|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| ShadedRogue chapter 35 . 7/10/2013
I really like the detail of the first line - there's a lot of attention to it, how the pen is gold-plated and how her teeth end up leaving small marks on it every time she puts it in her mouth to think.
Unlike some of the other escorts we've seen, this one seems completely oblivious to everything going around her, and it seems like she doesn't even realize how horrible the Games are. This really draws me back to the first line, too, where she jerks the pen out of her mouth because she doesn't want to leave marks on it. It shows us that she cares about superficial things like Capitol fashion and parties.
I really loved the part where the tribute mentions "cruelty" and Cherry doesn't even notice when the tribute changes her answer to "parties". It's like Cherry hears only what she wants to hear, so she doesn't notice when the tribute says "cruelty" but she notices the word "parties". The last line is also telling. "Cherry looks back down and misses the tribute's disbelieving stare." - she doesn't see the look, because it's outside the scope of her caring. Just like she doesn't bother to learn the names of her tributes.
| ShadedRogue chapter 34 . 7/10/2013
I love that you decided to explore what being a victor does to people. There's so much horror in the Games and everyone dreads being selected for it because they think they're going to die, but I don't think a lot of people think about what happens if they survive. I mean, you have the people like the careers who train for this, but most of the other distracts, the tributes are just children - they're just people who want to survive. When you become a victor, I wonder what they think is worse - having died in the Games, or having survived them?
It's tragic that most of the victors you see are all damaged. You have Haymitch, who's an alcoholic, and other victors who turn to drug addictions in order to get by because they can't live with what they've done. I feel like you've captured that sentiment perfectly in this piece.
| ShadedRogue chapter 33 . 7/10/2013
Another piece with very strong visual imagery. I feel as if I'm right there in the smog and dirt with Harlan, choking on the same air.
"As a district, among the whirring turbines and the stark, yellow hazard warnings, they do not breed victors." I love this line, but I'm not really sure why. I think it's because of the imagery it evokes, and the feeling of hopelessness that the people in district 5 feel because they live in such a terrible place. I kind of get the feeling that some of the tributes are glad to be out of there, even if they are, in most cases, only going to their deaths. The line "they do not breed victors" also has a double meaning. To me, it implies that in most cases the conditions of the tributes are already terminal - they're all dying of radiation, or lung cancer, or some other disease, so even if, by some miracle, they happen to survive the Games, they're already dead because their conditions are terminal.
| ShadedRogue chapter 32 . 7/10/2013
I love the vivid imagery of the description. The beauty and shock of colours in the explosion as the unnamed mentor watches, transfixed. I love the line where he's tracing the colours with his fingers. I don't know what a morphling is, but from your description of him watching the explosion so closely, I get the feeling that their, or at least this one, pyromaniacs, or people who find beauty in destruction.
"Grey smoke too, it winds its way up into the blue sky." This sentence is a bit off. I feel like it either needs to be part of the last sentence, or needs a conjunction in there.
| ShadedRogue chapter 31 . 7/10/2013
It really shows what kind of world they live in when someone who has the means goes out of his way to help the poor children in his district isn't allowed to, because if he does, the Capitol will resort to the horrible mistreatment of children in order to send a message to stop. Fallow just wants to help, but the Capitol promises him that if he doesn't stop helping them, the Capitol will make their lives so much worse than they already are.
It really conveys what kind of person Fallow is when he decides to continue what he's doing, but resorts to more secretive ways to go about it so no one else gets hurt. I have a feeling, though, that if the Capitol figured it out, Fallow would end up being the one on the receiving end of any future punishment. That President Snow sure doesn't like being defied, and likes to make examples of out those who try.
| ShadedRogue chapter 30 . 7/10/2013
Oh, wow. This piece really illustrates the sheer chaos and horror of the first few moments of the Games, when everyone is rushing to grab weapons and supplies, but end up being picked off by the stronger and fast players before they even get a chance to do anything. I like the pacing of this piece, especially the second paragraph, because the wording is concise to convey how fast everything around her is happening. She's running towards the spear, and the next second she's down with a fatal wound.
I love the contrast about the line with the bull, how it would take the time to make sure she was dead, whereas the player that stabs her doesn't have that time, and they have to run off and kill whoever they can as fast or they can, or else they may end up being the next one to die.
| ShadedRogue chapter 29 . 7/10/2013
I love how this one starts off simply, with a girl's love for numbers and math, but then it takes an abrupt, and dark little turn in the second paragraph - which I feel is an accurate representation of the way everything happens in this world. Thousands of young lives are cut short for sport, and all those smart little children who had hopes and dreams and big thoughts are all lost for the sake of entertainment.
The last paragraph is heart-breaking and so dark, because Calci just has to run the numbers in her head and she knows the odds. She knows that her chance of survival is minimal and that the odds are stacked up against her. The way the narrative says she "knows", rather than "thinks" tells of a different implication. It doesn't just suggest that she's already given up because of the odds, but implies that somehow, deep down, she just knows that neither she or her partner are going to survive. It's a gut-feeling, rather than a mathematical odd.
| ShadedRogue chapter 28 . 7/10/2013
I love your use of contrast here, again connecting the characters back to their home districts. The contrast is also interesting here, because you describe how it's like trying to hear inside a factory but it's so noisy that you just can't, and then you follow that up directly with how silent it is in the apartment, but Woof just can't hear the girl.
The girl reminding him of his dead district partner is an interesting comparison. In this girl, like his district partner, he seems someone who has been taken away from their home and forced to fight in the Games - and I think the comparison also reminds of the fact that this girl probably won't make it through.
At first, I didn't like the line about his sister, because I thought it was adding too many characters into the scene and I was a bit confused about what relevance the sister had, but reading it over again I like it a bit more and it actually makes a lot of sense. It's been 60 years since he competed in the Games, and in that time he's forgotten the people he was close to once, but no matter what happens and how many years of past, he can't get the image of his district partner dying on the battlefield. It really illustrates the horror of the Games and how much it affects the people who survive them.
| ShadedRogue chapter 27 . 7/10/2013
"You're wanted before the president to pay your debt." So, this line threw me a bit, but after re-reading and then putting the connection to what happened during the last few chapters, I'm thinking this line is literal in a manner of speaking. You said in one of your earlier author's notes that it was "expensive" to sleep with a victor, and then judging by the whole dating thing last chapter, I'm going to make the assumption that you do not get the privilege to sleep with a victor for free - so, hence, she has to go "pay her debt". However, how, exactly, she has to pay this debt is left omninous - which is a touch that I really like.
"When Brutus punctuates a point with his fist, her headache throbs." This line is a little misleading at first, because at first I thought he was hitting Coreen, instead of hitting the tabletop.
I liked the image of all the mentors pointing to her at once, which works considering we actively saw Fallon and Enobaria working together to set off the plan to get rid of Coreen in the first place. It really shows that the mentors are willing to protect their tributes.
| ShadedRogue chapter 26 . 7/10/2013
This one took a few reads for me to understand. I wasn't sure who the preps were supposed to be, but I'm assuming their people that have to do with making everyone took presentable on television. I really don't understand how that's supposed to get rid of Coreen though.
I think this is another thing I don't understand due to not being overly familiar with the series. If I'm guessing correctly, since the preps are talking about dates and "hiding the scratches", the dates are probably professional things he has to do. Like, a publicity thing that people pay for, because they want to go on dates with a celebrity - and, of course, it being the Capitol, a lot of people probably have that kind of money. So, going by this logic the fact that he didn't have a date that night, yet had scratch marks that implied a very rough time, they probably don't like the fact that someone ended up getting a "date" for free? That makes a little more sense, but I'm still not sure how it's supposed to connect back to Coreen.
Despite the implications of the previous chapter, this one seems to have a lighter tone to it. I like that the first prep is absolutely horrified about the scratches on his back and having to hide them.
| ShadedRogue chapter 25 . 7/10/2013
I really wish I knew who some of these other people were, haha. I'm going to assume Enobaria is another mentor. So, judging from the dialogue in this chapter, I get the feeling that Coreen's advances on Cato were more than likely unwanted, which makes Cato's reaction and sudden bursting into Fallon's room make a lot more sense. His boxers are on backwards, because he most likely grabbed them and put them on in a hurry and ran straight to Fallon's room. This also leads me to believe that the woman Fallon was sleeping with might not have been the other tribute, because here it looks like the mentors are going out of their way to protect the tributes from this kind of thing.
I wonder what the purpose of Enobaria clawing Fallon's back is. I guess I'll find out next chapter.
| ShadedRogue chapter 24 . 7/10/2013
This one is a bit confusing. I'm not exactly sure what's going on - and it's not made much better by the fact that Cato is the only person who I know in this story. I don't even know if the mentor is male or female; Fallon is a woman's name, but given the weird names in the series I can't be sure. So, I'm guessing the girl who flees the room was the other tribute? And Cato was sleeping with the escort?
I'm not sure what the last line is supposed to mean. His boxers are on backwards, so most likely something happened between him and the escort, but I'm trying to figure out the implications behind Cato bursting into the room in the first place, and why for Fallon "this is answer enough." Does Cato want to sleep with his mentor, does his mentor want to sleep with him? I feel like there's a lot of implication in this piece, but it's a bit too unclear that I don't know what it's supposed to mean.
| Hurlstien chapter 32 . 7/10/2013
I don't recall you writing a chapter from a morphling's perspective yet. I must admit, you done a good job with it; I remember how I pictured them in the book, wide-eyed and a little lost-looking, and you've managed to recreate that image for me so easily here with the descriptions of the colours.
I also like how you've left the morphling nameless.
| Hurlstien chapter 31 . 7/10/2013
[One boy has been whipped, lashes too big for his back.] I like how you've left it to the reader's imagine here, and I can only imagine the result of such a lashing. Poor kid.
Here Fallow learns the nature of the Capitol and then learns to be discreet in his generosity.
[Of course he isn't punished,] I think there should be a comma after [course].
| ShadedRogue chapter 23 . 7/10/2013
I really love the beat of your narrative in this piece. It's irregular, like the irregular heart beats, but it all flows together so well. This piece is great, because even though I know nothing about Harley, I feel like you manage to say so much about him in so little words. You don't have to say much about him, but your effective wording here tells me so much that it's almost as if I've known him for years.
The last paragraph is powerful, because despite his best intentions, there's nothing he can do or say to mask how horrible and brutal the games are. They are what they are, and no matter what he says to them nothing changes.