|Reviews for 60 Seconds|
| ShadedRogue chapter 28 . 7/10/2013
I love your use of contrast here, again connecting the characters back to their home districts. The contrast is also interesting here, because you describe how it's like trying to hear inside a factory but it's so noisy that you just can't, and then you follow that up directly with how silent it is in the apartment, but Woof just can't hear the girl.
The girl reminding him of his dead district partner is an interesting comparison. In this girl, like his district partner, he seems someone who has been taken away from their home and forced to fight in the Games - and I think the comparison also reminds of the fact that this girl probably won't make it through.
At first, I didn't like the line about his sister, because I thought it was adding too many characters into the scene and I was a bit confused about what relevance the sister had, but reading it over again I like it a bit more and it actually makes a lot of sense. It's been 60 years since he competed in the Games, and in that time he's forgotten the people he was close to once, but no matter what happens and how many years of past, he can't get the image of his district partner dying on the battlefield. It really illustrates the horror of the Games and how much it affects the people who survive them.
| ShadedRogue chapter 27 . 7/10/2013
"You're wanted before the president to pay your debt." So, this line threw me a bit, but after re-reading and then putting the connection to what happened during the last few chapters, I'm thinking this line is literal in a manner of speaking. You said in one of your earlier author's notes that it was "expensive" to sleep with a victor, and then judging by the whole dating thing last chapter, I'm going to make the assumption that you do not get the privilege to sleep with a victor for free - so, hence, she has to go "pay her debt". However, how, exactly, she has to pay this debt is left omninous - which is a touch that I really like.
"When Brutus punctuates a point with his fist, her headache throbs." This line is a little misleading at first, because at first I thought he was hitting Coreen, instead of hitting the tabletop.
I liked the image of all the mentors pointing to her at once, which works considering we actively saw Fallon and Enobaria working together to set off the plan to get rid of Coreen in the first place. It really shows that the mentors are willing to protect their tributes.
| ShadedRogue chapter 26 . 7/10/2013
This one took a few reads for me to understand. I wasn't sure who the preps were supposed to be, but I'm assuming their people that have to do with making everyone took presentable on television. I really don't understand how that's supposed to get rid of Coreen though.
I think this is another thing I don't understand due to not being overly familiar with the series. If I'm guessing correctly, since the preps are talking about dates and "hiding the scratches", the dates are probably professional things he has to do. Like, a publicity thing that people pay for, because they want to go on dates with a celebrity - and, of course, it being the Capitol, a lot of people probably have that kind of money. So, going by this logic the fact that he didn't have a date that night, yet had scratch marks that implied a very rough time, they probably don't like the fact that someone ended up getting a "date" for free? That makes a little more sense, but I'm still not sure how it's supposed to connect back to Coreen.
Despite the implications of the previous chapter, this one seems to have a lighter tone to it. I like that the first prep is absolutely horrified about the scratches on his back and having to hide them.
| ShadedRogue chapter 25 . 7/10/2013
I really wish I knew who some of these other people were, haha. I'm going to assume Enobaria is another mentor. So, judging from the dialogue in this chapter, I get the feeling that Coreen's advances on Cato were more than likely unwanted, which makes Cato's reaction and sudden bursting into Fallon's room make a lot more sense. His boxers are on backwards, because he most likely grabbed them and put them on in a hurry and ran straight to Fallon's room. This also leads me to believe that the woman Fallon was sleeping with might not have been the other tribute, because here it looks like the mentors are going out of their way to protect the tributes from this kind of thing.
I wonder what the purpose of Enobaria clawing Fallon's back is. I guess I'll find out next chapter.
| ShadedRogue chapter 24 . 7/10/2013
This one is a bit confusing. I'm not exactly sure what's going on - and it's not made much better by the fact that Cato is the only person who I know in this story. I don't even know if the mentor is male or female; Fallon is a woman's name, but given the weird names in the series I can't be sure. So, I'm guessing the girl who flees the room was the other tribute? And Cato was sleeping with the escort?
I'm not sure what the last line is supposed to mean. His boxers are on backwards, so most likely something happened between him and the escort, but I'm trying to figure out the implications behind Cato bursting into the room in the first place, and why for Fallon "this is answer enough." Does Cato want to sleep with his mentor, does his mentor want to sleep with him? I feel like there's a lot of implication in this piece, but it's a bit too unclear that I don't know what it's supposed to mean.
| Hurlstien chapter 32 . 7/10/2013
I don't recall you writing a chapter from a morphling's perspective yet. I must admit, you done a good job with it; I remember how I pictured them in the book, wide-eyed and a little lost-looking, and you've managed to recreate that image for me so easily here with the descriptions of the colours.
I also like how you've left the morphling nameless.
| Hurlstien chapter 31 . 7/10/2013
[One boy has been whipped, lashes too big for his back.] I like how you've left it to the reader's imagine here, and I can only imagine the result of such a lashing. Poor kid.
Here Fallow learns the nature of the Capitol and then learns to be discreet in his generosity.
[Of course he isn't punished,] I think there should be a comma after [course].
| ShadedRogue chapter 23 . 7/10/2013
I really love the beat of your narrative in this piece. It's irregular, like the irregular heart beats, but it all flows together so well. This piece is great, because even though I know nothing about Harley, I feel like you manage to say so much about him in so little words. You don't have to say much about him, but your effective wording here tells me so much that it's almost as if I've known him for years.
The last paragraph is powerful, because despite his best intentions, there's nothing he can do or say to mask how horrible and brutal the games are. They are what they are, and no matter what he says to them nothing changes.
| Hurlstien chapter 30 . 7/10/2013
[Except one of her father's bulls would have charged up to make sure she was dead. It wouldn't just turn to the next kill.] Great line. Highlight, again, the fact that there is no time to kill someone properly, especially when attempting to stick around the cornucopia at the beginning.
I liked her weapon, I don't read about many people using a whip as a weapon in stories.
[In training Lass finds] I think there should be a comma after [training].
| Hurlstien chapter 29 . 7/10/2013
I like the inclusion of Leonardo, of old time history.
Poor Calci, deciding she already knows she's going to die. I liked the mathematical way she works out how many children have been lost.
[But numbers always behave themselves.] this sentence, to me, suggests Calci is quite young, perhaps twelve, thirteen or fourteen. She is a young prodigy almost, it's a shame shame she dies.
| ShadedRogue chapter 22 . 7/10/2013
Rue always breaks my heart. I like how you used a direct contrast between life in the districts and life in the Capitol - [Their skin already has calluses] I don't remember how old Thresh and Rue are, but the fact that their hands are already covered in calluses tells us that life is hard and that the children have lives of hard labour. The imagery is more powerfully reinforced when you give President Snow as the direct contrast, because unlike them, he's so old, but his hands are still so soft because of his easy life in the Capitol.
The second paragraph really shows us how young Rue really is and how vulnerable she is in the games. I thought you captured her's and Thresh's relationship very well. I also loved how you kept the theme of hands as the focus throughout the entire piece.
| ShadedRogue chapter 21 . 7/10/2013
This one is spooky. Oh my.
You mention in your author's note that she's hallucinating, but it also seems like she could actually be drowning, which is why she's so calm when she sees her dead brother. Judging from her name, Mer, and the fact that her brother calls her "little fish", I get the impression that the sea has always been a part of her life back home. The last is awesome, but also a little dark if she is drowning "...we're going home" to the bottom of the sea.
I'm not sure if Mer survives this hallucination, but either way it's a very powerful piece.
| TheAnarchist'sSuitCollection chapter 6 . 7/10/2013
Cedar blends in perfectly, if you wouldn't have mentioned it, I would've thought he was a canon tribute I missed. I'm really glad I found this story in The Reviews Lounge, Too archives. :P
| TheAnarchist'sSuitCollection chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
I love drabble stories, and this is no exception! I can't tell you how much talent it takes to write a whole story in a hundred words, that why I've never tried. A great start so far, now on to the other 46 chapters! :D
| SunnyStorms chapter 47 . 7/10/2013
So in his way, Jersey was trying to spare Stock as long as he could. That's awful though once you know it gets worst each year. No wonder other mentors are driven to drugs and alcohol to actually numb and remove themselves from it.
Suggestions for this one:
/Stock's mentor before him/ - This doesn't quite make sense; I think you meant more "The mentor before Stock," or just Stock's mentor would work (because Jersey was his mentor right? and then Stock replaced him as a mentor)
/If he'd still been alive now, Stock/ - can be read such that the phrase "if he'd still been alive now" is wrongly modifying Stock instead of Jersey, which is whom you meant.
Overall, this has been a fantastic collection of drabbles with some truly original spins on the characters and the world of the hunger games. Additional kudos for working within an 100 word constraint. You are a great writer and I look forward to reading the rest.