|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| Hurlstien chapter 44 . 7/11/2013
[But now she dials] I think this may possibly sound better as: [But for now she dials]. Your call though.
Aw, poor Lilla. At first I thought she was just really not all that bothered about helping her tributes, that over the years of being an escort and not seeing any of them survive has taken it's toll on her. But then I find she actually does care. It was really sweet.
| Hurlstien chapter 43 . 7/11/2013
I could be wrong, but the first paragraph sounds as though Tabitha actually slept with a potential sponsor for the sake of her tributes. At least not all the Escorts are out of touch with the reality facing their tributes. It's nice to see one of them really trying their hardest to keep at leas tone of their pair alive. I really like how you merely suggest these things most of the time. It adds a haunting quality to it and lets the reader speculate for themselves.
| Hurlstien chapter 42 . 7/11/2013
I can't quite tell if Tabitha is trying to be kind or if there is a sinister tone to this last bit she says: [But don't worry; I'll be your mentor for this year.] It could go either way, for me. I dunno if I'm seeing things that aren't there, but for some reason I felt there could've been more to it than a simple comforting sentence.
The mentors painting each other made me smile, I forgot they used to do this, didn't they? :)
| Hurlstien chapter 41 . 7/11/2013
I liked how this one really highlighted the obliviousness of the escorts, thinking that the tributes would just forget about what's going to happen to them and simply gawk at how amazing the Capitol is. They are shamelessly proud of everything Capitol has to offer the tributes, but they simply don't understand. I'm sure they can't even begin to comprehend the feeling of being ferried to your (almost certain) death.
[The girl runs her hand down the gilt paint and a shimmer follows her fingers.] You've told us she's nervous and afraid by showing us not telling us. I know your a fan of doing that, but still, kudos to you for doing so. I always prefer it this way too.
| Hurlstien chapter 40 . 7/11/2013
I'm sure it was quite difficult to write about their reactions towards each after what they're having to do. Or maybe they a sort of mutual understanding that neither one wants to speak about it, with their eyes not meeting.
I don't have a sibling, so I can't even begin to imagine how that must feel, though I'm sure I would never want to wake up naked next to my own brother.
You seem to have what I like to call 'Power Lines' in each drabble, the one for this one would be: [They never mention each other, and in the morning, their eyes don't meet.]
| Hurlstien chapter 39 . 7/11/2013
This one's rather blunt in it's telling of the sexual happenings that go on inside the Capitol. It's actually kinda weird to think of the mentors as 'sex slaves' I suppose you could say, because they are so fearsome/strong/sneaky/smart enough to win their games. They've gone through Hell and back just to be used in such a derogatory way.
[Together Gloss and Cashmere make a popular pair to hire.] You mention a warning about incest at the beginning - I can't remember, but I'm guessing these two are siblings? Again, that's very Capitol-like.
| Hurlstien chapter 38 . 7/11/2013
Wow, great name, Sable Chantilly? No offence, but he sounds rather feminine, which, to be honest, fits with the Capitol; as far as I can tell, a lot of the men can be just as girly as the women there :)
Aesthetically pleasing district? Reminds me of Hitler and his obsession with the Aryan race. It's fitting of someone from the Capitol to take into account looks more than anything else, they are very much obsessed with it, aren't they?
| Hurlstien chapter 36 . 7/11/2013
It's sweet how you've described Annie wearing one of Finnick's t-shirts. I can definitely see it!
The way you've written this, if you hadn't have already stated in the title that Mags has had a stroke, I would've thought she'd died.
[The only sound is the hopeful tap of a gull's beak on the window pane.] for some reason I liked this bit. Great way to finish off the drabble.
| Hurlstien chapter 35 . 7/11/2013
This one brought a smile to my face. Cherry is a lot like Effie, in that she seems to believe that being a tribute is something to be proud of. It seems that the people of the Capitol all believe this, so I'm sure it's probably quite difficult for them to think that the tributes certainly don't want to be there.
I like how she doesn't bother to learn names, too. It's understandable; she's only going to know them for a short time anyway, but at the same time it's quite heartless and lazy, not bother to learn someone's name. It's almost an insult.
| Hurlstien chapter 34 . 7/11/2013
This one's quite foreshadowing of future bad habits, isn't it? I'm not that surprised that she picked up the habit from someone who's already been there before her. Someone who knows her pain and offers a form of relief from it. It makes sense for him to be the one to introduce her to the drugs. It's kinda sad to think that they feel that's the only way to get away from everything that's happened to them. But then, it is also very realistic.
| Hurlstien chapter 33 . 7/11/2013
This one was nice, with Harlan wanting to be in such beautiful places rather than his own district/ on board the train. To be honest, that train ride is probably one of the worst bits leading up to the games, because at that point, the tributes really don't know what's going to happen, other than they'll have to fight for their lives very soon. I'm sure they would be very anxious and nervous and afraid. And having Harlan dream of being in such beautiful places reflects that wish you get to be somewhere else when something bad is looming over your head.
| ShadedRogue chapter 47 . 7/10/2013
Ugh, my heart. I think this one is my favourite out of all of them. I really love the explorations of victors after they win the games and how the games end up changing them. It must be even worse for the mentors, because not only have they experienced the horrors of the Games first all and survived, but now, every year they have to keep watching kids who were in the same position they were once upon a time, go into the Games and not come back out.
"But Jersey had known; that's why he didn't say." - I love this line so much. It's so powerful, because it shows that the Games affects everyone involved, and no matter how many years you do it, how many years you mentor children hoping that they'll survive the Games, and no matter how many times you watch them die, it never gets any easier. The Games are so horrific that there's just no way anyone could ever become numb to that, especially if you've been there before. It's such a great and effective line to end the piece with.
| ShadedRogue chapter 46 . 7/10/2013
From the last drabble we saw him, I didn't realize Tallow had a cane. I love that you showed us how headstrong he is. Even though he has a cane, he doesn't want to be seen as weak. He wants to show everyone that even though he may be crippled, he's still strong and capable.
I also liked how he was unwilling to part with it once they were in the Capitol. He didn't care that he could get a better one, because he wanted the one his father had made for him because it reminded him of home. He didn't want to lose that last connection to home.
| ShadedRogue chapter 45 . 7/10/2013
"Chaff's white knuckles on the glass he holds shows it was not." - this sentence seems too wordy to me, and it doesn't flow very well.
"But Rue's quick, and the crowd love her," - the crowd loves her
I'm going to say goodnight to them. - missing punctuation marks
I don't really know what's going on in this one at all. I get that they're discussing the odds of the children in the Games, but I feel like there's too much dialogue that doesn't really explain much. Guessing, I'm going to say that the decision is probably that they decided to focus all the sponsorship money on Rue, because she's so young, so they want to give her the best chance. But, taking the "He asked me to reconsider" into account, as well as the statistics of most players winning if they were older, makes me wonder if they decided to focus all the money on Thresh, because they think Rue is too young to survive and is a lost cause. Reading it again, my latter guess seems to make more sense than the former, but I still think a lot of this could be conveyed more clearly.
| ShadedRogue chapter 44 . 7/10/2013
This one broke my heart a little. With the way it started, I thought it was going to be another example of a superficial escort who didn't really give much thought to the people who died during the Games. At first, she seems to casual about it - "Lilla is sure there will be no children coming back after tomorrow." It doesn't seem like she feels the emotion that should accompany the thought, especially when she calls the kitchens. Then, we get hit in the face with the fact that she does care, she cares a lot.
"After ten years, she cries for her tributes for the first time." - this line just killed me, and it ended the piece so nicely because it's so heart-breaking. She's been doing the job for ten years, acting the way an escort should act, but finally she breaks. It makes me wonder if a lot of escorts end up getting to the point where the job finally breaks them and while they can pretend to the rest of the world it doesn't bother them, inside it kills them.