|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| brxe chapter 29 . 7/8/2013
I thought that this one was incredibly sad! So much wasted potential on Calci's part, I mean, if she really was that smart...oh man.
[He says she is brilliant like an inventor, long dead even before the Dark Days, who also had trouble reading.] I think that the comma is a little screwed up here, I had to reread this sentence a few times. I think you should do something like this:
[He says she is brilliant like an inventor long dead, even before the Dark Days, who also had trouble reading.]
Otherwise, I think that Calci must have been either dyslexic or maybe had synesthesia. This is my proof: [When she looks at letters, they are jumbled, sometimes backwards. But numbers always behave themselves.]
Poor Calci! I love her name too, like 'calculator'. She sounds like a good friend and a really bright girl...and then she died. Which sucks. But I still loved this drabble! It's one of my favorites so far, because you mentioned a real historical figure.
| ShadedRogue chapter 4 . 7/8/2013
This one's dark, but very powerful. I like that you picked up on Clove's vulnerability and expanded on it. In the books and the movie, we only ever see Clove as someone who's ready to kill; she's cold, ruthless - or as her mentor's put it: deadly, confident, cruel. I love the addition of "Confused" at the end as the last word, because it's extremely powerful. It reminds us that she's only a child, who has been told by her mentors that she's a killing machine, sadistic - it really reinforces that she's been forced into this.
| SunnyStorms chapter 9 . 7/8/2013
I love the contrast between the artificial climbing walls and her memories of home - crags in bark and fresh pine vs hand holds and coarse plastic. The detail of the memory of her brother above her daring her on with a cheeky smile was also a really nice poignant touch to further emphasize the loss of life and home. My one suggestion here is that I think the ending line, already strong in that it hammers home what's torn from these tributes, would be much stronger and emphatic without the adverb "really", and in turn, the firmer ending would make your whole drabble a stronger piece.
| ShadedRogue chapter 3 . 7/8/2013
Ooh, I really like this one. I like that you decided to use Glimmer's point of view in this drabble, so we get to see both sides of the relationship.
From this drabble, I get the sense that Glimmer doesn't necessarily mind being portrayed as a sex symbol so much, but the only person who she really wants to look at her won't, because he respects her too much. But I also get a sense that there's a bit of mistaken feelings, because even though we know that Marvel cares about her, maybe Glimmer, who is used to being sexualized, gets the impression that Marvel doesn't like her in that way because he won't sexualize her like everyone else does - because she's not used to be people actually respecting her. It's a bit heart-breaking, actually.
| ShadedRogue chapter 2 . 7/8/2013
I like how the Capitol sees Glimmer as a sex symbol and how they decide to portray her that way for the Hunger Games, while Marvel respects her too much to reduce her to that level. He respects her so much that he won't even let his eyes roam over body - he looks her in the eye and continues to do so. I do feel, however, that arse doesn't fit very well with Marvel's respectful nature. I think if you shifted some words around you could create a gentler description without throwing off your word count.
I'm a little confused about the purpose of Marvel's actions, where he's digging his finger nails into his palms. It seems like he's agitated, but I'm not sure if it's because she's half-naked behind him and he has a lot of feelings for her, or because he's angry with her that she seems to have no problem being a sex symbol for the Capitol, or he's angry with the Capitol for depicting her as a sex symbol in the first place.
| brxe chapter 28 . 7/8/2013
That was very melancholy, and very sad! I felt horrible for Woof, I mean, I think that he was trying to hear the girl, but at the same time, so caught up in his memories to do anything! That's really awful, in my opinion.
[There are some things you don't forget, even when you can't remember your sister's name. ] He forgot his sister's name, and remembered his district partner? I can just imagine a youthful Woof and an unnamed district partner falling to the ground, dead. And, in that moment, or maybe when he won the games, his memories were completely shattered? Who knows? Maybe in the arena he deliberately wiped his family from his head.
Your description in this was very good, I like the comparison with the factories.
| brxe chapter 27 . 7/8/2013
Okay, so this one also shows another side of the capitol. The punishment force. (is that right?) I can tell that Corren is very scared, I mean, her voice is faint and thin. I think that's she's about to pass out as they come for her, and who wouldn't? The Capitol is a very scary place.
[With the tributes at training the six mentors sit in a quiet huddle around the dining room table.] You need a comma between 'training' and 'six'.
Other then that, I think that this was a good ending to your little arc, if it was a little predictable. I liked it, I think you should do more little arcs!
| brxe chapter 26 . 7/8/2013
This one's a little different to me. I really didn't like how you used 'Prep 1' to signify which different preps were talking. I think it was too shallow; as in, more shallow then necessary, as Fallon obviously doesn't know them well, but he knows they'll serve a purpose to his and Enobaria's plan.
I think it's almost hilarious, these two lines:
[By the time the training scores are announced, he is willing to bet District 2 will have a new escort. Sooner, if the preps talk to another team before they leave the apartment. Would you keep a secret?]
Because Fallon obviously knows that the preps are all horrible gossips, which makes me laugh. As Katniss puts it in one of the books, her preps are almost like strangely colored birds circling her and the capitol. I kind of like to think they're all like that.
| brxe chapter 25 . 7/8/2013
Oh my! I'm really excited to see how the rest of this little mini-arc goes, I mean, it's really tense in that scene, I can tell. The two mentors plotting like that really is cool XD and I love how they're working together. I can kind of sense that they don't usually interact, they're more of acquaintances.
This made me feel like there actually were fingernails on my back: [He grits his teeth, but at least this has a purpose.]
And this, well, I think that this is an innocent question with a darker meaning... [do you have sharp fingernails?]
Overall, awesome. I'm looking forward to the next one!
| brxe chapter 24 . 7/8/2013
Good grief, Cato! Actually, I should be saying 'Good grief, Coreen.'
Anyhow, this one took me a few times to read over and try to figure out what was going on. I don't think this one flowed very well, it was choppy and confusing, but I did get it in the end, which was good. I think that this shows a different side to the Capitol then your other drabbles, I mean, you've shown how they love violence and the games, but you've never shown this, the whole prostitution business, and, not even prostitution, in this case, but just plain old sex. Obviously, it would be expensive to sleep with a victor, but with a tribute? I have no idea.
I think that Fallon must be a perceptive person, and I like that. Also, I'm wondering how Fallon could see that Cato was blushing, if it was dark in his room after he had just been woken. However, I like this other perspective. Great job!
| brxe chapter 23 . 7/8/2013
I think that I actually could tell a lot about Harley, just from this drabble. I think that he really is a kind person, maybe not sugary or hyper like Effie, but he is kind, and he does pity his tributes and wants to help them, for reasons unknown at the moment. He has, indeed TRIED to help them, and I think that's what marks that he's a kind person.
Obviously, this doesn't work, but I think that it's a mark of someone kind. And he knows, that nothing works, which means that he's somewhat intelligent and that he's learned. I think that this one really was kind of depressing. I also feel bad for Harley. Because he's had a rejected promotion six times. Just saying. I liked this one a lot.
| brxe chapter 22 . 7/8/2013
Poor little Rue! I never really liked her as a character, but I did feel sorry for her when she died, because she was so young, and all alone in the world, except for Katniss, who she barely knew. I think that Rue and Thresh had almost a sibling relationship, and I think you must have that headcanon too, because that's what I sensed here.
I think that this was really tear-jerking: [Maybe she accidentally said it out loud. Or maybe he knows what she wants by the tears that are collecting in his palm.]
I would definitely cry, too. For sure. I liked this one because it was so sad, but, at the same time, it makes me really glad I don't live in Panem.
| brxe chapter 21 . 7/8/2013
This one was really creepy, but it's mostly because Mer is hallucinating these things, and she's on the verge of dying, from what I can tell.
Of course, there had to be something like this: [The white bone of his ribs show through rotten skin.] Because I did look around, and apparently, Tracker Jacker venom causes 'horrible hallucinations'. I'm not sure if Collins meant that they were very realistic, or they were mentally terrifying, but you seem to have captured both definitions, so kudos!
I noticed a couple tiny SPaG things:
[Where are we going Jonah?] there should be a comma after 'going' and before 'Jonah'. Creative and clever names, by the way. I can tell that Mer was very close to her brother.
[Who cares little fish, we're going home.] There should maybe be a question mark after 'fish'. Maybe she saw an angel, appearing as her brother? I'd like to think so.
| brxe chapter 20 . 7/8/2013
Eh. I don't really like Effie, so I'm going to be, once again, a little biased against her. I don't think that this one was really very deep, but at the end, I think she did end up showing some emotion, for her credit. She was raised in the capitol, after all, and was probably watching the games for fun as she grew up.
This, I think, happens to everyone who survives a games. [He stares fixedly at something she cannot see.] So great job on capturing that part of the victors.
Overall, I didn't like this one as much, but, I think that it was still good, because of the things I mentioned.
| brxe chapter 19 . 7/8/2013
I find it really ironic that the guy's name is 'Drift' and he was buried at sea. Or is it just my horrible sense of irony and humor? Oh well.
I think that his burial sounds a lot like a traditional one from a really long time ago, where, exactly, I'm not sure. I guess District 4 might actually do a lot of sea burials, but who knows? I think that it's very interesting that you chose to write about his sea funeral.
This made my feels ignite: [The water, flat like glass, looks so hard, like it won't open to receive him. But it does.] in some ways, I think that the water must have been like home for him, but now, it's almost like, now he's dead, it won't take him. Obviously, it does, but still. It's a little bit bone chilling. I think I liked this one a lot.