Not bad

I like how you wrote the bond between Mana and Mahad in this. You can tell they care about each other (as siblings). The interaction between them is pretty realistic and how I act with my own brothers.

Mana is also kinda reminding me of Cameron from Twitches since she's drawing visions from her dreams. I'm glad you referenced that movie in this, even if it was unintentional.

As for your A/N, I defantly agree. I see Mahad and Mana being siblings, even in the cannon. Hell, Mana idolizes Mahad like I did with my own brothers when I was little! So I see it as incest and I really don't like thinking about that all since it really creeps me out. Also, even if they didn't, that pairing would still be creepy as hell since Mahad is in his mid twenties and she's in her mid teens in the cannon, so that's almost a 10 year age difference. I know there is a 8 year age gap between Joey and Mai. But thing about that is Joey in the manga was in the gang and had two jobs, so dating an older girl would be no big deal to him and he would be able to handle it no problem since he has been through worse. However, Mana is, while detrimined and strong, still is childlike and wouldn't be able to handle dating a guy that much older then her. Hell, I wouldn't be able to able to date a guy that much older then me! It reminds me of those stupid relationships where a teacher falls for a student, which I find even makes that pairing stupider. It annoys the hell outta me when people think they are in love in the cannon.

Also, congrats on getting into college, too.

Cool, I will wait for ch 4.

Hello,
Your story is really good! I love vaseshipping! Please write more; vaseshipping is so rare to read, especially good vaseshipping! Thnak you so much for writing this! My sister and I wil continue to read this story every update.

Sorry for the late review. I lost my internet last month and now I have like twenty updates to catch up on. But anyways, next chapter sounds like its going to be interesting. I'm going to take a guess that the hooded figure is either bad news or Shaddi. I wonder what other characters are going to crop up.

Hi! This is great! Please keep writing! I know reveiws provide motivation, but your story is amazing and I hope that a few good reviews will make up for everything! Keep up the good work!

Hey...this looks good! I like the plot, and it's interesting how Mahad and Mana have a strained relationship at the beginning. I've been reading Blue Eyes Cinderella too, and I saw your note at the bottom...therefore...UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! :)

The sad thing is that although this is good, because it's about a less popular character you won't get many reviews. Hopefully I'll later be proved wrong though.
Anyways story itself interesting idea since you are still adding elements from the series itself and not just making a movie rewrite. The writing itself is good as well.
The only issue I have is Mana's behavior and even then not an issue. I haven't looked at the original series in a LONG time so what I'm saying here is probably off, hence the not really an issue. I think I remember Mana being more energetic, rebellious, etc. Of course the fact that she didn't grow up in Ancient Egypt with magic probably factors into a different behavior. So again, not really an issue.

This is a pretty cool chapter.

The dream squence at the beggining of this was cool. I liked the slight blueshipping in that part too.

I liked the realationship between Mahad and the Professor in this. Hell, it kinda reminds me of my own stories a bit.

I find it amusing how Solomon was a toruble maker in his youth. Sadly, I can see him being like that.

I'm curious to see what'll happen when Yami comes into the picture.

Cool, I will wait for ch 3.

I like how you're making a vaseshipping mummy story. I used to have one, but it was so bad I deleted it a year ago. Trust me; this is better then my version.

I like how you give an explaination for why Mana is going to Egypt with Mahad since I a lot of people forget to add something like that. I like how Mahad is Mana's gaurdain in this.

Though, why is Mana acting very distance and complaing about the trip a lot in this? I know that her parents died and has to be raised by her brother, but that doesn't seem like a good enough explaination for her actions, especailly if this takes place a long time after all that happens. I understand people take death of a loved one differently and some people take it more harshly then others. Hell, I'm a behavoiurist (someone who beleives people are more influenced by their surroundings then gentics and that sorta thing) so I know that can effect a person big time. But if this is a long time after the death, I really can't see why Mana is complaining about going to Egypt and acting like a valley girl. If something happened like that to Mana, I can see her being in shock about what happened, crying at the funeral and being distant from others for awhile for a few months like most people would. Then about a year later or even less, she'd move on with her life and be almost the same girl as before. I knew a couple people who lost a parent, and they didn't act like a complete jackass a year later. So this charatcer shift makes no sense to me at all. Then again, I do something similar to this in my stories and make Mana still act similar to how you characterized her in your cinderella story, so maybe I'm extremly baised about this too. lol

I love that line too! Especially when in the Mummy Returns, Eve says "no harm ever came from opening a chest" and Rick reminds her about the book. :D