Reviews for MY Little Girl
xlunatica chapter 1 . 11/26/2012
Good story so far but there are several grammatical and spelling errors that should be fixed to improve the quality. But overall a good start to a potentially wonderful crossover.
frostivy chapter 1 . 11/26/2012
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O! FEMALE HARRY! YEAAAHHHH! I am absolutely fond of the idea of kid!fem/harry, as I've only been able to read ones with the male Harry.
I loved the beginning of this story! It's very well written that I can picture the situation very accurately, which is a rarity mind you.I'm expecting more great and suspenseful chapters in the future for each and every update!
Oh and on another note-
Candian Bacon chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Such an interesting beginning. I'm looking forward to your next update. If you ever need a beta or just someone to bounce ideas off of. I'm your gal. Your idea is amazing here. I've seen male Harry being adopted by Tony, but never female Harry. Love the name and hair too.
ScienceImagineGreater chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Before I start, this isn't a flamer! I actually detest flamers.

Okay this is good but I suggest you either take the time to edit this or find a beta to do it for you. Be careful on how you word things with Adrian, remember she's six so she's going to have the thought process of six year old. Six year no matter how self reliant she is will /not/ know how to bandage herself. Nor would she refer to her punishments as beatings (I know you didn't finish writing that but by even writing "b-" it suggests she already is refering to her punishments as beatings). She's going to think it's a punishment because she was "bad". Trust me, /I/ would know for experience.

Also take into account that kids /don't/ trust strangers, unless of course they have RAD which then takes into account a whole different amount of variables. Actually you should look that up, it may actually work with the way you have paced this so far.

You have minor miss spelling, and you seem to write "i" rather "I" like it is supposed to be. Remember commas, semi-colons are your friends. You don't want to have fragments or comma splices, it reads weird and people might misinterpret what you are trying to say.

Hey, if you want me to I'll look over this fic (grammar wise) and hey I know exactly how it feels to write something that hits close to home. It's horrible, but even if you have to drag your ass writing the damn thing finish it. Believe, it's really theraputic. I'm not trying to say that I experience what you know what I'm gonna stop right here before it gets to personal. PM-me if you want to look over this fic. I can see a lot of potential in this fic, if you handle it with care.

LightLessStar chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Poor Harry...I mean Adrian. Good chapter!
Detective-Kingsleigh chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Continue please! Loved it!
bookfreak25 chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Great beginning i love the summery and think Adrian and Tony are exactly what each other need i can't wait to read the next chapter Please Update Soon :)
hadrianlopez1 chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
Love the beginning of the story can't wait until next chapter
1,433 | « Prev Page 1 .. 86 93 94 95 96