9 . 10/13/2014
This fanfic is getting better and better, keep up the good work, and good luck on this fanfic, I await for the next exciting chapter, of this great fanfic
| blackgoku12 chapter 9 . 8/3/2014
Looking forward to the next chapter! Great stuff!
| TrueRedDragonGodEmperor chapter 9 . 7/23/2014
I'm pretty sure that Tsukiumi is stronger than Uzume. Doesn't seem very realistic that Uzume beat Tsukiume.
| Impstar chapter 9 . 7/19/2014
Dangit you had to leave things on a cliffhanger. I can't help but think they're going to start ruining Minato's future... or immediate future anyways.
Please update as soon as you can, this was a bad spot to leave it at considering the time between your updates.
| Impstar chapter 8 . 5/13/2014
I like the story a lot, it's a really nice and frankly not at all common twist Sekirei. Please continue to update when you can; real life is a b*tch at times, but I at least enjoy the story and eagerly await more chapters.
Higa is a bastard as always; I hope he gets what is coming to him. I also am eager to see just what you have in mind for Shirou winging someone; as I'll respect your wishes to not overly speculate on the reviews, all I'll say is that it can't be Uzume as she's already winged; thus, I'm not sure what your hint about the summary and characters is about.
Yukari is being a little snot, though she kind of was in canon as well. I hope she grows up and treats Minato better; even b*tches can learn how to be nice to people.
| ThePhenakism chapter 8 . 3/24/2014
Pretty good story, would be awesome for a continuation.
| vienx.001 chapter 8 . 3/8/2014
seems like an angst story,,
thanks the story
| TrueRedDragonGodEmperor chapter 1 . 1/26/2014
Sekirei without a harem? Weird! I'll have to continue the story to see how it is done.
| wingofpain chapter 8 . 1/15/2014
It's a rather interesting fic and a real breath of air in this fandom. It's kind of rare to see a simple pairing for minato and not a harem fic. (even if the harem is canon).
Moreover, Uzume is my favorite girl in the sekirei manga. (at least, the part i read before stopping...I can't stand too much harem ).
I admit that when Miya began to scold yukari i feared that Yukari would be bashed through the whole fic, It seems like it will not be the case..
Poor Musubi though...I never like her but still she shouldn't have suffered like that (, but I understand it was for the good of the plot.
I wonder what will happen next but such is the beauty of an AU fic.
anyway, it 's a good fic, even if there is too much, err what's the english term...the french term is "fleur bleu", so i will sum it up as romantic stuff, for me.
I know that as as mere reader I cannot request anything but can I ask for more Hikari/Hibiki/seo moment? they're absolutly awesome..
| liteMARGARITA chapter 1 . 11/22/2013
| The Flippant Writer chapter 7 . 8/25/2013
This story breaks my heart because it's SO close to being good, but it's teetering on being bad. It's a fresh premise, a diamond in the rough, and I can see the gleam of this diamond but it's still embedded in the rough. You have the right idea on everything that happens in this story but your delivery is lacking.
Your pacing was good at the start but then you just started rushing everything. Minato and Miya's bond seems like something that could've spanned half the story before they finally recognized eachother as pseudo-siblings. I didn't really feel much of the affection between Minato and Uzume. That was something that could've used more growth before Uzume let him down. It's an emotional goldmine.
Because I didn't feel that emotional growth, I couldn't quite understand Uzume's decision to physically strike Yukari and it just felt a little forced. The readers need to emotionally understand how much Yukari's brashness affects Minato's self-esteem before they can feel the vindication of her "getting what's coming to her". Simply mentioning she acted like that for years allows readers to say "Yeah, I can understand why she needs to be taken down a notch". But if you had built up to it, /showing/ the readers her arrogance and her rudeness, it feels much more personal and draws the emotions you want from your readers. So far, I feel like this has been a mash-up of instant emotional gratification.
You also seem to have a tendency to spout exposition via character thoughts. I would recommend against this because it doesn't sound like a normal thought process for a person to have and just ends up reading a little awkwardly. Keep exposition via either narration or dialogue. It sounds more natural.
Like I said, this story is RIGHT on the border of being good, it just needs some polishing. I don't like telling people what to do, but I, personally, recommend a rewrite. Spread out the subplots, it'll add a lot more text and provide a larger impact during the "big scenes". Happy writing!