|Reviews for The Mole: Tricky Enemy|
| Princess Toady chapter 22 . 3/3
Oh, a mission with the loved ones, I'm wondering what it's going to be...
There is something I wanted to tell you about, and I hope you won't take it the wrong way since it's actually constructive criticism. Now, I know that I might not be the best person to tell you about that since I'm French and you are Chinese, lol, but there was something that I wanted to say just so you could progress.
So first thing first, it's something that started to appear a short while ago. I've realized that you were using 'might' and awful lot, when natureally, native English speakers would go for 'Could'. For my example, I will pick your answer to my review actually, since there's one instance for which might was correctly used and one where I think it wasn't.
I feel like the first might in 'Might one of them be the Mole?' is actually correct, but really pompous, and 'could' would be more appropriate. From my classes in English, I have learned that 'might' is used so as to be extremely polite, as in 'Might you be so kind as to fetch me a water bottle?' or when you want to express a possible possibility, which means you are not even sure of the possibility you are referring to, like you said to me 'I think you might be referencing Kris' stories'. I can also express a risk, or something like that.
The second thing I wanted to talk to you about is the sequence of tenses. When you make your characters speak about the past, they often actually talk in the present tense, which is wrong.
Example here : "Boomerang took the bait and took himself out of the game, saying he isn't fit for this brain stuff. However, his results that night was:"
"Boomerang took the bait and took himself out of the game, saying he wasn't fit for this brain stuff. However, his results that night were:"
See what I mean ?
But anyways, that was just in order to help lol. Feel free to disregard it if you wish. Now I'm interested about the relatives, I wonder who they might be. For Daisy, I imagine Peach or Luigi. For Toadiko... Peach, or Toad or Toadbert, I guess. For Paratroopa, I would say Koopa. Rosalina could have a random Luma or Polari. And Junior has the most choices out of all of them. Either Bowser or one of his siblings / koopalings, depending on whether you consider them the children of Bowser.
I thought I had seen a clue but I can't seem to locate it, haha. *shot*
| Princess Toady chapter 21 . 2/26
Oh, surprising ! I expected Daisy to get the boot, but now the girls outnumber the guys !
I still think it's Paratroopa, as I expected, he decided to go for the exemption, but he also persuaded Rosalina to take it as well, so it's kind of like he lost twenty thousand coins for the team, not to mention that he helped her through the maze, which was what ultimately what made the team lose.
Toadiko should keep voting for Paratroopa, but although he's my prime suspect, she's slowly rising, especially since she was absolutely useless during this episode as most challenges were physical. Still think Boomerang sacrificed himself so that Daisy would have a chance to stay in the game.
Bowser Jr... I don't know, I've never seen him as a potential Mole... Rosalina and Daisy same.
My theory : Toadiko / Paratroopa / Junior or Rosalina make the final, Daisy is next executed
| nintendgal101 chapter 21 . 2/26
I still personally think it's wether Rosalina or Paratroopa. Can't wait for the next chapter. I honestly never suspected Boomerang Bro and it's kinda sad to see him go. I don't know I just think Rosalina is being oddly suspicious.
| Princess Toady chapter 20 . 2/25
Yes ! Paratroopa did something suspicious this challenge, and I expect him to also 'earn' an exemption for the next one.
What was suspicious of Paratroopa ? Well, he did everything in the Jail challenge, so of course I'm going to suspect him ! In my opinion, since he was directing the entire group, and since I didn't see them actually trying to figure out what was the best way of escaping their cell, I think Paratroopa may have precipitated their escape in an attempt to sabotage later down the road.
I mean, he seems great and everything, and apparently everyone trusts him, but seriously the dude is pretty fishy ! His confessional about how it was great that everyone was in panic had me raise an eyebrow or two, just like the formulation of most of his sentences.
Besides, it seems that the alarm was sounded only AFTER the players left their cell, which makes me think that maybe, just maybe there could have been a sensor triggered, so anyone could have sabotaged because the players simply did whatever and tried to leave the police station without a plan. They just ran like idiots, and I bet the Mole had something to do with it.
So yeah, Paratroopa. XD
Then Toadiko and finally Boomerang. But he's slowly and surely getting off my list.
And I agree with you to an extent, anyone could be the Mole. Since I also write Mole stories, I know what you mean, you probably designed all of these characters to be potential Moles. I actually do it too, I mean, I design suspicious characters and also characters that are not supposed to be perceived as suspicious (but usually people and I have different opinions, haha), but the thing is...
To me, Daisy and Rosalina were written off as not suspicious from the very beginning, I think ? I have no doubt that if you did read my reviews for the beginning of the story, you would find the two princesses very low, and Junior as well.
Simply because to me, they don't fit with my perception of a Mole.
| Princess Toady chapter 19 . 2/24
Wow, Rosalina sure was dumb during this chapter, and why does Paratroopa do nothing that looks like a blatant sabotage ? XD I'm going to doubt myself if he keeps on going that discreet.
Or maybe not, lol.
Looks like this challenge was pretty uneventful for the boys, but Paratroopa had a key role, which could have helped him sabotage if he was the Mole.
As I probably told you before, I don't suspect Daisy and Rosalina, so the only suspicious girl to me is Toadiko and she yet again sabotaged... So... She's going to be my second suspect after Paratroopa.
| Princess Toady chapter 18 . 2/14
I don't know... I think I thought clues pointing to him throughout the story and he just screams suspicious to me, haha. *shot*
Actually, rereading through the first chapter yesterday or the day before, I don't remember, I caught glimpse of something that could be another clue pointing to Paratroopa as well, which is why I'm so suspicious about him. Boomerang Bro seems to be a much too obvious suspect, even though I think he was my first suspect... But at the time he was often paired up with Paratroopa.
Anyways, in the first chapter, the host says something a long the lines of 'the mole will fly away literally' or something of the sort, I can't copy and paste but the words Mole and fly away are near each other so you'll probably understand which passage I'm referring too. The only player who has wings and can fly is Paratroopa, plus that's what he did during the first challenge, and while Boo did the same, he's just been eliminated. Add to this the title Tricky Enemy and it makes me suspect him even more.
Onto the chapter : I have a feeling Boo might not have stuck with the group, and I think Toadiko could be our future winner if she doesn't switch suspects. I think she's been suspecting Paratroopa from the longest time (the first challenge lol), and if I'm correct and Paratroopa really is the Mole, she has a chance. Otherwise, she's screwed lol.
TOADIKO DON'T HIDE IN A CORNER ! You won't be able to get away from the hunters otherwise.
Interesting mission, I wonder how they will do !
| Princess Toady chapter 17 . 2/11
Not Boo. :-(
I don't know why but I had this sinking feeling it would be him. The good thing is that now I'm even surer that it's Paratroopa... I think Boo might have placed some questions on Toadiko during the quiz, and did not vote for Boomerang... Had he voted for Boomerang entirely, I think he would have stayed.
I wonder what's the next mission, though.
| Princess Toady chapter 16 . 2/10
Yes, I'm glad Toadiko was able to secure her spot in the next episode ! I'm rooting for her to win because I like her a lot in this story.
So as I thought, Junior's treasure chest was under Monty Mole's position, which doesn't surprise me one bit. The malfunction at the end of the challenge was a possible act of sabotage, actually it is for sure, but we have no way to know who it was who spoke that line...
My guess is still Paratroopa. He was just so suspicious at the beginning and now he stopped sabotaging, which makes me think that he's working behind the scenes to confuse everyone else.
| NintendoMLP chapter 5 . 2/7
I hope Rosalina wins as she needs the money the most for her Lumas.
| NintendoMLP chapter 4 . 2/7
Yes I hate Waluigi! If I was ever in the mole I would cry if I was executed first since you will never be in the mole again. But hey, that's the game, right? Rosalina when she was talking about her Lumas was very cute. I have no idea who the mole is. I feel it would be so obvious if she was the mole so I am going with Toadiko as my top and Rosalina as my second even though Rosalina is my favorite player.
| NintendoMLP chapter 2 . 2/7
Wouldn't it be funny if Waluigi won the game since everyone hates him? No idea who is the mole now.
| Princess Toady chapter 15 . 2/1
So they failed huh ? Well, my suspect still is Paratroopa !
Why ? Because he's the only one who hasn't done anything wrong during this challenge, and that's pretty suspicious in itself ! (*lacks definite argument*)
I mean, it's kind of a toss-up between Paratroopa and Boomerang Bro, but Boomerang is much more obvious, so I think it's probably Paratroopa.
Plus I prefer Paratroopa, so he has more chances of being the Mole.
| Anonymous chapter 14 . 9/24/2013
Wow! LET'S GO SAVE JUNIOR! W00t!
I get this feeling they'll Epically Phail. Maybe because in sort of all the other mole fic I've read, they fail. FFW's mole, Krisetchers's first season, etc.
| Princess Toady chapter 14 . 9/6/2013
I'm even more suspicious of Paratroopa because I might have found a clue pointing to him as the Mole ! Well, it's a little farfetched but... I might as well tell you what it is :
You said that this was the Mole's world, that it was their game. The title of the story is : The Mole : Tricky Enemy.
Paratroopa is an enemy, and in Mario Tennis 64, he is one of the tricky players, along with Boo, which means he has strong effects on his sliced and even lifted balls.
But now I want to facepalm because Boo is also an enemy and he is tricky in this game. And in Mario Power Tennis for the GC, Bowser Junior is labeled as 'Rusé' which would translate to 'tricky' in English. And Bowser Junior is an enemy too. *shot*
Though, Bowser Junior is relatively innocent compared to Paratroopa and Boo so he's out of my list. Boo would be my fourth suspect after Toadiko... Well, here's my list :
2. Boomerang Bro
The others I don't suspect at all. Daisy's strategy is a little stupid at times, Rosalina doesn't sabotage and neither does Junior. I would be more surprised if one of my four suspects was executed this episode.
| Princess Toady chapter 13 . 9/6/2013
I kinda saw Birdo's elimination coming since she wasn't suspicious at all!
My suspects are the same as before :
Paratroopa in first just because he sabotages way too much.
Then comes Boomerang Bro because he sabotages almost as much as Paratroopa, but he's a lot less subtle about it.
And after that, it's Toadiko because she also sabotages a lot, but she's also very obvious so... I'm just thinking you might go for Paratroopa as the Mole because of your first Mole who was more subtle than most contestants.