|Reviews for Distractions|
| kittykatkiki chapter 5 . 12/21/2014
Hawke, Isabela, and an adorable kitten. Genius. I especially loved the way you wrote Hawke, she's adorable and charming in her own clumsy and goofy way. And of course, Isabela's wit and humor brought many smiles to my face. Beautiful story, thanks for writing it.
| SpecH82 chapter 5 . 4/5/2014
Sooooo, been reading trough chapter 1-5 today, nice story you got going here! :)
Isabela and Fhawke stories are the best! :)
Finished Dragon age 2 yesterday, went for the Fhawke and Isabela then to, can't wait to see if she will make a reappearance in DA Inquisition! :)
| lilly314 chapter 5 . 3/27/2014
I would like to start by saying that I think you are a fantastic author. Now, I haven't read your other stories, but I will say that you do write really well. The balance between humor (which is unbelievably fantastic and hysterical) and romance is perfect. Also, the way you portray everyone is spot on.
And finally I would like to say that, in my humble opinion, you are fantastic and should write more FemHawke/Isabela goodness. I would love to see more of it (in your style of writing of course) and I look forward to anything else you read.
I love your stuff, and I hope you continue to write. Can't wait.
(As a side note, I would love to see you write about this pair in the DLCs, you know with Tallis and all that. Just a thought. Have a great day!)
| JaysonFour chapter 1 . 3/25/2014
Honestly, I think you have some potential here- the premise of the story is a good idea, and Isabela (one l, not two!) reads like she was lifted right from the game. Not to mention that yes, this does read like something that she'd do to Hawke, especially a female one.
Unfortunately, you've got a few things that need to be taken care of. Your biggest problems happen to be punctuation and sentence structure. For example, take the passage that starts off the story. 'Hawke reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose between a thumb and forefinger, surely the Hanged Man's ale couldn't be this strong!' The sentence just seems to drag on, and it reads kind of... clunky. If you were to, say, substitute a semicolon for the comma, you'd get:
'Hawke reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose between a thumb and forefinger; surely the Hanged Man's ale couldn't be this strong!' After that, all you really need is a small bit of emphasis on the word "this". Maybe put it in italics, or maybe bold, or maybe in all caps to put some emphasis on the word. That helps emphasize that there's something strange about the strength of the ale she's drinking.
In the end, the sentence reads like this:
'Hawke reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose between a thumb and forefinger; surely the Hanged Man's ale couldn't be THIS strong!'
That reads much better- may I suggest that you perhaps find a beta reader- someone to help you stamp out these errors? That should help sort out the rest of the problems the story has.
One more thing- the scene where Isabela is making out with Hawke? You might want to bump the rating up to a T for that- I don't know if that puts it beyond what's appropriate for a K, but better safe than sorry, right?
Anyways, I hope you keep on writing- you've got some potential as a writer! All you really need is to give it a little TLC and maybe a session with a beta, and you'll have a great story on your hands!
| Zizania chapter 4 . 2/23/2014
That's it? I was hoping you will continue this story but yeah..
| gnurd chapter 1 . 10/25/2013
without even reading any of the story besides the summary, I am in awe of your ability to write a story starring Isabela that's K
| Midnight chapter 4 . 8/16/2013
Great story, keep writing! I love it!
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/15/2013
Oh you totally have to continue, this is an awesome story! Very fun.
| sparks3933 chapter 4 . 5/18/2013
I love your story and hope that there is more from Hawke and Bela!
| FloridaMagpie chapter 4 . 4/22/2013
Ah, yes, the epic rivalry: Isabella versus the tiny kitten.
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/19/2013
Really enjoyed this chapter! You're isabela is spot on.
| devildoc35 chapter 3 . 4/5/2013
You have captured Isabella's personality from the game perfectly, and I like how you are writing Hawk. Thanks for the update!
| 1QueasyCrow chapter 2 . 4/4/2013
Hahahaha lolz, I feel like you should know that this fic was actually the reason I ended up playing both dragon age games and flipping out over the third ones release date. Also sooooo funny, especially for the different Hawke. Soo excited for more :D
| Wolvenkite chapter 2 . 4/3/2013
You've got the story marked complete. Love the chapter. Would love to see a story branched off from this chapter. M rated with Isabela doing kinky stuff, like spanking, to Hawke. Love the shy Hawke.
| From Thessia To Rannoch chapter 2 . 4/3/2013