|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| ShadedRogue chapter 43 . 7/10/2013
A bit confused again about the mentors. The first line "It has been a full day since the pair of victors have surface" seems to imply that they've been missing and off doing their own thing, instead of helping their tributes, but it's not really made clear enough.
We get more of Tabitha, who shows, once again, that she's willing to step up to the plate and do more than she has to in order to help make sure that these tributes have a fighting chance within the Games.
I don't think this piece flows very well. To me, it seems like most of the sentences are implying something, but I can't figure out what I'm supposed to take from it. Is Tabitha the only one who's doing all the work to help ensure her tributes survival? Is that what the last line is supposed to mean? It's a little confusing.
| ShadedRogue chapter 42 . 7/10/2013
This piece is interesting, but also a little confusing. The first sentence where Sella's face "is a study" doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. I'm not sure what you mean by it, or what exactly her face is supposed to look like. It gives me the impression that she's looking on with concentration, but then the next sentence with her stifling her own giggles gives me an exact opposite image.
Not knowing anything about the distract 6 mentors, I don't really understand why they're painting each other's faces with gravy. Are they joking, are they doing it to have fun, are they doing it to amuse the tributes? Or, are they doing it to amuse themselves, and they just don't care about the tributes? The latter makes some sense, because you have Tabitha coming back and telling Sella that she'll be her mentor instead - implying that the mentors don't have much intention of mentoring. I'm afraid the meaning on this drabble is quite lost on me.
I do like Tabitha though. I find that you manage to say so much about her in just one sentence. She cares enough that she's willing to step up to the plate and help the tributes, and it sounds like she's genuinely concerned about Sella.
| ShadedRogue chapter 41 . 7/10/2013
I like how this one starts out with the girl seemingly taking an interest in the paint in the compartment and Stanton is excited, because he, being from the Capitol, is excited to show off all the fancy things and lifestyles that people in the Capitol get to have to people who have never seen it or had the chance to experience it before. It's effective, because it shows the superficial nature of the people from the Capitol. They think everything is all glitter and gold, because they've never known anything else, and they think coming to the Capitol should be an exciting moment for the people from the Districts - it doesn't occur to Stanton, until he sees the children crying, that the children don't want to be here because they're probably going to die.
I get the feeling that he wasn't expecting their reaction and he doesn't know how to react to it, so he just leaves the children to themselves, because what else can he do?
| ShadedRogue chapter 40 . 7/10/2013
Okay, this makes the last drabble make a bit more sense. I was a bit confused why Cashmere would make her brother more popular in the Capitol because the line "when Gloss becomes a victor" threw me off, because I got the impression that Cashmere wasn't a victor. But then, judging from the title, I guess she won at a later date. Which makes sense, because District One trains Careers.
I think this piece really shows how horrible the people in the Capitol are, and how they'll do anything to get their rocks off. This piece makes me really uncomfortable, so you're definitely doing it right. I really felt the awkwardness and tension of the scene - Gloss and Cashmere try to act all cavalier about it, like their situation doesn't affect them, but the fact that they can't look each other in the eyes really shows how not okay they are with it.
Starting out the drabble with the bit about them bathing together as children helps to illustrate how innocent they used to be, and I think it makes the rest of the piece more effective, because it's shown just how far they've fallen and how twisted their relationship has become outside of circumstances of their own.
| ShadedRogue chapter 39 . 7/10/2013
Wow, the Capitol is messed up. The most interesting thing I find about this piece is that Gloss seems to actually sound like he's disappointed that he's not as desirable anymore, now that Finnick is old enough and seems to be the centre of attention in the Capitol. It's sort of twisted in a way, because even though the victor's are forced into this type of prostitution, some of them really seem to crave the attention that it gives them.
I don't know if I like the line about Brutus. It seems out of place, considering the whole piece has been about Finnick and Gloss. I think instead of that line, it bit more explanation on how Gloss and Cashmere are a popular pair would work better. Judging by your AN, I'm assuming that's the incest part, but I feel like you don't really tell us anything about why.
| ShadedRogue chapter 38 . 7/10/2013
Here we get some insight into another escort who only cares about the superficial aspect of the Capitol and the Games. He appreciates that the people of district one are attractive, but it seems like that's all he appreciates about them. He doesn't care at all that they're people, children, who are going to be sent to their deaths.
It really illustrates just how shallow the Capitol and the people who come from there are, which ties into their extravagant fashion sense. Everything is in excess, which directly contrasts against the districts.
| ShadedRogue chapter 37 . 7/10/2013
I love this one. I like how the first paragraph is calm and relaxing, and Durum is reminded of home and feels himself moving forward to get closer to the image, and then, suddenly, the illusion is shattered by his district partner and you realize that they're on the metal plates, counting down until the Games begin and it becomes a free for all. His district partner's sense of urgency was nice too, because you realize just how close he was to stepping off the plate - which, if I recall correctly, will get you killed if you step off too early?
The last line was lovely, where they manage to share a small moment together that reminds them of home right in the last moments before the Games start.
| ShadedRogue chapter 36 . 7/10/2013
Well, now that I know Annie is not Finnick's daughter this makes more sense. I like the small details of this piece, Annie wearing Finnick's shirt, the oil stain from breakfast, her hair flopping into her face. It really helps to place me in the scene.
The second paragraph seems sad, but I think I would have liked a bit more coherency to it. Mags isn't responding to Annie, and I get that there's an underlying implication that Mags has died in her sleep, but it's not a very clear implication, so I don't know if that was your intention that yes, she did die, or if I'm just making a guess.
| ShadedRogue chapter 35 . 7/10/2013
I really like the detail of the first line - there's a lot of attention to it, how the pen is gold-plated and how her teeth end up leaving small marks on it every time she puts it in her mouth to think.
Unlike some of the other escorts we've seen, this one seems completely oblivious to everything going around her, and it seems like she doesn't even realize how horrible the Games are. This really draws me back to the first line, too, where she jerks the pen out of her mouth because she doesn't want to leave marks on it. It shows us that she cares about superficial things like Capitol fashion and parties.
I really loved the part where the tribute mentions "cruelty" and Cherry doesn't even notice when the tribute changes her answer to "parties". It's like Cherry hears only what she wants to hear, so she doesn't notice when the tribute says "cruelty" but she notices the word "parties". The last line is also telling. "Cherry looks back down and misses the tribute's disbelieving stare." - she doesn't see the look, because it's outside the scope of her caring. Just like she doesn't bother to learn the names of her tributes.
| ShadedRogue chapter 34 . 7/10/2013
I love that you decided to explore what being a victor does to people. There's so much horror in the Games and everyone dreads being selected for it because they think they're going to die, but I don't think a lot of people think about what happens if they survive. I mean, you have the people like the careers who train for this, but most of the other distracts, the tributes are just children - they're just people who want to survive. When you become a victor, I wonder what they think is worse - having died in the Games, or having survived them?
It's tragic that most of the victors you see are all damaged. You have Haymitch, who's an alcoholic, and other victors who turn to drug addictions in order to get by because they can't live with what they've done. I feel like you've captured that sentiment perfectly in this piece.
| ShadedRogue chapter 33 . 7/10/2013
Another piece with very strong visual imagery. I feel as if I'm right there in the smog and dirt with Harlan, choking on the same air.
"As a district, among the whirring turbines and the stark, yellow hazard warnings, they do not breed victors." I love this line, but I'm not really sure why. I think it's because of the imagery it evokes, and the feeling of hopelessness that the people in district 5 feel because they live in such a terrible place. I kind of get the feeling that some of the tributes are glad to be out of there, even if they are, in most cases, only going to their deaths. The line "they do not breed victors" also has a double meaning. To me, it implies that in most cases the conditions of the tributes are already terminal - they're all dying of radiation, or lung cancer, or some other disease, so even if, by some miracle, they happen to survive the Games, they're already dead because their conditions are terminal.
| ShadedRogue chapter 32 . 7/10/2013
I love the vivid imagery of the description. The beauty and shock of colours in the explosion as the unnamed mentor watches, transfixed. I love the line where he's tracing the colours with his fingers. I don't know what a morphling is, but from your description of him watching the explosion so closely, I get the feeling that their, or at least this one, pyromaniacs, or people who find beauty in destruction.
"Grey smoke too, it winds its way up into the blue sky." This sentence is a bit off. I feel like it either needs to be part of the last sentence, or needs a conjunction in there.
| ShadedRogue chapter 31 . 7/10/2013
It really shows what kind of world they live in when someone who has the means goes out of his way to help the poor children in his district isn't allowed to, because if he does, the Capitol will resort to the horrible mistreatment of children in order to send a message to stop. Fallow just wants to help, but the Capitol promises him that if he doesn't stop helping them, the Capitol will make their lives so much worse than they already are.
It really conveys what kind of person Fallow is when he decides to continue what he's doing, but resorts to more secretive ways to go about it so no one else gets hurt. I have a feeling, though, that if the Capitol figured it out, Fallow would end up being the one on the receiving end of any future punishment. That President Snow sure doesn't like being defied, and likes to make examples of out those who try.
| ShadedRogue chapter 30 . 7/10/2013
Oh, wow. This piece really illustrates the sheer chaos and horror of the first few moments of the Games, when everyone is rushing to grab weapons and supplies, but end up being picked off by the stronger and fast players before they even get a chance to do anything. I like the pacing of this piece, especially the second paragraph, because the wording is concise to convey how fast everything around her is happening. She's running towards the spear, and the next second she's down with a fatal wound.
I love the contrast about the line with the bull, how it would take the time to make sure she was dead, whereas the player that stabs her doesn't have that time, and they have to run off and kill whoever they can as fast or they can, or else they may end up being the next one to die.
| ShadedRogue chapter 29 . 7/10/2013
I love how this one starts off simply, with a girl's love for numbers and math, but then it takes an abrupt, and dark little turn in the second paragraph - which I feel is an accurate representation of the way everything happens in this world. Thousands of young lives are cut short for sport, and all those smart little children who had hopes and dreams and big thoughts are all lost for the sake of entertainment.
The last paragraph is heart-breaking and so dark, because Calci just has to run the numbers in her head and she knows the odds. She knows that her chance of survival is minimal and that the odds are stacked up against her. The way the narrative says she "knows", rather than "thinks" tells of a different implication. It doesn't just suggest that she's already given up because of the odds, but implies that somehow, deep down, she just knows that neither she or her partner are going to survive. It's a gut-feeling, rather than a mathematical odd.