|Reviews for A Moment of Weakness|
| Lord Divestre Croft chapter 2 . 1/3/2013
As you wish.
I always found Hiram Burrows to be a rather pathetic little man (I'm not a fan of metrosexual villains). I'm planning on tearing him to pieces in a couple of fics, including Farewell, Gypsy.
And the lemon! I demand a lemon!
| Tajador545 chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Let me just say that I FRICKING KNEW THIS WAS TOO OBVIOUS! It's impossible to say otherwise given a few hints: the daughter Emily, Corvo & Jessamine's age, and the fact that the "Lord Protector" is playing Hide-and-Seek with Emily.
| LoveShattersWindows chapter 2 . 1/1/2013
Ah, reverse psychology. A woman's secret weapon.
I really like the tension and romance in this chapter. You can feel the sorrow from the recent lost and unfortunate situation that had happened only hours earlier, as well as Corvo's conflict with himself about his feelings vs. his position.
There were a few grammatical errors I found, mainly pertaining to the fact that EVERY time there is a change of speaker, you have to have a hard return. Every time; or else it can get confusing as the reader can think the same person is speaking, when it has changed.
It's kinda funny actually, last chapter you abused the hard return, and now you've missed where you actually need it. XD
Nevertheless, it was a good chapter. And I hope to read the next one soon. I do have some good references that might help you write the smutty part if you need help (ie. a link to an actual Victorian era erotica magazine)
| hEaRTlEsS gIrL chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
Hope you are updating your story otherwise I will hunt you down
| Lord Divestre Croft chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
Like opening a shaken bottle without realizing it was shaken. Hurry up with the update, pleazzzzzzze!
P.S. I've seen your book cover on DeviantArt.
| Ginyou Rinsom chapter 1 . 11/26/2012
Just finished Dishonored not an hour ago, Low Chaos and the prospect of Corvo and Jessamine having a relationship intrigued me. Enjoyed the story, waiting for the next part.
| LoveShattersWindows chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
Very dramatic and heart-wrenching. I like the constant drama and the bleak atmosphere you've illustrated, and truly enjoyed this piece. I felt myself clenching onto my chest as I heard Jessamine's exasperated cries, and Corvo's gentle rocking subduing his love's sorrow.
But alas you've fallen prey to the abuse of the hard return. While it can potentially be used very well to implore suspense, too much of this leads for unnecessarily short paragraphs, and the effect begins to lose its luster.
On a brighter note, I liked your use of similes and select choice of dialogue. Too many one/two-shots rely on pure conversation to convey emotion, when in truth too much dialogue saps the soul, and readers begin to quickly lose interest as they disconnect from the characters.
One thing that I saw that would be a simple and effective change (in my opinion) is that I would rephrase the last sentence.
"He protected her, his Charge, his Lady, his Empress…
The woman he loved…"
"He protected her-his Charge, his Lady, his Empress...
Why? Because you set up the sentence as being a series of "his (blank), his (blank), his (blank)..." so when you change the structure, it throws off your intended emotion.
tldr; Very well done.