|Reviews for Sins of the Father|
| Skyla11 chapter 4 . 8/6/2014
I like the idea. I hope that Loki will not be too bad with Seth and Eric. Will you write the next chapter or did you leave this story? I hope you will update soon.
| Lukaheim chapter 3 . 2/17/2013
| VenusAmorette chapter 3 . 12/29/2012
Check your inbox, my dearest. c;
| BreezeInMonochromeNight chapter 3 . 12/22/2012
Sorry it took so long to get to reading this, I apologize. I'm on my iPhone and the browser is terribly slow at the moment.
Personally, I think you have a really interesting and original idea. I enjoyed reading these few chapters. :)
Really the only major critique I have for you is the actual structure and punctuation in the story. Some of the larger paragraphs could be broken down where dialogue starts and make two easier to read paragraphs. The walls of text can make people's eyes hurt sometimes. It terms of punctuation, some of the longer sentences could use a comma here and there.
Just remember to always keep your characters in check/keeping canon character from going OOC and you have a good story on your hands.
Other than that, very nice. I like it.
I hope that helps a little!
| szynka2496 chapter 3 . 12/20/2012
my xmas holiday just started yesterday, so I went to to read your story :)
uh yeah, I think you asked for critiques... Problem is that I'm not good at giving critiques at all, since I need them too... :P most things I mention at a review are just my own opinion, which i think won't help much since every reader has got different opinions...
Anyway, first of all, I love your idea for this story :D I always wondered how it would be if Loki had children with a mortal woman, what will happen to them et cetera, especially what they would think of him after what he had done.
(So far I really like Seth xD)
keep writing and update soon ;)
sorry again for not being able to give you proper critiques... xP
| BrunetteAuthorette99 chapter 3 . 12/18/2012
"Rainbow suicide smile"... LOL.
| Tygra's Kitten Hina chapter 3 . 12/18/2012
I feel bad for Steve. I'm beginning to think the Captain's gonna be the one to foster the boys now, and the whole thing with the eight legged horse, it's one of my favorite legends. It's eerie how I researched that bit up a couple of days ago. Anywho, ahaaha, this chapter was really funny and amusing. I can't wait to see the boys' reaction to finding out that Loki is their dad. It's gonna be hilarious. :)
| Tygra's Kitten Hina chapter 2 . 12/18/2012
I can't quite place where Seth and Eric are from but i do love them. They're both funny, especially Seth, but I feel bad about their past. I'm glad that Captain America wants to help them. I wonder if Loki is going to be brought in and if he's aware that he has kids? I'm starting to spook myself now, but seriously, good job. :) I am definitely going to follow this story.
| BrunetteAuthorette99 chapter 2 . 12/17/2012
Here's your first review! ;)
Okay, so you've got some interesting, slightly mysterious OCs going on. Yeah, they're rude, but hey - at least they have flaws, right? (Mary Sues/Gary Stus are the bane of my existence.) I'm curious to know what Steve wants with Seth and Eric, and also how Eric got to be nearly blind in one eye.
Technicalities-wise, the third person is good. However, if you're going to be switching viewpoints between characters, I recommend that you signal that somehow (like through a page break). Other than that, you're off to a solid start and I can't wait to read more!