Reviews for The Harrowing
pwashington chapter 13 . 6/22/2014
Let's experiment with renesme she is a hybrid the powers of a vampire without the stasis let's play god with her gene she was smart enough that in the womb she had enough sense to lessen her mother's pain muturing rapidly I wonder how she evovles as a character and genetically and great story
pwashington chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
You do realize twilight vampires were designed speficly were they were perfect and humans posed no threat to them per word of god anf I also read let me in to pure awesome excuse the spelling the to should be 2 I read your story
ataleoffiction chapter 13 . 3/27/2014
Ohh, this was wonderful! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, mostly for Jane and Alice. The end though, the end... it was nice to see the most bloodthirsty of them all choose to spare the lives of everyone. I hope to see more from you in the future.
JosephineSilver chapter 1 . 12/13/2013
I may be posting this from chapter one, but I have read 'The Harrowing' all the way through, and I love it.

The ending was delightfully amibiguous at the same time that it was beautifully and poignantly closed off. Basically, I would love to read more set in this 'verse, but I wouldn't be too crushed if you didn't write anymore and decided to leave it here.

You have great premise here, and I love the fact that you brought Owen freakin' Wheeler into it. I know some other readers really hate the guy, but I love him, and you apparently don't, as you put him through such horror. He's like the Rory Williams to your Steven Moffat.

Hoping to hear some more from you soon, but resigned to the fact that you might not,
- Jose
BellKatHerm chapter 12 . 11/21/2013
TV Tropes calls this fridge horror: realizing the negative future if the canon story is taken at face value. Makes horrifying sense (thus the term fridge horror). Vampires as Meyer presents them are on an inevitable collision course with a humanity that will soon gain the ability to destroy them. Clearly thinking ahead is not one of Meyer's strong suits. Good thing she knows how to take it off.
truth chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
Keep going this story is good
HaloMerk chapter 13 . 3/29/2013
Best sound bites in this story:

Their powers seem excessive. Not even vampires, really. More like superheroes on a restricted diet.

My plan is that I don't have a plan. I cram five capital pieces into a section of your line and figure it from there. So there's no use guessing what I'm going to do. I don't know myself.

What have you ever had to work for, Jane? You were born with a latent mental ability. Aro's bite turned you into a vampire. So now you have these amazing powers. Whoop-De-Do. Like I'm supposed to be impressed? What's so special about powers you didn't have to work for? You didn't make yourself this way, so it doesn't count. I, on the other hand, have to work at everything. That's what makes me better than you.

Three days pain is not a high enough cost. You got something for nothing, Jane, and the universe won't permit it. Entropy's a bitch. You've got to pay up, same as the rest of us.

You will own your greatest weakness and learn how to make it a strength. You will comprehend your enemy's greatest strength and turn it into the very weakness that destroys her. You will become the mightiest vampire the world has ever seen. And in the midst of it all, somehow, someway, you will figure out why you exist.

There was a price to pay for seeing the future.

It seems there's a job opening at the top of the food chain.

At the current rate of technological progress, vampires will be wiped out within the next two hundred years. Vampires will realize this within fifty years. And then vampires will try to halt mankind's technological progress before it's too late. That means in about fifty years, your species is going to try to destroy modern civilization. You'll hit the human race with some apocalypse that wipes out three quarters of the world's population and puts our technology back to the 1700's. You'll wait four hundred years, and you'll do it again. And you'll keep doing it, cycle after cycle, because it'll be the only way your species can survive.

I hate killing interesting people.

How dare you speak as though becoming a vampire is a positive outcome. Like it's something anyone should desire. I am a human being. Human! What are you? You're nothing.

All you care about is your own little world. Your own personal happiness. And if there are vampires eating people this very day - why, that has nothing to do with you. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. And the worse thing about it is that you're able to be happy. You know what vampires are doing. You know it, Bella. And despite that knowledge you're still able to feel content.
Yours is the happiness of the man who hears a rape victim crying for help, and instead of helping he shuts the window and goes back to his television program. So what if that loser is happy? So what if he enjoys his show? It's a monstrous happiness he's feeling. Sick, perverted, repulsive.

"I want you to give a damn about people you don't know. I've saved thousands of lives through the vampires I've slain. I don't know those people I saved. I never will. They'll never know what I did for them. They'll never thank me. I care about them anyway. They matter to me. I'm human. But there's no humanity in you. You were a self-centered, narcissistic Nazi long before you met the Cullens."
"You bastard," Bella muttered.
"Yes, I'm a bastard," Owen admitted. "But the people I've saved, Bella - they don't care. All they care about is that they're alive."

The only vampires I hate are happy ones.

Anger isn't interesting.

You're saying here's a woman who can affect the world by lying in bed stressing over it. Imagine how many women would love such power! To realize one's desires by obsessing. Don't get out there and solve your problems. Just dwell on them and feel anxious about them, and they'll magically go away. If word of this gift ever got out, half the women on earth would fight to become vampires, just for the slightest chance of acquiring it.

And growing up is what we need to do. I mean look at us. Attending high school over and over again? Seriously? You were right. We went along with the Volturi too easily. We were self-righteous and self-centered. We need to do more. We need to make the most of the Volturi being dead. We need to grow up.

I thought of having a vampire school years ago. That's why I know it won't work: because I was able to think of it. Your team's job is to be smarter than me, to come up with solutions I'll never think of.

Imagine a romance in Nazi Germany. A woman falls in love with an SS officer. She is so happy. But the key to her happiness is ignoring what's happening to the Jews. What kind of happiness is that, Bella? Is it something to be desired? Cherished? Protected? The American soldier who shot her lover through the head, ending her happiness - wasn't it a good thing he did?

When someone accuses you of being superficial, defensive whininess is hardly the best response.

You say there’s more to life than romance. I agree with you, of course. But what is life without it? Animals eat, and mate, and survive. They don’t know romance, though. It’s part of what makes us human. I say romance is actually why you do everything you do, Owen Wheeler. And somehow you’ve got to own it: saving people isn’t enough. People also have to be worth saving. They have to actually be human.

I’m a drill sergeant. Almost the same thing, I’ll admit. But not quite. Do not begrudge me the miseries I put you through, Mrs. Cullen. The necessities of combat training are what they are. One day you may even respect me for them.

To be undead means to have no hope. The future will never be better. It can’t be better. Despair strangles every longing, every wish, every dream, and grinds it into ash. In the morning you wish it were evening. In the evening you wish it were morning. To be undead is worse than death, for the dead enjoy this much at least: they feel nothing.

What’s the one thing that can make a concentration camp even more horrific than it already is? A happy couple living just outside the fence, indifferent to what is going on inside. The vampire world is a horror story, Mrs. Cullen. You’ve tried to turn it into a romance. But all that does is make it even more horrific.
The irony is that your impulse is correct. You want to make it romantic, which is a good desire, but you’re going about it all wrong. There’s only one way to make horror romantic, and it’s not by ignoring the horror and pretending it isn’t there. It’s by taking the romance, and turning it into a horror story.

Alice wondered if Bella really loved Edward, or if she was more in love with the idea of Edward. Did Bella’s heart swell with romantic love – or did it swell with love for romance?
nooneinpartic chapter 13 . 3/27/2013
They're going to lose Lucy by losing Owen. I'm interested to see more, to see how they avoid the dark ages to come. Sure you won't reconsider?
Guest chapter 13 . 3/27/2013
So, Owen is dead/dead? I surely hope so. (But then Lucy would be out of the eqaution, not having received her heart?s desire). Pity you are not continuing. In any case I do hope that my Bellas aren't ciphers.
nooneinpartic chapter 12 . 3/25/2013
Hummm... I think this was a bit anti-climactic, maybe over simplified. That's it? That's all Bella had to do to become interesting in Owen's eyes? Realize he was once in love w/ a vampire? He already knew they shared that in common. How does that change that she only cares about her own happiness and has done nothing to stop vampires from killing humans? I don't know as that makes Bella any more interesting in my eyes, that she can spot Owen's pain and loss. She'll have to do more to convince me. Eagerly awaiting what will happen next.
HaloMerk chapter 9 . 3/25/2013
Never could tolerate Bella's tolerance of all those red-eyed serial killers. But can she learn to care? Do Twilight fans care? Vampires are so romantic, right? Even if they slaughter a myriad of helpless humans. How did we get to the point of romanticizing mass murder? Are Twilight fans really that feather-headed?
Camilla10 chapter 12 . 3/24/2013
I have to say that Owen is a smug bastard - I won't be sorry to see him go.
I have a problem with bella and alice not missing their mates. It is not natural. I can understand that they don't fit well in your plot, but it is not psycologically sound that they faded to black.
richierich chapter 11 . 3/10/2013
Ha! So Jane isn't into the latest fashion trends from Paris! That probably comes from being turned as a teen during the dark ages, followed by centurys of wearing those hideous Volturi robes! That's at least one thing Jane and Bella have in common then. And I liked the bit about Owen having to continually kill off his bosses to keep them from joining the enemy. It sums up part of the dilemma he's facing. At least he's got some of the brightest "people" on the planet working on it for him. And it didn't escape my notice that after more than two months have passed there was no mention of Siobhan having been dealt with. I suppose that could become a recurring gag as months keep passing. It's always bothered me how little the Mayer vampires valued self-aware beings other than themselves. I just watched the dvd of Breaking Dawn part two the other day and it struck me again as I watched all those (good guy)? vampires in the Cullen home willing to help the Cullens and then casually step out to murder a self-aware being because "animal blood tastes bad". And the Cullens just accept this the way you or I might accept a house-guest's bad table manners. At one point Emmett even laughed when a vampire he was recruiting in (London?) murdered a human in front of him. I know human blood is probably the equivalent of crack cocaine for vampires, but if they don't at least wring their hands a bit at their "bad habit", I believe they are beyond saving. And too many of them seem to enjoy the act of killing people as well. Owen indeed has a difficult problem. I'm guessing you already have your plot figured out, and it doesn't involve any last minute Phlebotinum solution like making every humans blood taste icky. I can't figure where you are going with this story but I'm having a great time reading it. Well done on another fine chapter.
nooneinpartic chapter 11 . 2/23/2013
What about those who will discover them and want to become vamps too? They still haven't found a way to render vamps incapable of reproducing or of guaranteeing that no vamps will eat humans. These seem pretty significant. Using their brains for technological advancements, instead of merely graduating from high school 50 times, 100 times, isn't enough. Alice still has to remove those threats. Owen does like to dangle bait to all his puppets, doesn't he? Alice sure would like to find out more about her past, but chooses to look to the future, not the past.
nooneinpartic chapter 10 . 2/23/2013
I had a friend whose daughter had Down Syndrome. Apparently one of their habits is to always leave their mouths open. I spent some time in my friend's home and observed something that, at the time, I didn't understand. She tried to teach her daughter to keep her mouth closed by teaching their dog to keep his mouth closed instead of panting. She would train, correct, command the dog to close his mouth while her daughter was watching. Always, she would do this in the girl's presence. Young as I was, and not a mother, I asked her why she did this. While I don't remember her exact explanation, I came to understand that she wanted her daughter to choose, on her own, to close her mouth based on watching her mother praise and reward the dog for closing his mouth. My friend trained her daughter by not training her, but by allowing her to watch the dog's training and rewards. While there is often a place for direct imparting of knowledge through lecture, reading, and hands-on training, there is also a place for indirect methods as well. I think this is Owen's style with Jane. The fact that she is wondering why he doesn't tell her what to do or how to act means it's working. She's always been told what to do, what to think, how to act. Now she has to decide, for herself, what to do, what to think, how to act.

Hilarious of course that you're using Meyer's chess analogies. Now they are all to become queens, not just Bella, and they are to have a king! Wonderful!
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