Reviews for Angela WildBlossom's Adventure
RoseQuartz1 chapter 1 . 9/2/2013
Daniel's mom has A LOT of pets. O_O
This is REALLY WAY TOO FAST. O_O And you're REALLY rushing the romance part. O_O What mom lets some girl she just met bunk with her son? Whaaaaaaa? O.O" ."
NightSkyWolves chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
Oh yea... Hey Armada Commander.

Mami: Same from me.
NightSkyWolves chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
Excuse that, my review was incomplete. My kindle messed up so I had to go ahead and post the review.

As I was saying...

The storyline shakes a little, detail could improve, and in some places last tense switches to present tense.

I hope you do not take this as a flame, because it isn't meant to be. Isn't this little box what reviews are for?
NightSkyWolves chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
An actual review from me? Wow... that's never truly happened before...

Mami: I'm as surprised as you are.

Anyway, for one thing, to start, there are some spelling mistakes. *Malistaire. *defeat. That's all I've found in that's category so far.

Secondarily, there is a variety of grammatical blunders. Always start a new paragraph when someone is speaking, and if someone says something without an exclamation or question mark, if you are ending their phrase there, do not put a period. A comma belongs there.

Thirdly, in the pet introduction paragraph, the pets could've been described this way:

"Amber," A firecat leaped into view. "Queen Shadow," a Dark Sprite fluttered gracefully into the room. "King Buddy," A bloodbat flew in behind. "And Pebbles," A miniature clockwork golem stumbled in.

And finally...

Mami: Tiro Finale?

No!

Mami: Whoops. Sorry.

-sighs- As I was saying... Finally, the storyline itself. I feel there could be a little more detail in some spots, like the backstory part. Maybe you could give some
more description there. It also kind of shifts a little, like where it went from the
talk of her staying with the family to the let introduction.
The Armada Commander chapter 1 . 11/23/2012
Just like every other story, but it was good. 'The sleeping in the same bed' part, I can easily believe that you're not a romance author. But some scenes were different from other stories. Try Angel of Dreams and Hope's path, or mine, or some other good adventure author that's kinda like a walkthrough. *Sigh* Sometimes I'm tired of Wizard101 and Pirate101. Oh, and for must of your problems talk to Firestorm, the author of 11 stories. She'll help you with the parts that I'm most likely not going to help you with.