|Reviews for Champion of Champions|
| Sasuke kuni chapter 44 . 6/17
i'm glad you're back. if you want ideas i would like to share some regarding grand festival and pokemon league
| Yaw6113 chapter 44 . 6/12
Please write the next chapter already. Thank you very much. I really appreciated it and liked it a lot.
| saptarshiban2003 chapter 44 . 6/10
I was rereading the last chapters a bit and picked up on just one little anomaly.
You've been slowly turning Adam into sort of a Pseudo-MC. Like, he can do everything - fight, train, date etc. And Ash can't. Shouldn't the main character be more important? You're making it look as if he can't do anything in comparison to Adam.
Anyways, the plot and the writing is excellent and I'm glad to see you up and writing again.
| jh831 chapter 44 . 6/10
out of the 729 stories i am following, you are the only one to update today 6/9/18. good job
| lars6109 chapter 44 . 6/9
thank u for a good read.. Hope life is on the upside again for u now
| Lover of Pokemon chapter 44 . 6/9
nice chapter! hope life improves, good luck with everything!
| Cbtry145 chapter 44 . 6/9
I was so stoked to see you finally had an updated posted. I've really enjoyed your story and I can't wait to see how you end it. Keep up the good work. Hoping for a new chapter soon.
| WhiteEagle1985 chapter 44 . 6/9
A great chapter here.
| Guest chapter 43 . 5/18
Omg! I just read all 43 chapters over the weekend and im hooked! Can't wait for the next chapter, best I've ever read. Keep it up, thanks
| Jai chapter 43 . 4/19
Hi. Are you gonna update this story? I've been waiting soo long, really hope you will continue the story
| maj12137 chapter 43 . 2/5
I read a lot of ash fanfics and so far you have the best battles keep it up
| vastolorde264 chapter 18 . 1/22
gonna have to agree with the guest review here, Ash has become the dumbass really. I do like this story alot but I feel Adam has become your main focus and Ash and May are not really progressing well considering there age now, Ash would know about love and that now.
| Rarely reviews chapter 19 . 1/18
Honestly, i seriously dont think you understand what a main character is. A MC needs to always be in the spot light, but Ash in this case is always being overshadowed by both May and Adam, he no longer fights, he is no longer the experienced trainer, he is no longer the hero now. You literally stripped Ash of all that he is in this story and gave it to Adam. Ash is no longer the kind and caring hero, he is the weak and insensitive side kick. You try to stack Ash up with all these accomplishments but then you tear him down with a random OC that can do everything better than him and did everything better than him in his past. You have gotten too emotionally attached to your OC that you made in your image and made him Main Character material. I have only read up to this chapter but i can already feel Ash falling into mediocrity while Adam fills in his boots. Ash is only there to further the romance plot that in truth is being redundant, how slow is too slow? Too slow is when they start kissing and the retard still doesnt understand, they could literally be having sex and he would just say "cos she is my best friend" just like every other character in the anime "my best frieennnddd". I would understand if Ash was actively denying it and thinking to himself "no, she doesnt feel that way with me" or "i dont know if i really love her" but no, he literally has the brain of a child who doesnt even have the word love in his vocabulary. And don't even get me started with Cynthia... honestly, you made her an emotional hormoned teenager
In short, your handling of the characters is poor.
| Rarely reviews chapter 17 . 1/17
Honestly, for the last 5 chapters i feel like ash is no longer the main character, you literally made him a supporting character albeit an important one. He rarely talks and when he does, it's during a battle or if it's outside of battle it's not important because all the actual lines are given to May or Adam, you literally made Ash so dense that he doesn't speak besides just agreeing with someone elses opinion or following someone elses choices or saying some cheap line of friendship and bonds, i know Ash is battle crazed and loyal like a dog but he is 21 yrs old, you dont become 21 yrs old, travelled the world and still come out a dumbass, it's called "experiencing the world" for a reason. Now it seems like Adam and May are the main characters while Ash is just there to fill in the romance and action tags by just standing there and receiving kisses on the cheek and to battle at random times.
This is branching off the first issue, what is up with Adam, he is literally a carbon copy of your depiction of Ash but you made him better or gave him whatever made Ash who he is and increased the proportions for his backstory, no i take it back, you made Red but changed his name to Adam. Ash wasn't raised with a father, Adam lost his family at a young age. Ash left home to do some serious and proper training after losing at unova, Adam was out seriously training when he lost his parents. Ash is dense, Adam can literally read a poker face. Ash is extremely close to people in high places like Misty, Brock and Cilan, Adam is childhood friends with Cynthia the sinnoh league champion. Ash fought against team rocket, magma, aqua, galactic and plasma, Adam has fought literally everyone that is remotely evil and as you have said the "real" criminal killers of those teams. Ash stopped in Unova, Adam has a Greninja, now this could have just been an issue with the time the story was written and when pokemon x and y was released but it still isnt right to give Adam a Kalos pokemon, you should have just cut off the timeline at Unova instead of adding Greninja in, it's kind of an insult now comsidering there exist such a thing as "Ash Greninja". I think what's most insulting though is the fact you made him stronger than Ash, you gave him a title, he is literally stronger than Ash in every way, in combat, pokemon battles, relationships, planning and generally being the hero. In the first couple chapters of this story you made Ash seem all powerful, strong and heroic, now that Adam is all of those things and more, Ash is literally sitting on the side, he isnt good enough to be the hero anymore because your original character came into the story and talks to May even more than Ash does.
In short, you focus too much energy on Adam who is just a better version of Ash. I know that this is only chap 17 and there are still like 30 more chapters at this time but i wanted to voice my opinion as i have noticed this for a while now, i do hope it gets better as i continue reading but i just wanted to send this review in because i agree with previous unnamed critique that was mentioned before about mediocre characters, they have backstories, they have emotions (or more in this case just angry, sad or blushing) but they do not have flesh, they all basically react to things the same way, all get angry at the same thing, sad about the same thing, blush about the same thing. They do not have flesh, they do not have individuality besides May just crying at every other moment. They need individual reactions, different resistance to situations, they need actual full blown out emotions, they're still around 20 yrs old, hormones are still raging, they aren't able to just switch from anger to calm with just one apology, emotions dont work like that, puberty doesnt work like that.
I just feel like this could have been better written, especially if you made it with original characters, you wouldn't be held back by personalities already made for the characters, you could have started from scratch, your character could have any pokemon, be whatever age you want, be in a relationship with anyone... you have that potential to grow
| Ayush Majumdar chapter 34 . 1/6
I like the Flash reference - Leslie/Livewire.